Vicar of Didley at Ridley

A Country Curate

2010-09-06T13:33:00.000-07:00

As promised, here's the link to my new blog: A Country Curate

All future postings will be there. Hope you enjoyed reading about being a Church of England ordinand, and continue to follow my progress as the training gets practical.

Steve.

A new phase

2010-07-15T14:48:00.000-07:00

It's done. On Sunday July 4th I was ordained in Bristol Cathedral by Bishop Mike. You may now call me Reverend. Or 'oi, you'. Whichever you prefer. Notice from the picture that the delivery of 'curate grey' arrived just in time.

Two official documents now hang on my study wall. One confirms my ordination, bizarrely listing my Bachelor of Engineering degree (presumably as I haven't been awarded my Diploma of Theology yet) and stating that he has been assured of my 'sufficient learning and godly conversation'. The other is my licence to serve in the Benefice of Greater Corsham and Lacock, and 'to perform all ecclesiastical duties belonging to that office'.

Prior to the ordination the seven new curates had been interviewed for the diocese' website, rehearsed the service, and spent three days on retreat - of which most was silent - a struggle for at least half of us. But importantly we started to bond as a 'year group'. We'll be spending quite a lot of time together over the next three years or so as we continue our training in joint sessions at least once a month.

The morning of the service was odd in many ways. Nobody wanted much breakfast - maybe we didn't want to spoil our new clerical shirts. As we gathered in the cathedral's chapter house alongside our training vicars we gradually got quieter as the hour approached. Suddenly we were led outside the cathedral to stand outside the West Door. Above us the bells rang out, and through the open doors came the sound of the organ thundering and the choir parading in ahead of us. With service sheet in hand I tried to sing the opening hymn, but could hardly get two consecutive words out. Music often tugs at the emotions - ever noticed that you can't really sing at a funeral? - but I hadn't expected this, at a happy occasion.

Happy, yet serious. Ordination is a huge commitment. Even though I had been reading the service order through several times a day on the retreat (mostly to memorise where I was meant to be and when) the vows don't really hit you until you say them for real. Eventually the moment of ordination arrived, and we walked up in turn from our front row seats to where the Bishop sat. It was only a few metres, but it seemed like the Walk of Shame on the Weakest Link - time went so slowly and every step seemed to take forever.

The Bishop lays his hands on your head as he ordains you, praying for the Holy Spirit to do his thing. And I'm sure He did. The Bishops hands surely weren't that hot and tingly normally?

Shortly afterwards we had a moment where the Bishop declared it all done, huge rounds of applause followed, and I let out a huge sigh of relief as we congratulated each other.

Holy Communion followed, in which the newly ordained assisted in the distribution - we were meant to alternate 'customers' to ensure a good flow of bodies, but customers can be obstinate when they know you and want to receive it specifically from you. But I'm sure it evened out over time!

At the end, a less formal procession outside, photos with Bishops Mike and Lee, and a quick drive home for a party with family and friends.

It's now time for a change. This blog will retire, partly because I'm not at Ridley any more, but also because it's time for a change of focus. Visit one more time to find details of my new blog which will look at some of the challenges of being a curate in the wilds of Wiltshire.

Time to relax?

2010-06-30T15:22:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I last wrote, but in the intervening two and a half weeks we have:

- moved house from Cambridge to Neston, Wiltshire
- unpacked in record time
- started new schools
- discovered far too many breakages
- spent endless hours on the phone to various utility companies doing their job for them
- laughed at an insurance company who wanted to send their East Anglia assessor to Wiltshire!
- spent days in the garden trying to get it into some sort of thorn-free, reasonably safe state for an ordination party
- had a cup of tea and lunch with the vicar
- had a couple of days off

We're shattered, but tomorrow things change for ever. I go off on retreat / sleepover / murder-mystery party in Bristol, to prepare for ordination. I won't see my family again until Sunday morning at Bristol Cathedral. I'll return home wearing a dog collar, styling myself 'Reverend', suddenly a public figure. They, on the other hand, have to live a normal life without me, go to a parents evening, get the house and garden ready for 70+ visitors on Sunday, and then get used to a slightly different kind of existence (i.e. me going to work for the first time in over two years, but work which is just across the hallway, and at all kinds of strange times)

I don't know in what vein this blog will continue. It will continue, but it might have to take a different flavour.

I'll see you on the other side...

All done

2010-06-11T05:31:00.000-07:00

After Thursday night's Leaver's service and dinner I've cleared my study, handed in my keys, said my goodbyes and left Ridley. In September a new batch of students will arrive, just like I did two years ago.

Key memories of the last two years are:

- croquet in the summer sunshine,

- leading Morning Prayer the day Mark Autherson died,

- hearing the Gospel Choir sing 'God Is' at his funeral

- climbing 54 steps to my study in the first year, and none in the second year

- Romsey Mill

- our two Besom projects

- playing games of "What's in the lecturer's head?" in Old Testament lectures (never did find out!)

- trying to get to grips with Greek along with The Sisterhood (now disbanded)

- being much sillier than is right for somebody my age (but getting away with it)

- preaching from the same pulpit occupied thirty years earlier by Rowan Williams

And memories of Cambridge itself:

- leisurely walks through the Cambridge colleges

- jaywalking Japanese tourists in pursuit of pictures of lampposts

- early morning runs to Grantchester (before dodgy ankles made that truly a memory rather than a sensible thing to do)

On Monday the packers arrive and on Tuesday we leave Cambridge. So the weekend is busy making sure we've hidden things that need to stay with the rented house, and stuffed the car full of stuff that we'll need overnight.

Searching Questions

2010-06-07T13:32:00.001-07:00

After a very early start (4.30am alarm) to deliver child #1 to school for her trip to Holland and Belgium I had my own trip to Swindon today - I was allowed out of college for a pre-ordination meeting with Bishop Lee, at which I met the other 6 ordinands that he'll be ordaining at the same time as me.

Of the seven of us:

5 are men, 2 women,
3 trained full time (like me) and 4 trained 'part time' through regional courses whilst working at the same time (hats off to them!)
3 will be stipendiary (paid a stipend so we don't have to work) / 4 will be 'self supporting' and giving differing amounts of time depending on their circumstances.

After a couple of hours of getting to know each other and chatting about our training experience and backgrounds we each filed dutifully from the lounge into the Bishop's office to answer a few questions. He assured us that these are standard questions that have to be asked of each ordinand, and there was no agenda behind them!

1. Is there any scandal in your life that would cause a problem for the Church in the future? Err, don't think so.

2. Will you adhere to the church's teaching on sexuality? (That's a bit easier, and I'm not planning to wreck the Anglican church on this one) Yes!

3. Is there anything else I need to know about? (Blimey, what does he know?) No!!

And after a short chat and a prayer it was time to leg it to the station to get back home in time to babysit Isaac.

Gospel Choir sings at the asylum centre

2010-06-04T01:47:00.000-07:00

You might have heard of the Oakington Immigration Reception Centre on the news. A few weeks ago there was a major incident there. This week there was a minor incident when the Ridley Hall Gospel Choir (of which I am a member) visited to give a short concert. The Gospel Choir meets every Friday lunchtime for an hour, and we've given three or four concerts, usually in churches, as well as a couple of shorter performances in shopping centres. Our last major concert was on Saturday night in the village of Comberton, but before term finishes there are three smaller events, of which Oakington was the first.

For such a notorious place it's really hard to find. It didn't help that we hadn't been given a precise address to head for, nor that the roadsigns to it have recently been removed. So a 15 minute journey took us an hour. And I had to take my passport - as Oakington houses asylum seekers I guess it's useful to be able to prove that you are a UK resident to be able to get out to go home!

It's quite a depressing place. It's an old military airfield, so it has the look and feel of such places, but drained of any personality. It's more secure than some prisons, surrounded by high barbed wire topped fences and heavy gates, but the area where people actually 'live' is a very small enclosure. I now have a sense of how animals feel in the zoo - they can see all that space outside but they can't get out. A grassy area has been converted into a sports field but that seems to be about all that's going on. It feels like this might have been a lively place once, but it just seems oppressive now.

We are shown into the canteen, which is to be our performance space. Rows of fixed plastic tables and chairs reinforce that this is not a particularly comfortable place to live. We start off with a small audience, but soon the sound of our singing filters out and more come in. We face rows and rows of men (women are kept at a different centre) of many colours and faiths. We are here at the invitation of the chaplain, but are instructed that we shouldn't preach, so our normal song introductions which explain the meaning and background to each song are out, and we have to let the songs speak for themselves. Much of our repertoire is based around old slave songs, and it's bizarre to be singing songs about being captive, wanting to be free, finding freedom in Christ, in such a place. We sing 'Rescue Me' and 'Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance' and these send shivers down my spine. After an hour the depressed faces of our audience have been transformed to ones of smiling and laughter - even if the God we're singing of is not their god.

Afterwards we meet and chat with the residents. I talk with 'Jim' who is from Albania, and has just received his place ticket home. He's in his mid twenties and since leaving Albania he's worked across Europe, spending the last five years in England. I can't get him to explain how he ended up in Oakington, so I suspect he's been working illegally, and the authorities finally caught up with him. But with his flight in sight he's happy that he only has to spend another three nights here. By now he'll be home, but others can stay there for months if they don't accept the Queen's kind offer of a free flight. Two hours there was enough for me.

End Times

2010-06-04T01:26:00.000-07:00

Back at the ranch, college life draws rapidly to a close. With all the formal teaching over, and lecturers with their heads in marking our assignments it's time to amuse the students with some time fillers. Oh, and the clerical shirts have arrived!

Thursday 27th May: The Church Commissioners visit to talk to us about the essential matter of stipends and clergy pensions. Not the world's most thrilling topic, and much of it was duplicated with the superior talk we had from a private tax advisor earlier in the term. But I learnt (or was reminded of) several important points:

I'm not going to be an employee, I'll be an office holder.

I will not have an employer, nor a contract. But for tax purposes, I work for the Church Commissioners.

I am not paid a salary, but a stipend which frees me up from the need to work in order to carry out my ministry (this seems to be a bit of a technicality - I give my working time to the church, they pay me a fixed amount of money at the end of every month - sounds like any other job I've had)

I cannot claim for a duck-house on expenses.

Friday 28th May: Ecclesiastical Insurance presentation. After an hour of sales pitch about investments, ISAs and (more) pensions I ask the obvious question about when they are going to talk about house and car insurance. Which they're not...

Tuesday 1st June: 'Second Chair Leadership' - or 'how to be a leader in the church without being in charge'. An excellent insight for curates who are straining at the leash to be let loose on a church but don't want to fall out with everybody in the first week. In the afternoon we have a debriefing session with the Principal, in which we reflect on our time at Ridley and give constructive feedback.

Weds 2nd June - Fri 4th June: Funerals, Death and Dying. An aptly timed course on what we could be asked to do within our first few days in the parish. We look at the intricacies of the funeral service, visiting the family, aftercare, and a whole load of other stuff. We each deliver a short eulogy/sermon on a fictional character - at the end of this session we all realise that the scenarios given were for tricky situations, all involving mixtures of early / tragic / sudden deaths, just to provide us with that little extra challenge. As I write I'm waiting to go off to the Funeral Directors, dressed appropriately smartly - I'm wearing shoes (rather than trainers) to 'work' for the first time in two years!

Meanwhile, it's half term, and the rest of the family is in the new house in Wiltshire, picking up where I left off last week, finishing the painting, laying floors and hanging curtains.

Painter Man II

2010-05-27T14:05:00.000-07:00

I'm absolutely very tired! After six solid days of painting, during which my Mum, Dad and I started cleaning and/or painting before 9am and finished each day at about 10pm, with the occasional break for food, drink or to pop out to top up supplies, I've stopped and returned home. And now the tiredness is catching up with me - I nearly fell asleep in chapel this evening, but this wasn't a comment on the quality of the speaker!

But go here to see the result - a selection of before and after comparisons. Evidence of further crimes against tasteful colours was discovered in other rooms, lurking behind radiators. As you can see, the difference between the late 90's and now is bold and loud versus muted and cool!

Painter Man

2010-05-20T14:44:00.000-07:00

Three weeks until I leave Ridley, and with all essays now handed in I am free for a few days. Those on other courses have exams (this time last year I was revising for Greek!) but I have nothing on the timetable for a whole week!

We've packed up my mum and dad's car with paint, dustsheets, food and tools and tomorrow I'm off to decorate a vicarage!

I've never bought so much paint in one go (the picture only shows half of it), but then I've never tried to paint a whole house at once. I'm particularly looking forward to neutralising the orange lounge and the purple bedroom.

My target for the next week is to get the house to a state where the rest of my family can visit in half-term week to worry about carpets and curtains.

So it's off to bed, then off to Wiltshire.

Revenge of the 5ith

2010-05-05T13:13:00.000-07:00

I'm now the proud owner of a load of clerical garb - cassock, surplice, preaching scarf, vicar's hoodie and a Jedi / Scottish Widows cloak.

The cloak has an inside pocket, which fits a toy lightsaber. It arrived on Star Wars day (May the Fourth be with you!) and was tried on for size on Revenge of the 5ith day (that'll be May the 5th then). And it's amazing, but I must discipline myself not to quote Yoda at the graveside.

Sorry there's no pictures yet, will follow up with that once I've got everything - still need to order shirts and dog collars.

When Ali met Sally

2010-05-05T12:50:00.000-07:00

I've been quiet here for a while - but the first two weeks of term have been hectic! I've been mostly trying to write an essay on the book of Judges, but other stuff kept getting in the way. Ridley has a habit of doing that - there are just some days when you have to accept that you aren't going to achieve anything progress-wise...I've had two of those already.

We had double rations of New Testament lectures this term, which needed a LOT of preparation, meaning little progress on writing assignments, but now that course is finished, and we're down to five hours of lectures for the next couple of weeks. Meaning that I can finally put my foot to the pedal and get some serious writing done.

Today I had a good day - the essay is now written and is in that 'simmering' state, where it's been printed, waiting for Mrs Didley to proof read it and for me to have a brainwave about a very important point that I've left out. But to be honest she's never corrected anything other than grammar, punctuation and half deleted sentences, and I've never had a major rethink at the last minute. So it's now 99.9% complete, and I have another 2.5 essays to write in the next 2 weeks. That will be fun, as for two of them I haven't started the reading for them yet. There might be a few late nights coming up, and I'm not counting election night, which will be far too exciting in TV to be able to read anything.

Having completed one essay there's a quick lull, and time to reward myself with a bit of blogging, time to try to remember what else happened since term began. I know there's something I want to blog about but it's fallen out of mind...but there's something I haven't forgotten - Incumbent's Day.

For the non-technically minded, my 'training incumbent' means my boss-to-be, Rev Sally Wheeler. She's the vicar of Lacock, I'll be her curate/apprentice/Padawan learner. Last Tuesday about half of our incumbents came up to Ridley for a day, where they heard about what Ridley has been trying to teach us and had a meeting with our tutors (hence the title!). Both Ali and Sally promise me that they didn't discuss anything that I hadn't already discussed with Ali previously - nevertheless it's a bit wierd knowing that somebody is meeting and talking about you. Obviously, 30 minutes was insufficient time to talk about my many talents and skills - I don't know how they crammed it all in.

After that, all students and incumbents were encouraged to spend time together talking about our hopes and fears for the curacy, our working relationship etc. We had a good chat - we seemed to spend all afternoon sitting on a bench by the croquet lawn - all very civilised!

Sally was bowled over by the stunning setting and the peacefulness of Ridley - I guess we don't necessarily appreciate what a special place it is until somebody points it out. But there's not much of it left - it's now less than 6 weeks until we leave.

End of the holidays

2010-04-17T05:20:00.000-07:00

We're just coming up to the end of my last holiday period while at Ridley - from here on it will be back to that more normal pattern of booking time off like most people have to do.

Actually holiday allowance isn't that bad - the equivalent of 6 weeks off a year, and no more than 6 Sundays. And this year I'll arrive in the parish after ordination and we'll be almost straight into the summer holidays!

But what have I been doing for the last 4 weeks of the Easter break? A bit of everything really!

Much of the first week was spent on a mission in Rugby. This is part of my course requirement, and as I'll be writing an essay for assessment I can't say too much here because, bizarrely, if I post details on my blog and then write similar sentences in the essay I may fail an on-line plagarism checker, causing myself to fail! All I'll say is that a team of 8 spent 5 days working with a team of 3 churches in Rugby, supporting them in their aim to reconnect with their communities - it was 'interesting', busy and tiring, but worth it.

After that my parents visited for a few days, then we spent the Easter weekend in Dorset. Along the way we met up with old friends, old churches, visited our new house, and our old house, and ate too much chocolate.

Upon our return we realised that I go back to college on the same day that the kids go back to school, so we had to replan what we had thought would be children-free days to later dates. A few lazy days at home, a few days out, and hey presto, it's suddenly the end of the holiday. I wish I could show siginficant progress on my 4 essays which are due in next term, but that would be tricky. I guess the mission one is half written, and I have at least chosen what the other ones will be, and even started a bit of reading for my Old Testament one, but the weeks ahead are going to be busy, especially as I need to hand some in a few days early in order to be able to go and decorate the new house in late May.

That in itself is a major distraction - when I'm reading a worthy book I'll realise that I've been thinking about paint colours, floorcoverings or electrical applicances. On the upside, we have spent quite a lot of time in retail therapy, disposing of some of the relocation allowance that I receive, and most of the purchases have been made.

From today it's just over 8 weeks until the removal van arrives, 11 weeks until my ordination. 4 essays, a house to decorate, a whole pile of forms to fill out, and a croquet tournament to win!!

Sabbath! And a mad idea

2010-03-21T12:19:00.000-07:00

We had a pleasant change from the usual end-of-term short courses this week. We have become accustomed to being shut in a room with 70 other people, allowing Powerpoint to wallow over us and lull us into a catatonic state for a day or so in the week between teaching finishing and term actually ending. However this term was different. With nothing on the calendar I was looking forward to a solid 3 day run at getting my Life and Service essay written. And then, 3 weeks ago we found out that this would not be the case. We were going to have 'compulsory fun' instead, being encouraged to take out at least a half-day in the first half of the week as a 'Sabbath' - a complete break, where we were to spend time recharging our batteries doing something we don't normally get a chance to do.

A Day Off.

There were mixed feelings about this. More than one person was heard to comment that they don't normally get a chance to write an essay so that would be a pleasant change. I wouldn't mind if what was being modelled to us was good long-term planning, but as I've already said, my long-term plan was to use the time to do some work before a deadline, which was the Thursday of the week that we were being told to take time off in!!

As I usually don't do major college work at the weekend, I ended up not working Saturday and Sunday, working like fury on Monday and into early Tuesday morning so that I could take Tuesday off as my Sabbath. I then got my head down on Wednesday, wrote the essay and handed it in on Thursday, when we broke up for Easter. And I've now got a month off..... Brilliant plan!

Having said that, we had a lovely Day Off. We headed over to Ely Cathedral, where we wandered around, had a free guided tour, went in their stained glass museum, took lots of photos and had lunch in the Almondry restuarant nearby before pootling round shops for a while (that bit wasn't my idea!). It was really refreshing to do something completely unrelated to college, and I made a point of doing no work when we got home, even though I could feel the pressure of the unfinished essay.

It was a good exercise to do though. It set a good precedent for when I start Real Work this summer and I start Living At The Office, where boundaries between work and leisure can become very blurred if you let them.

In the spirit of constructive feedback, I've suggested that in future we try to take such breaks in the middle of term, maybe in half-term week - even though the college doesn't do half-term we generally have half or whole days free of timetabled activities each and every week that we could use as Official Down-Time.

And finally, I had a Mad Idea. I've recently become fascinated by cathedrals, how and why they are built, how they serve their communities, how they have evolved. So I've decided that I want to visit all the English cathedrals. There are 'only' 44 of them (or 42 if you exclude the Isle of Man and Gibraltar). If I were Dave Gorman i would now do something irrational, such as committing to do this before my ordination. but I'm not Dave, so I'll just settle for visiting them all at some point in the future. Even 4 per year seems adventurous. Do the math(s)

Should keep me out of trouble.

I've got a Prezi for you!

2010-03-11T14:59:00.000-08:00

We had fun in chapel tonight. My fellow student Chris told me about a new piece of audio-visual software called Prezi, which is a great alternative to the ubiquitous Powerpoint, and a bit more flexible. It has some limitation, but it's free and very easy to use.

Here's the result, with what we used tonight:

The main sequence

Psalm 63

Get it at www.prezi.com

Luke, I am your father....

2010-03-11T13:45:00.000-08:00

Last year I went along as a spectator, and spent about 20 minutes hanging around. This year I spend nearly 3 hours being measured and trying on clerical garb at what is known as the Tat Fair.

My fashion consultant accompanied me, to ensure that I didn't make any expensive mistakes or choose unwise colours - this is easily the most expensive clothing I've ever bought. But most of what I've ordered today will last me for the rest of my life, unless my shape changes drastically. I've ordered a cassock, a surplice, a preaching scarf, a clerical hoodie and a dual purpose cloak / Jedi costume - which unfortunately doesn't have an internal lightsaber pocket.

It's amazing how casually you can spend hundreds of pounds when you know somebody else is paying for it - we all get a grant to cover the cost of equipping ourselves with the right clothing for the job, and I went with what felt and looked right, rather than looking too closely at the price tag. Some of my colleagues have spent the bare minimum, but that tends to reflect the fact that they will wear the formal robes very little in their weekly duties. Where I'm going I'll be wearing robes Sunday by Sunday, conducting funerals in blustery country churchyards, and hunting down Darth Vader in my spare time.

Look away now if you don't want a preview of the future.

I've yet to order any shirts or stoles (seasonal coloured scarves) as the huge range on display left our heads spinning. Apparently the choices available have considerably widened since women were ordained. And that's a good thing - there is a core set of traditional vicar's shirt colours which I don't particularly like, and it's nice that I can pretty much nominate a colour and find that there will be a shirt available in it. So there's a lot to thank the girls for!!

I did try a couple of shirts on. It's a scary moment when you put that stiff piece of plastic in your collar. Keep this photo to yourself. Don't tell the rest of the internet about it. I think it's an offence to impersonate a clergyman!

Next I just need to find some nice jackets, comfy shoes, some important looking service books, office equipment.....

Forgiven. By Sally Traffic

2010-03-02T11:46:00.000-08:00

Further to my earlier article about St Edmund I've now made my confession to a wider audience on Radio 2's 'Confessions' today. (follow the link, it starts at about 37 mins 20 secs into this, but is only there for the next 7 days!)

The good news is that I've been absolved by Father Simon, Brother Matt, Mother Sally and Sister Foxy. So everything is clear for July.

Now, must remember not to mislead parishioners in a similar manner.....

Leaving so soon?

2010-02-28T08:37:00.000-08:00

We are already approaching 'The End'. The end of the Lent Term is only 3 weeks away. Two more Sundays and my commitments at my attachment church, St Georges, come to a conclusion. I can be a free agent on a Sunday morning during my final term.

So with this landmark appearing it was time for a farewell pint. And it was on the way to the farewell pint that I realised that the end of my time in Cambridge is really coming to an end. This week I started getting quotes for the house move, so I can set a move date, so I can give notice to our rental agency, which needs to happen next week! That point will mark 'three months to go'.

Am I ready for this?

Big Speakers and Dead Flowers

2010-02-23T14:36:00.001-08:00

It was one of those days today. Got very little done, but had a good time doing it.

We welcomed Mike Pilavachi as a guest speaker for a special lecture to the entire Federation this afternoon, as well as preacher at Federation Worship, which meant that we spent all afternoon setting up the sound equipment and soundchecking with the band. In turn this meant that the things I normally spend all Tuesday doing (preparation for lectures for the rest of the week) got compressed or ignored in a small 2 hour slot in the morning.

Mike is somewhat of a celebrity amongst those who have worked with youth - he's the founder of the Soul Survivor annual festivals, amongst other achievements - so many people were looking forward to hearing him speak. Knowing that I was going to be the sound engineer today meant that there was a fair chance I'd be meeting him. However, I didn't expect to go totally incoherent within 30 seconds of meeting him.

The church doorbell rings (yes, they have doorbells!). I answer it. There, like a drowned rat in the pouring rain is a dripping wet Greek bloke. I let him in, introduce myself, he asks me which year I'm in, and I go incoherent trying to explain that I'm a second and final year! I feel like Jar Jar Binks (see illustration). Hardly a great first impression. However, later conversation is a greater improvement. In his lecture Mike spoke of his regret that at Soul Survivor 2009 he encouraged a Big Top full of young people to turn to Jesus, but didn't explain the cost of being a disciple. Afterwards in a quiet corner I catch him and we discuss the effect that obedience to God's call has on not only my own life, but also that of my children who will shortly have to move for the second time in two years, and make friends all over again.

It's interesting the effect that a 'celebrity' speaker has on Fed Worship. We've never had to put extra chairs out before.

Afterwards, clearing up, I demonstrate why churches shouldn't have flowers out in Lent, as I drop a rather heavy speaker (of the audio variety) on top of a lovely arrangement of daffodils and tulips. The speaker won.

Don't stop me now!

2010-02-12T10:37:00.000-08:00

I preached a homily in chapel yesterday morning.

"What's a homily?" I hear you all mumble....

It's a very short sermon, a micro-talk, slightly longer than a tweet. About 3 minutes long, which isn't time to say an awful lot. Basically, you need to choose one point and stick to it. In front of the whole college.

The text I was given to work with was the story of Jacob wrestling with God (Genesis chapter 32), after which he walked with a limp for the rest of his life. Which is apt, given that my walking posture is not exactly normal these days.

We opened with a very laid-back jazz version of Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now" playing as people came in for Morning Prayer (go to itunes and search for 'Jeroen van der Boom'), which is unusual in itself. It was important to choose the right style of this song, as the original Queen version at 8.15am would have been too much!

This talk was delivered with the chairs arranged facing inwarsd to the aisle, so that I could amble up and down and look people in the eye to challenge them at certain points. I hadn't anticipated how well this would emphasise the fact that I was walking - a very physical demonstration of my point!

My text follows:

As I was thinking about this homily I was sitting in a seminar considering the following verses from Matthew 9, and it struck me how appropriate they were for the message that was swimming around in my head:
And as Jesus sat at dinner in the house, many tax-collectors and sinners came and were sitting with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, ‘Why does your teacher eat with tax-collectors and sinners?’ But when he heard this, he said, ‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick [do]. Go and learn what this means, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.’
Do you need a physician? I wonder if you realize that you are sick? In last week’sDimbleby lecture Sir Terry Pratchett spoke of his Alzheimers disease, how over a number of years he noticed that his typing wasn’t as good as it had been, that he wasn’t noticing things, that gradually life was changing.

In our reading from Genesis today we heard of how Jacob wrestled with God, and had a sudden change in his leg. He was left with a limp for the rest of his life.

I wonder how that passage spoke to you. For me it was an interesting choice, because, like Jacob, I’ve got a dodgy leg. In fact I’ve got two dodgy legs. But like Sir Terry, I didn’t even know that I had for a long time. For several years before I came to Ridley people at work asked me why I was walking ‘like that’, and I, reassured by family, told them that I’ve always walked ‘like that’. It’s only when I got here and met a whole pile of concerned new friends, who were trying desperately to exercise their new found pastoral skills, along with a physiotherapist at my attachment church who told me that actually we’ve never had an acolyte who walks ‘like that’ and I really ought to get it seen to, that I started to think ‘maybe there is something wrong’. And within thirty seconds of meeting my consultant, he could tell that there was something not quite right with me. But the diagnosis had to wait until somebody had the chance to put some serious voltages through my legs…

You see, the motor nerves to my toes, feet and ankle are slowly losing communication with my brain. It’s called a neuropathy, and it’s unlikely that anything can be done about it. It’s taken 40 years to get as far as not being able to stand on tiptoes, and I didn’t even know I couldn’t do that until I was asked to… So I might end up walking with a stick. Now I understand why I was finding it so difficult to climb the 54 stairs to my study at the top of ‘A’ staircase last year. Now I know why my legs get tired in the middle of a long shopping expedition, or why I sometimes need to hold onto the chair in front of me during a long liturgical stand. Like Jacob I’ve been living with a limp. Unlike Jacob I didn’t even realize I had it. So if this time last year Jesus had told me I needed to see a physician (whether literally or metaphorically) I might have laughed at him and said “Not me, Jesus, I don’t need a doctor. I’m alright. You must mean somebody else.” But, if we’re talking in the same metaphor as Jesus, that puts me in the same place as the Pharisees, who thought that they had no need of a physician.

I know I’m not perfect – yet – but that’s the stuff I’m aware of. I know the things that I keep confessing and promising not to do again, but that keep coming back. What behaviours am I not aware of? Maybe sometimes I think “that’s just me, take it or leave it” when in reality I need to change something. There are the words that spill out of us when we're stressed or caught off guard that reflect the real inner 'me', not the professional ‘shields up’ public front that we start to develop here.

Are you busy saying “Don’t stop me now. I’m having such a good time” to Jesus?
What does he want to bring to your attention that you’re ignoring?

Picture (c) thebricktestament.com

Trouble at the top?

2010-02-06T06:46:00.000-08:00

This window intersects my field of vision most days of the week - it's the east end of Ridley chapel. I gaze at it while waiting for things to start. I focus on different things - sometimes the different people, sometimes the tiny details, sometimes the shape of the stonework. In the winter I long for the summer mornings to come so that it is backlit by the rising sun. In the summer I wish that there were more buildings behind it because the sunlight is dazzling me!

Just recently I've noticed what's happening, but I don't know why. The figures, from left to right, are: St Peter, St Matthew, Jesus, St Luke, and St Paul. But Paul has obviously fallen out with Jesus about something, as all the others are looking towards Jesus - Paul is the only one with his head turned away.

Answers on a postcard please!

Vibrating Jesus

2010-02-06T05:36:00.000-08:00

A lot of our personal theology (i.e. what we think of God) is formed from the songs and hymns we sing in church services. A lot can be formed by what we read, or what we hear in sermons, and we usually have an opinion on messages we receive by those routes ('won't be reading his books again', 'Didn't agree with that preacher') but we usually object less to what we sing.

Case in point - at College Communion this last Thursday night we had a good mix of old and new, contemporary songs and older hymns and I loved the new musical setting for the 'Nunc Dimittis' even though I didn't know what the Nunc Dimittis was before this week. And I'm not saying that because my friend Disco Dave was leading and had written that new setting.

But in the final hymn 'We Shall Go Out With Hope of Resurrection' there were lyrics that sneaked up on you. It's a relatively modern 1990's set of words, to a familiar tune - Danny Boy. The first verse was fine:

We shall go out with hope of resurrection,

We shall go out, from strength to strength go on,

We shall go out, and tell our stories boldly,

Tales of a love that will not let us go.

We'll sing our songs of wrongs that can be righted,

We'll dream our dream of hurts that can be healed,

We'll weave a cloth of all the world united,

Within the vision of a Christ who sets us free.

OK? Having sung that through in your head have you really taken the words on board? If you sing in church how often do you actually process the words between eye and mouth? Do they pass through your brain on the way, or does your mouth just flap up and down vaguely in time with the music? If you've processed it, can you see why it's been used for services post 9/11, services for abused women, for the disenfranchised?

Let's move onto verse 2, which tells us what we should be doing to help those situations described in the first verse.

We'll give a voice to those who have not spoken,

We'll find the words for those whose lips are sealed,

We'll make the tunes for those who sing no longer,

Vibrating Jesus into every heart.

We'll share our joy with those who are still weeping,

Chant hymns of strength for hearts that break in grief,

We'll leap and dance the resurrection story,

Including all within the circles of our love.

I have to admit that I wasn't really concentrating on what I was singing in this song at all until I saw line 4 looming. And no sooner had it loomed and been sung than I noticed several of my fellows having difficulty with it - one almost doubled over in uncontrollable laughter, others merely with their heads and shoulders shaking a little more than normal. I don't remember singing the rest of the verse, and the main topic of conversation over dinner was that line.

Exactly how do I vibrate Jesus into people's hearts? If you know, please tell me. Only the brave ask Google. I think I know what the writer was trying to say, and I wish I was as innocent as he, but does nobody proof read these things before they are published?

My subsequent research into this hymn has failed to find that precise lyric on the internet. I suspect it got modified in individual churches quite quickly after publication, as I've found a few alternative versions in published service sheets: 'Expressive love alive in every heart', 'Vibrating love alive in every heart', but actually these don't communicate the writer's original sentiment.

Disco Dave was quite upset about our reaction to the hymn as it's one of his favourites. Apart from that line I love it too, and would probably use it. It has been used for as well as just being a great 'going out' hymn for reminding people what their Christian responsibilities are. But we mess with song lyrics at our peril - sometimes the theology expressed in a song isn't quite what we agree with, and with so many churches using screens these days it's so easy to change words at the click of a mouse. But we should seek the author's permission to do so, and they will frequently refuse permission as it totally changes the meaning of the song as written. In which case we should either use it as written, or choose another song.

And that leaves me in a dilemma with this song.

p.s. The hymn discussed is (c) June Boyce-Tillman, 1993.

Tired already

2010-01-31T14:24:00.000-08:00

That's partly just physically tired, and partly just sick of a constant cycle of reading.

I might have mentioned before that this term's timetable contains both Old and New Testament modules - I did it that way to ensure I had a reasonably balanced timetable each side of Christmas. The only downside is that both modules involve large amounts of reading and preparation from week to week, in order to ensure that I get the most from each lecture or seminar, and this has meant that I've have relatively little free time during the day at college, and that I'm usually mentally exhausted by the time I drag myself home.

However, I did learn that it's not good to mention this at the dinner table, as a day slaving over hot library books is not equivalent to a day cleaning the house from top to bottom. Apparently.

The Trinity of Power

2010-01-15T15:41:00.000-08:00

We had a big power failure at college yesterday. I was in the right place at the wrong time, and ended up discovering where most of the electricity distribution panels are as we tried to work out what was going on, whilst our Facilities Manager, Trevor, was in the wrong place, stuck in a traffic jam on the wrong side of town, dictating instructions by phone!

In the end the fault was too big to be fixed simply by resetting switches and breakers - a huge mains fuse had blown, and taken out one 'phase' of electricity, which means that approximately a third of the college had no power. Whilst I was trained in this sort of stuff the last time I was at college I struggled to explain to a load of theological book-heads why seemingly random buildings were in darkness. It was only much later that I realised that explaining it in terms of the Trinity would be much easier. So here goes. Let me know if this makes sense!

Christians believe that God has three distinct 'personalities' - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. They co-exist a bit like water does (as ice, liquid and steam). All three are inseparable, and although sometimes one may seem to be acting a bit more than the others, they generally work in balance. Electricity is delivered a bit like that too.....here's the science bit

When electricity is generated on a large scale at the power station, in a wind turbine etc, the generator always makes three 'phases' of electricity during each rotation of the machine (there's a whole load of maths behind this, but you really don't want to know - it's simply the best way to do it). Like the vanes of a 3 blade wind turbine these phases are spaced 120 degrees apart, and are called red, blue and yellow. In a modern street typically the first and fourth house is wired to red, the second and fifth to blue, the third and sixth to yellow, and so on, so in a power cut you may find that your neighbour still has power while you don't. Big buildings or complexes will use all three phases, with different bits wired to red, blue and yellow in order to balance the load across the phases - if the load isn't balanced it starts causing real problems when everybody switches their kettles on after EastEnders. Now for us, overnight our electrician temporarily re-wired some parts of the college to ensure heat and light to as many people as possible, but this wouldn't be safe for too long. Still with me? Good. Now for the Jesus bit.

If we place too much emphasis on any one part of God's trinity we are in danger of becoming unsafe ourselves. If we rely on God the Father too much, if we do not demonstrate the love of Jesus or fail to acknowledge the role that the Holy Spirit has to play, we are not presenting a balanced view of God. When we place too much load on one or two where we should lean equally on three we will eventually fail. Some churches overemphasise aspects of one of the Trinity and the people there receive an incomplete picture of God.

The three parts of God never go away. Just like the electricity at Ridley, when the electrician installs the new main switch all three phases red, blue and yellow are waiting to flow back into those wires. The utility company continues to pump electricity down the cables towards us, but our fault in the blue phase means we can't connect to it until we fix that fault. The fault is on our side, not the Provider's.

A week of contrasts

2010-01-15T15:16:00.000-08:00

A real mixed week - it started with a 2.5 day Intensive Course on "Sexuality and the Pastoral Encounter". This is a requirement of the Church of England, and it's not one that many people look forward to - it has the potential for some serious controversy. We looked at attitudes to relationships, marriage, sex, homosexuality, before eventually getting round to the title of the course in the last 3 hours, where we looked at appropriate boundaries for behaviour and protecting ourselves, given that our job is likely to find us alone with people...

Following that I led Morning Prayer in chapel on Thursday morning, the day that lectures resumed. I commemorated St Edmund, briefly summarising his life as 'a former Archbishop of Canterbury at a time when belief in God was not a requirement of the job. His immediate predecessors in the job met with sudden and violent deaths, and to avoid a similar fate he disguised himself as a nun and hid in a convent'. This story raised a few giggles in chapel, with a member of staff overheard saying "Those were the good old days!". I then continued with the service for the next 30 minutes. However, I have to confess my St Edmund was a complete wind-up. St Edmund's Day isn't in January, and the Edmund Archbishop of Canterbury that I was referring to was the one portrayed by Rowan Atkinson in the first series of Blackadder!

Divine justice was dealt later in the day when a major electrical fault cut the power to 1/3rd of the college in the late afternoon. In the growing darkness our weekly Thursday evening Communion service was cancelled, and a half cooked dinner was distributed to staircase kitchens for completion!

Finally, today we were in a 'Life and Service' class, learning about the right and wrong ways to do funerals, and reflecting on how you may have to go from a funeral to a school assembly or a baptism visit when we got a text message telling us of the imminent birth of yet another Ridley baby. A perfect illustration of the point!

Two doorbells?

2010-01-11T12:40:00.000-08:00

Having had my "last Christmas off", I started preparations for next Christmas by doing what clergy normally do - disappearing for a good long break!

We went back 'home' to Ferndown for a few days, staying with friends Lisa and Ian and celebrating New Year with various 'Singstar' renditions. Tasha was most displeased that I can outsing her on karaoke!!

A flying visit to St Mary's Church where I promoted the Ridley Lent Book (of which more soon) and shared the good news of the curacy situation. Far too many familiar faces and only 30 minutes of coffee time to speak to not many at all....

After that, we were treated to a visit to the pantomime in Bournemouth, and then we retreated further west to Lee Abbey in North Devon, where several Ridley (and many other) ordinands and their spouses and families gathered, to be led by the Bishop of Bolton, Chris Edmondson. Note to future curates: try to get a job with this man!!

Titled 'Navigating a sea of change' we considered many of the practical aspects of life in the vicarage - much of which was not new to the ordinands, but maybe was to the spouses, and anyway it was being presented in a fresh way, by a bishop! Several sessions were immediately followed by detailed discussions on whether to have one or two telephones / mobiles / doorbells, development of family policies on answering the door etc.

We hardly saw our children all week - one of the many benefits of youth workers! We were afraid that the usual (deliberate) lack of facilities of a retreat centre (no TV, no internet, no mobile network even!) would be a bit of a problem, but Lee Abbey are realistic about what children need, and at least the TV was not denied them - Beth kept us up to date on developments in EastEnders from the youth suite TV!

However, we didn't see the news. Daily weather reports didn't prepare us for the snow that was blanketing the country. We assumed the lack of newspapers was because there was a slightly icy hill between the paper shop and the Abbey. It was only when we were on the way home, having driven through some cleared snow drifts, that we stopped at a service station and saw a newspaper with that iconic satellite image of a snow covered UK that we realised what had been happening.

The snow was unbroken either side of the car until we got home, when we discovered that the gas engineer who had been fixing our boiler in our absence had tripped the electricity safety devices 48 hours previously and had been unable to access our fusebox! Fortunately it was so cold inside the house that the contents of the freezer were virtually unaffected, and after a small hiccup restarting the boiler (gas man didn't look impressed at being called out on a Friday evening) we finally got the house up to temperature by the time we got out of bed on Saturday morning.

All in all a leisurely break, slightly extended for both me and the children by the Lee Abbey week, but now back in anger to the January Intensive courses. I'm doing a compulsory one on Sexuality. Deep joy.....

An inconvenience

2009-12-27T05:44:00.000-08:00

I couldn't quite believe it when I read this article about proposals to put up railings around a former church in Cambridge city centre. The message that comes across is "the homeless and drunks are an inconvenience and we don't want anything to do with them. They are somebody else's problem".

Now, the Round Church isn't actually a church anymore. The former congregation now worship elsewhere, and it's being run as some sort of arts centre / intellectual talking shop. But it's run by an organisation called 'Christian Heritage'. The Christian response to the homeless problem should be to offer support, not to lock them out. In another place on their website they start to answer this criticism, but hide behind excuses that their charitable status doesn't enable them to contribute directly but that they (presumably intellectually) support the work of a local charity 'Wintercomfort', who seem to be much more switched on. Their response in a later newspaper article needs no further comment by me, apart from "well said!"

Ironically, Christian Heritage advertise for student interns to join them to learn "more about our unique approach to Christian engagement with contemporary culture". It's certainly an innovative apporach that Jesus would not have taken.

Christian Heritage - I'm not impressed. You use the labels 'church' and 'Christian' yet your actions tell otherwise.

The Cost of Marriage

2009-12-23T03:01:00.000-08:00

...there, that's got you reading on hasn't it? What's been going on in the vicarofdidley's household? Actually nothing of excitement or intrigue....but I did read this article on the BBC website, with marriage being the subject of a new green paper.

There's so much in there that I could talk about. Labour seeing any "stable and lasting relationship" as a good basis for child welfare, versus the Tories arguing that marriage helps keep couples together for the benefit of the children. I'm with the Tories on this one.

They then go on to talk about tax breaks for married couples, something which has been slowly pulled apart by the last few governments (of both flavours), but it's at this point that I start to fall asleep. However, there's something else they don't expand upon, which surely is a major obstacle for getting married, and that's the perceived cost of the wedding day itself.

The current figure for the 'cost of a wedding', based on newspaper and magazine articles that I've read seems to be around £30,000. Now I don't know how much my own wedding cost, as I only paid a small part of it (the bits that the groom traidtionally pays for), and it was 15 years ago, but I'm sure it was nowhere near this. Only a couple of generations ago a wedding reception was a simple meal back at home. Now it's been turned into an industry of 'essentials' that are mostly superfluous trimmings.

The actual cost of a church wedding = the ceremony, registration fees etc, is around £300 - 1% of that £30,000 figure. How do people manage to inflate it so much?

I'm going to enjoy meeting and preparing engaged couples for their marriage. I'll do everything I can to encourage more to get married, maybe by attending local wedding fairs (most people don't realise they are entitled to get married in church) but there's little I can do about the things people tack onto the side of a wedding, that build a huge financial hurdle that will burden somebody for a long time.

And finally, the Tories green paper will suggest "the offering of relationship advice at civil ceremonies". That sounds awfully like a wedding sermon by another name. The last time I went to a civil ceremony the mention of God was banned, so I wonder on what basis that relationship advice will be given?

The holiday begins

2009-12-20T07:51:00.000-08:00

I know, teaching finished 3 weeks ago and term 11 days ago, but I don't count my holiday as actually having started until my work is handed in.

I've finally written what I needed to write about 'Divorce and Remarriage' and 'The Unity of the Church'. The second one was subtitled 'The One Show', but I suppose both could have been....

Both essays were handed in at Ridey at 2256hrs last night on my way to pick Beth and her friends up from their Super Hero Ball.

So, now the break begins! I can start to relax by attacking the list of jobs that has been prepared for me....

It's Corsham and Lacock

2009-12-16T05:15:00.000-08:00

Having visited the Bishop of Swindon yesterday (yes I did, he even mentions me on his blog entry for the day) and having received and accepted his offer of a job, I can finally announce the news that I'll be ordained and licensed as the Curate in the Team Ministry of Greater Corsham and Lacock* in Bristol Cathedral on Sunday July 4th 2010. I'm not sure how many others will be ordained at the same time, but if you want to come and sit close together I'm sure there will be room! The picture is of St Bartholomew's, Corsham, taken while eating our lunch in the churchyard on our first visit!

'Corsham and Lacock' is a group of 5 churches over a diverse urban, rural and agricultural area. My boss (more formally 'my training incumbent') will be the Rev. Sally Wheeler, the Vicar of Lacock. I'll be working mostly with her on her patch in Lacock, but cropping up from time to time in the other churches.

Corsham is a country town, population about 15000, Lacock is a National Trust village frequently used for filming (e.g. Cranford, Harry Potter), Neston is where the set for 'Lark Rise' is, I've yet to discover Gastard's claim to fame and have to confess that we ran out of time to go to Bowden Hill. But I feel exhausted just listing them, never mind flitting around them for the next four years!

We'll move in mid June 2010 and will be living in the Vicarage in Neston village, where hopefully Isaac will be able to attend the village primary school over the garden fence (go on Google Earth, Neston - Wiltshire and you'll see house, school and church in one handy package). Beth wants to go to Corsham School, a short bus ride away, so the next couple of weeks will see us filling in school application forms and getting proof of residency from the Diocese. It's a spacious four bedroomed bungalow, with a good sized garden, and we're looking forwards to getting our hands on it and turning it into our home.

Exciting times ahead!

*(subject to completion of training, other terms and conditions may apply, the value of curates may go up as well as down)

Last week of term

2009-12-16T05:06:00.001-08:00

So I'm a still a little behind on blogging, but I'm getting there with the essays.

The last week of term, which appropriately was last week, was a little busy. Monday saw the Gospel Choir out singing in a shopping centre in Cambridge. Not sure if people knew why we were doing it, but it was fun singing at innocent shoppers for an hour, even if I had only learnt one song on the day, having never heard it before. And not a carol in sight, or sound.

Tuesday saw the non-first years having a half-day course on Managing Change in the Church - making us aware of how change is perceived by different types of people, and how to approach things so that people will want to engage with change rather than resist it every step of the way.

Wednesday was actually a day off - got lots of reading and writing done.

Thursday, not a chance of doing anything, with my diary packed full of little one-off meetings and events, starting with a Hall Meeting (all staff and students) and culminating in the annual Advent Carol Service and after that the Christmas Dinner/Party/Revue/Ceilidh. Which was nice, but the layout of Ridley offers little opportunity for mingling spaces. Suddenly it was all over, people had disappeared and we realised that we won't see most of them again for a month.

All those 'Happy Christmas' wishes remain unsaid.....

Sermon Class

2009-12-11T10:47:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday I had one of those strange Ridley anomalies - a piece of work that is highly critical, yet which I can't pass or fail. Sermon Class.

This means that a small group of students, along with one of the tutors, comes along to my attachment church and listens to me preach. Shortly afterwards we then sit together and constructively criticise what we've said/heard. As there is a group of six of us this basically means that for six of the Sundays this term and next we are absent from our attachment churches. With each term being so short it feels like I've hardly been at St Georges this term.

It went well. I learnt that when I give examples of things I should make them a bit more anonymous, and a little less personal, so that there is less chance of being unintentionally misunderstood ("aren't I great" is never a good feeling to broadcast from the pulpit). I was also paid a great compliment by my tutor. Which was nice. And I'll resist the temptation to tell you what it was, because it's never good to use your position to say "aren't I great"!!

On balance, a very positive, affirming experience.

"Poor C Staircase, locked up in a cell"

2009-12-11T09:37:00.000-08:00

Apologies to Tim Rice for ripping off his lyrics there....

It's been a bit busy these last few days of term since timetabled activities finished and lots of other things crept in. So I now have a backlog of things to write about, as well as trying to finish off the essays that are due in soon. But I can only read so many books in a day before I need to do something else, and writing this is a welcome alternative.

About a week ago we had 'College Quiet Day', where each staircase group does something quiet and reflective for a day, instead of hiding in studies. Last year we went to Coventry Cathedral, new haunt of Bishop Chris Cocksworth, former Ridley Principal. This year students and spouses alike* jumped on the train at Cambridge station and got off at Norwich. There we enjoyed a nice wander around Norwich Cathedral, stopping off in a side chapel for a contemplation of Psalm 23.

After which we had a guided tour and lunch at a 'New Frontiers' church, where none of my female colleagues were bold enough to enquire as to their opinions on the role of women in church leadership. That aside, this is a great example of a church with vision, engaging in the community by running a cafe and conference centre in the week and using for themselves. The profits from the business more than pay for the running costs of the buildings, allowing them the funds to further expand their ministry into other areas of Norwich.

Finally, we visited the Julian Centre, where Julian of Norwich withdrew from the worldly life in the 1500's, living in solitude in her cell for most of her long life. After observing the interesting juxtaposition of nativity animals (left) we then tried not to giggle as we were told the story of Julian. Once we had calmed down , we spent 20 minutes in a led meditation / breathing exercise in Julian's cell. Except it wasn't really her cell, as the building was flattened in WWII, and when it was rebuilt it was made bigger, with a doorway brought in from somewhere else, a bigger window, different floor etc, etc..... Not that this distracted me at the time. I was still thinking of the nativity scene.

And then it was back home for tea.

Thanks to Fred for the pictures.

* The stomach bug which was ravaging the college at the time prevented 2 students and 1 wife from attending. Which left Tash as the sole spouse representative!

Curacy and curiouser

2009-11-25T08:31:00.000-08:00

Just a quick update.

Old Diocese and New Diocese are exchanging correspondence about me and nobody in New Diocese can find anything in them to 'cause concern'. That's a good sign!

I have an appointment to meet my New Bishop in a couple of weeks time. This will be a formal interview, a bit of 'getting to know you' but definitely more than a cup of tea and a fireside chat. It's also the final step in securing the job.

All is well.

Progress Report

2009-11-14T13:48:00.001-08:00

Things went well on Thursday. We both got on well with the vicar, she (for a lady she is) wants us to go there, we want to go there, so it's pretty much a deal. We've held off a couple of days since the visit, just in case either side had second thoughts, but we didn't.

However, there are some formalities to go through yet with the local churches, the diocese and the Bishop, so I'm not yet able to go public and share details with you. If you phone me up and ask me I'll tell you, but it's not going on Facebook or this blog until we've got the official nod. It's not a million miles from Ferndown, and within spitting distance of my 'old' diocese.

It's a bit strange how quickly our perceptions change. A month ago Salisbury was 'my' diocese (and technically remains so until I finish at Ridley and they finish supporting me in June), but now a different Diocese has appeared on my internet favourites list. I still have allegiances to several past and current churches, but for the last 18 months I've never been too sure who is my vicar - now suddenly somebody has a 'my new boss/vicar' label and when I get new ideas I start making mental plans for how that might look applied to this new location.

And so you'll have to wait a bit longer to find out. But we know where we're going with enough certainty to start contacting schools and to get measured for wax jackets and green wellies. You'll have to phone my mum to find out.

Balance

2009-11-09T02:27:00.000-08:00

There's a bit of a conflict going on in me at the moment. Trying to balance academic work with the job search is a bit of a struggle.

This Thursday me and Tash will be visiting a parish in the South-West, spending a day with the vicar and trying to work out if it:
(a) could be a good working relationship
(b) could be somewhere that we feel we could live and work
(c) is going to throw up anything unexpected

I'm trying to prepare myself by coming up with all sorts of questions that I want to ask, and trying to anticipate what is going to be asked of me. After I'd written my own list I then looked at the handy list provided by the college, which just made my list even longer. Hopefully the day won't merely consist of us each asking the questions off of pieces of paper.

And this is all distracting me from the work I need to do to keep my head above water in this terms disciplines of Doctrine and Ethics. Lots of reading to do, not only for the weekly seminars, but now also the essay deadlines loom about 6 weeks away....

Making progress

2009-11-02T05:46:00.001-08:00

It's interesting how you make decisions based on sketchy information and then change them when you find out more. We've been looking at the details of four different curacies over the last 2 weeks - some of which we knew little about at the point of first contact, others for which we had a full 20 page 'Parish Profile'.

As time has gone on and I've gradually got the same level of information about each one the mental priorities we've had have been constantly adjusting up and down. Two parishes that we thought we liked the sound of turns out not to be so great, one that I'd love to be in hasn't responded as yet (so I can assume that someone else has been offered that one. And the one I wasn't sure about initially is now looking very interesting and wants to talk to me more.

So now I need to arrange a date to visit a friendly vicar, to go and find out if we think we can work together and to get a feel for the area and the churches. If we both like each other, everybody will be happy. My initial phone conversation was encouraging, so let's see what happens.

Curacy News

2009-10-23T15:53:00.000-07:00

Things are looking OK on the curacy front. I've been in touch with a friendly bishop who has some interesting places that I could look at.

You have to be related to me to find out more. Or if you're at Ridley you can believe the rumours. Or if you're a former CYFA member you'll remember our unoffical mascot.

That's all I'm going to say for now.

One Year On - Remembering Mark

2009-10-23T15:33:00.000-07:00

It's a year today since Mark Autherson died*. So when we met as a staircase group for prayers this morning I took the opportunity to remember Mark, and to offer the opportunity for people to light a candle in memory of people they have loved and lost.

I used music and pictures alongside the first part of Psalm 139, a piece of prose, and some prayers from the Anglican funeral and memorial services. I wasn't prepared for the raw emotions that would surface, and while I had warned people that it would be quiet and reflective I should also have told them to bring tissues and waterproof make-up.

I used the song 'Perfect Sacrifice' by Trent Vineyard's worship band 'Trent' (go to i-tunes, search for the song title, then buy the whole live album!). Listen to the words carefully - the song was written after the sudden death of a church member, and talks of the continuing hope that his widow had in Jesus, at a time when she could either have run from God or run to Him. Christians believe in life after death - death is just a horizon that we can't see beyond, and it's not something we need to be afraid of.

*see my entry from October 24th 2008

Deacon Blue

2009-10-17T03:51:00.000-07:00

Deacon: It was the turn of 'C' staircase's to organise the weekly College Communion service this week. Whilst others took on the roles of music, prayer, readings and techie stuff, I chose to be deacon. Which means that I stuck on a cassock and angel wings, stood at the front and led the service, apart from the bits that I'm not yet qualified to do. All went swimmingly, it all knitted together really well, and I was floating on air for 24 hours

Blue: Then the Saturday morning post arrived, and in it was a letter from my Bishop, informing me that I have been 'Released'. This means that Salisbury Diocese (from whence I was sent) have been unable to match me and my training needs with a curacy post in a suitable Salisbury parish. So now I'm free to explore other options in any one of 43 other English dioceses. But I won't be coming back to Salisbury as a curate next year. That doesn't rule a return out after that, nor does it mean I can't go back in the meantime (for example, were any of my former youth group to want me to marry them that would be possible). But it does mean that next year might be shaped quite differently from how we had expected. And that's just completely thrown us.

Firstly, Saturday was a bit wierd. We both spent a lot of time on the phone and texting. For me it was a case of getting in touch with people who have been through the process recently or who know how this all works or who might know somebody who knows somebody who knows a friendly bishop. For Tash it was a case of leaning on her support network. It was just a constant barrage of phones, ringtones and text beeps!

Secondly, until something like this happens you don't realise how much you had been building your future on certain assumptions. I had assumed my ordination would be in Salisbury, which would have made it at the end of September, meaning we have a relatively leisurely move, set up house, start job, dawdle through the summer, get ordained. But most dioceses ordain in early July, so we could now be facing a really hectic June....

Now I start the next part of the process, but I’m not alone. I’ve just set up a photo map at college where we can see who has a job confirmed, and who hasn’t yet. At the moment there are only 5 people out of 30 who know for definite what is happening. I’m in good company with the other 25.

What happens next? I could sit back and wait, looking occasionally in the folder at college where all the vacancies are advertised – something which I have been doing casually over the last few weeks, just for practice so I can get a feel of reading about different churches and working out which ones appeal. Now I have to do that for real, and actually decide which ones do appeal, and if they still appeal when I realise where they are! Or I can be a bit more pro-active, and use my network of contacts to find out about things before they get to that folder. I’ve already done a bit of that and I’m waiting for some phone calls.

I’m afraid I’m going to have to be a bit cagey about places and churches now until I’ve got something sorted. We will have to visit places and decide whether or not we like them. It wouldn’t be fair to name somewhere and then tell you we’ve rejected it. So you’ll not know where I’ve looked, but you will know where I’ve finally settled on. Eventually.

Shipwrecked and Comatose

2009-10-13T14:45:00.000-07:00

Red Dwarf fans will recognise the cultural reference here. It's exactly how I feel.

Somewhat prophetically my Facebook status this morning was: "Stephen wants to lie shipwrecked and comatose drinking fresh mango juice". Little did I realise how accurate that was going to be.

With the lecture timetable having finally kicked in I'm now getting accustomed to the rhythm of life for the next 8 weeks. This started last Thursday - with nothing timetabled for me. Friday had a couple of hours of 'Life and Service', where we looked at the content, shape and flow of the Communion service. Then it was the weekend!!

So far so good, not too stressful, and Monday continues that theme, where it's the afternoon before I settle down for a couple of hours of 'Christian Doctrine', in which we'll examine key areas of what Christianity actually believes. And that's where the fun stops.

Tuesdays are going to be my worst day, where I have a bit of every single module. Ethics, followed by double Gospel and Western Culture, followed by a Doctrine seminar, followed by Life and Service. There are breaks and lunch built in there somewhere, but during the afternoon sessions I was observed by my companions being comatose for short periods. It probably didn't help that in Doctrine we were talking about a particularly difficult passage by Archbishop Rowan Williams which very few of us had been able to make any sense of - thankfully the lecturers were struggling with it as much as us.

This evening I've been preparing the service for this week's College Communion where I'm helping lead the service. It's kept me out of trouble, as I sit on the sofa whilst Tash watches a film - the film seemed to fly past in five minutes as I grappled with the various liturgical options available to me....

Wednesdays look like they're going to be interesting - Gospel and Western Culture seminars and Double Ethics!

Score your vicar

2009-10-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

It's been a bit of a quiet week this first week of term, which has meant that we've had time to complete a little project. The jokes might not mean much to you if you're outside the Ridley community of course, but there are potential applications of the candle technology in churches up and down the land.

Read carefully

2009-10-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

This article caught my eye, because out of the corner of my eye I saw its title as 'Return to form for Rowan Williams'.

I wondered what the Boss has done now that warrants compliments from the BBC. It's only when I clicked on it that I realised I hadn't read it correctly.

It's still an interesting article though. Robbie's lyrics are usually laden with spiritual references - his album "Escapology" was a rich resource in my youth-work days a couple of years ago. 'Something Beautiful' brought us "You won't be lost hurt, tired and lonely, something beautiful will come your way", and 'Feel' offered "I don't want to die but I ain't keen on living either". Robbie asks the big questions.

The current single 'Bodies' from his latest offering is no exception. Robbie sings "if Jesus really died for me, then Jesus really tried for me". Spot on Robbie. Although later there is evidence that Robbie has rejected this when he replaces that with "Jesus didn't die for me".

In his authorised biography 'Feel' Robbie tells that he is constantly bombarded with correspondence from Christians who are trying to convert him. It's hardly a surprise when his songs are so full of his own spiritual search.

Safe to publish

2009-09-25T02:13:00.001-07:00

I haven't written anything like this before because I thought I was being stereotypical and unfair, and in my new job I'm meant to challenge and demolish stereotypes. However, a conversation with one of the new students revealed that he has had similar experiences, so it must be true.

Soundbites of Cambridge:

1. Overheard following a well heeled family in the town centre, hovering near a tea room: "Mater, shall we venture inside this establishment? Tarquin rather fancies some tiffin". Translation: Mum, I'm just going to get some fridge cake"

2. While punting on the Cam, the day after exam results were out, the general sound was:
"Fwah, fwah, fwah, SPLASH. (pause) oh, Rupert! Pass the Pims"

Some things will never change. Cambridge, I love your ambience, but I'd find it really quite difficult to live with you permanently. You're just not my type.

Year 2 beckons

2009-09-25T02:01:00.001-07:00

It's almost time to stop writing about 'what I did in my holidays' (although, just like school, I do have to do a presentation on that very subject) because it's nearly october, so it must be time to go back to Ridley!

However, the Back To School sales finished long ago. Because it's nearly Christmas. I will never get used to these Cambridge micro-terms. Mad. And traditional. Harder to change than the Church of England.

Over the last few weeks we've been meeting the first years who have been drifting into Cambridge and turning up to various social events. At first I found it hard to answer the question "What year are you in?", as I still felt like a first year. But as I've now answered the question enough times, or others have answered it for me, I can confidently say that I'm a second year. And that means it's also my final year.

I've looked at my course options and confirmed that they're not really options, in that having had no prior theological education I have to take the core modules, the plain vanilla option for the course. I do get a choice of which term I study the Old Testament in, and I do want to do one extra course which everybody recommends. The only question remaining for me now is one of assessment. I don't have to be assessed in all the courses in order to pass the course. So I'm looking carefully at the essay titles - if I understand the title now, before I start, I've got a good chance on that essay. If on the other hand the titles wash over me like Mr Bean talking I think I'll choose differently.

Still waiting patiently for the Bishop to drop any hints about a job though... Lord Bishop, if you're reading this - hello!

Holy Bones Batman!

2009-09-21T08:40:00.000-07:00

I'm a little confused. Some of the bones of St Therese are currently touring the UK in order that those who believe that the relic will heal may touch them and be healed.

I have a few problems with this.

1. If you believe that God can supernaturally heal an illness (and I do, having heard enough modern day evidence for it from trusted friends) then why do you need to rely on channeling this belief through a long dead person's remains?

2. You can't actually touch the bones. They're enclosed in a casket, so the nearest you can get to actually touching them is the box they're in. So does the box have the healing powers, or the bones, or the box but only when it's got the bones in it?

3. Due to swine flu precautions you can't touch the box, or as is more traditionally done, kiss the box in case you catch or transmit swine flu. So, you've gone to be healed of something, believing God will heal you, but you can't kiss the relic in case it makes you ill.........

I'm not sure which to treat with more contempt - the healing properties of a bit of bone, or the complete over-reaction we're having to swine flu.

Calendars

2009-09-19T13:10:00.000-07:00

As I was thinking about my old job earlier today I realized that there are many small changes in your life that accumulate over time to make a huge contrast. Today’s small change was calendar related.

For some strange reason I was thinking about how we reckon time. In a couple of days when the solistice comes it will officially be Autumn. In my old Project Managers head the end of September was always ‘week 39’ – each quarter of the year was 13 weeks long, so I always knew that the end of March was wk 13, June was wk26, Sept was wk39, Dec (obviously) was wk52. We rarely scheduled things according to the actual date – usually we knew how many weeks tasks took, so we worked things out that way, much easier than working with months of variable length. Weeks tended to ‘start’ on a Monday, unless you were using a particular piece of bespoke planning software, which for some reason known only by some bean counters in Eindhoven had the week starting on Saturday.

So to most people today is Saturday September 19th, but to my old self it was wk37.6, and to me now it is also the 7th Day of Trinity 15. All clear? No? Read on!

For a few fleeting months last summer I was able to work to the normal calendar, before getting swept into a combination of the Cambridge academic calendar where 3 brief bouts of work called ‘Michaelmas’, ‘Lent’ and ‘Hilary’ (no idea, sorry!) are punctuated by long periods of apparent inactivity, and the Church (or ‘liturgical’) calendar, in which the year begins somewhere around the end of November.

As my life is shortly to be dominated by the liturgical calendar, here’s a potted summary.
The year starts with Advent, 4 Sundays before Christmas, which tends to hover around the last few days of November/first few days of December. So that Sunday is ‘Advent 1’ and is followed by Advent 2, Advent 3, Advent 4 and Christmas Day (which isn’t necessarily a Sunday of course). It’s nice and easy for me now that my week starts on a Sunday. Except of course I might end up having a day off on Monday or Tuesday, in which case it’s almost over before it’s started. But here in Cambridge for me the only day that’s truly a day off is Saturday, so it’s nice and neat for the moment.

After Christmas Day most clergy collapse in a heap, take a week off and rejoice that New Year is not a church festival. But the calendar plunges on relentlessly, through ‘Christmas 1’ and ‘Christmas 2’ (yes, the Twelve Days of Christmas come from us!) to Epiphany in early January, and then (I guess you’re getting the hang of this now) through to Epiphany 4 before it’s Ordinary Time.

Yes, plain old vanilla Ordinary Time, which is what the church calls it when it can’t think of a better name. This pads the gaps in the calendar – sometimes well, sometimes pathetically as was the case in 2008 when the gap between Epiphany and Lent was a whole two days. More Ordinary Time later.

Lent begins 40 days (not counting Sundays) before Easter Day, which moves about through March and April* and takes us through Lent 1 to Lent 5. Lent 6 is called Palm Sunday, and then it’s Holy Week and Easter. After Easter most clergy collapse in a heap, take a week off and rejoice that the next church festival isn’t for another 8 weeks.

So that takes us through to Easter 7, followed by Pentecost in late May/early June. A sporting fact about Pentecost is that the Monaco Grand Prix is always held that weekend. We’re always ancouraged to wear red for Pentecost, and it’s difficult to not be mistaken for a Ferrari fan.

Now we find ourselves back in Ordinary Time with the Sunday which gives its name to the most Sundays in the year, Trinity Sunday – our annual opportunity to preach sermons about ice, water and steam being of one substance but of different appearances, a bit like God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Nearly there now, as we’ve not managed to invent anything major to celebrate for the next 21-23 weeks. Either that or somebody decided that as everybody would be on holiday around now there was no point. So we now plod our way through Trinity 2 to Trinity 23, although prayer book writers always seem to be reluctant to write specific prayers to use on Trinity 22 and 23 as they won’t be used very often. You may notice that in these weeks some of the standard prayers sound quite a lot like the ones from Trinity 21….

Actually Trinity 21 is quite popular for Church of England prayer book writers – if there’s ever an occasion when they were lacking inspiration or couldn’t be bothered they will refer you to the Collect (Special Prayer) for Trinity 21.

So that’s the top level view of the church year. I used to moan as a Project Manager that major milestones always had a tendency to slip towards Easter, Christmas or the holiday periods. Now I’m going to be working where that’s an unavoidable fact.

*There’s a formula relating the date of Easter to the ‘n’th Full Moon of the calendar year, invented by some Pope or other. Yes, it would be easier to have a fixed week for it, but it’s not worth falling out over.

A slightly different wedding

2009-09-16T05:56:00.000-07:00

Watch this wedding video. Who says the bride's entrance has to be formal?

Restoring Prayer

2009-09-07T07:44:00.000-07:00

This last weekend there was a Very Special Event at Ridley - the Simeon Centre's first conference - 'Restoring Prayer' - ready for birth after a two years gestation.

The marquee returned to the Ridley lawn and between Thursday and Sunday over 300 delegates gathered, hearing addresses from (amongst others) Eugene Peterson, the author of 'The Message', a contemporary paraphrase of the Bible, and Alistair McGrath, one of the few theologians that Richard Dawkins will lower himself to talk to. A varied programme of worship, addresses and seminars had been put together by a dedicated team from Ridley's Simeon Centre, and was supported by Ridley staff (my tutor was Eugene's chaffeur!) and students past and present.

As one of about 60 volunteers I got to go to anything I wanted to for free, and it's not often you get to hear the names on your bookshelf speak, so when I wasn't on duty setting things up or tearing them down I turned up to as much as I could and started to practice my note taking technique ready for the resumption of college in 3 weeks time!

Attention for me now turns to the small matter of writing a sermon for next Sunday when I return to my placement at Histon, and I start to think about the report and presentation on the placement which I need to get out of the way before term starts.

The conference organisers now have a chance to catch their breath, and possibly a little sleep.

"The answers my friend are blowing in the wind..."

2009-09-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

Have I just quoted Bob Dylan there? Dunno. Don't really care.

Part Two of my summer/autumn holiday in Wales reflects on two aspects of Creation. That's Creation as in The Created Universe, not the verb, as I had neither the time, equipment or the inclination to attempt to rival what God's already done. I couldn't fit it in the car.

A couple of nights were clear enough for me to be able to go outside and marvel at the stars and planets. Although we were only three miles from the nearest town we were shielded from the glow of artificial light by the surrounding landscape, so you only needed to be outdoors for a couple of minutes before you could see the Milky Way. Look, there it is.

Click on the picture so it enlarges and the white haze that you can see is the Milky Way. I took that picture myself. No the stars aren't out of focus - in the 2 minute exposure the earth rotated enough that the stars leave a trail on the picture...

The second mountain was definitely climbed on purpose. This time we had proper shoes, fleeces, waterproofs, and most importantly a flask! We climbed Lord Hereford's Knob (I kid you not!) at a more leisurely pace than Isaac's usual, and it was so worth it. Truly panoramic views, and a ferocious wind that reminds you of its power. It's not uncommon to refer to the Holy Spirit as being like wind - I think people would be truly astounded and in no doubt what it was if experiencing it was anything like this.

Theologians often speak of people having 'mountaintop experiences'. My particular experience on this occasion included laughter at not being able to stand up in the wind, amusement at a teenage strop, and amazement at the view laid out all around me. God created all of it - even the teenage strop....

The Lost Sheep Climbs Every Mountain

2009-09-02T13:40:00.000-07:00

One of the distinct advantages of being (nearly) clergy is that little things pop up out of the woodwork, like the opportunity to enjoy a holiday at a substantial discount. Even if that means you have to go to the middle of nowhere o'clock in Wales.

Wales should market itself as being ahead of the times - we left England enjoying its summer and found Wales was already into autumn weather. This meant that Tasha could enjoy using the Aga in the cottage. Not only does an Aga provide a constant source of heat, meaning that a kettle boils in a fraction of the normal time and that the building is permanently toasty (you could wander around in swimwear inside even if you couldn't outside), but it also burns an incredible amount of oil at the landlord's expense!

With no TV, Playstation or Wii the only entertainment was board games, books and jigsaws and we had a lovely week together as a familywithout the usual technological distrcations, although Beth's initial enthusiasm for her 1000 piece challenge wore off after the first time, leaving me and Isaac to complete it under more and more pressure as the week wore on.

One day we hired two-man canoes and paddled for 5 miles down the River Hay between Glasbury and Hay-On-Wye. I think Tasha and Beth did more teamwork in their boat - Isaac was a passenger for much of my trip, but was enjoying it anyway. We went past ducks and swans and the girls spotted kingfishers, which are really speedy!

We also climbed mountains. The first time was an accident - we were driving around in the late afternoon, stopped at a car park to look at the view, and before we knew it Isaac had gone in the opposite direction determined to 'climb that mountain'. Not taking him seriously we gave him a bit of freedom, until I realised that he had gone past the easy lower slope and wasn't turning back. By the time I had reached the same point in hot pursuit I was already exhausted and 15 minutes behind him. People coming in the opposite direction in their full waterproofs and sensible hiking boots, seeing me dressed in trainers, T-shirt and shorts were warning me that the weather was about to turn. But turing back wasn't an option, as I had to retrieve my lost sheep. The Oxford English Dictionary defines a mountain as "a natural elevation of the earth surface rising more or less abruptly from the surrounding level and attaining an altitude which, relatively to the adjacent elevation, is impressive or notable.". Let me assure you that this particular mountain met all those criteria. It's just that I couldn't really appreciate that as I was breathlessly ascending its abrupt elevations. In fact I probably set some sort of record in my ascent - I've never gone upwards under my own propulsion so fast. The picture at the top of the article doesn't do justice to it - it's 200 metres up from that point, pretty much at 45 degrees most of the way. And when I got to the top of the path the Lost Sheep was nowhere in sight. He'd gone off in search of the actual top of the mountain, and re-appeared after a couple of minutes having obviously found the triangulation point at the summit. He was ready to run back down and couldn't understand why I needed five minutes rest before going back down. I was 'slightly' annoyed with him for wandering off on his own, but also quietly impressed that he was pleased with himself for climbing a mountain all on his own.

Jesus lets us have the freedom to do what we want. If we run off up some mountain of our own he doesn't stop us. In Matthew Chapter 18 he tells the story of the Lost Sheep, putting himself as the shepherd.

Verses 12-14 (The Message) "Look at it this way. If someone has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders off, doesn't he leave the ninety-nine and go after the one? And if he finds it, doesn't he make far more over it than over the ninety-nine who stay put? Your Father in heaven feels the same way. He doesn't want to lose even one of these simple believers.

You might be one of those lost sheep who has wandered far away from the path that Jesus would have you on - but he still searches for you and wants to greet you when you are ready to be found.

And He can get up a mountain faster than I can.

A-Maize-ing Grace

2009-08-20T14:52:00.000-07:00

After our London trip we've managed a few days lazing in the garden, reading books, doing Sudoku, reading more books, doing a jigsaw puzzle. The pattern of the day is getting a little tedious. So yesterday we had a change of scene - a day by Lammas Land paddling pool in Cambridge, not far from Ridley. I exercised some brain cells by exchanging a few books in the college library and saw a couple of familiar faces for a chat - the ways in which the summer holidays are being filled is as varied as the number of ordinands! Some students are about to embark on an MA course and consequently have just had an intensive 2 week summer school, with a full-on program of lectures and reading. That's a bit too extreme a contrast to my current lifestyle for my liking, so I'll stick with 'predictable-if-a-bit-dull' for a few more weeks.

Today was a return to familiar territory - the Milton Maize Maze, where we were hosting SPICE (the partners group). Looking back I find an article I wrote about the Maize Maze on Sept 5th 2008 a few weeks after we arrived, where we were the new family meeting the old hands. Fast forward a year and we 've switched positions. We spent a couple of hours meeting Jodie and her family, and Mark sent his family even if he couldn't be there. Jodie arrived in Cambridge earlier this week and needed the break from unpacking, and Mark will be arriving soon. Us former first years are beginning to realise that people will be looking to us as their seniors in a few weeks time.

Some of us wandered around the maize maze while others sat and chatted about life as an ordinand('s spouse). The maze is planted with a different pattern every year, and is a fleeting temporary thing - in a few weeks it will be harvested and turned into animal feed.

Ridley too has a different set of people each year - we were constantly being told that our year was 'more lively' and 'less serious' than the previous first year - and in a few months we too will be turned out and fed to the waiting masses!

Up Deptford Creek with a rabble

2009-08-20T14:25:00.000-07:00

Continuing the latest in our series of "What do trainee vicars do in their holidays?", here's the latest installment, which could be easily entitled "What else can we do for free?"

With Bethany packed off on a coach back to Shepton Mallet for Soul Survivor we had 2 options:

Take advantage of our relative North-ness and go a bit further North for a few days camping near York, do the Railway Museum, the Yorvik centre, North York Moors Railway etc.

Go to London and do the Science Museum and anything else we can think of.

With the weather forecast looking dodgy, Eboracum being three times further away than Londinium (and therefore costing three times as much in diesel), and knowing of free accomodation in Deptford we went for the second option.

24 hours later the not-quite-newly ordained Rev. Jane Yeadon was welcoming us back to her Creek Road pad, this time with unpacking completed, pictures on the wall and cat installed.

We mastered Oyster cards and spent a day enjoying the Science Museum (well, Isaac and I enjoyed it whilst Tasha did a load of crosswords). We stumbled across the Albert Hall, which is so big that it is perfectly possible to walk past without noticing it is there, and enjoyed a cup of tea and a chocolate muffin in the Diana Memorial Playground whilst observing London life and different styles of parenting. For example, when Isaac plays in sand and water we tell him to wait until his feet are dry then to brush them off before putting his socks and shoes back on. Others have a complete change of clothes, bottles of water specially reserved for washing feet, towels, the works. I guess it allows them to exhibit Jesus-like behaviour in washing feet, but what a hassle!!

The following day we ascended the tower of Deptford St Nicholas and marvelled at the panoramic view before returning to ground level, Greenwich Maritime Museum and Greenwich Observatory.

Returning home our car accidentally ended up in the car park of a certain Swedish furniture retailer but luckily we managed to emerge only with some meatballs inside us, a few packs of batteries and a picture frame.

The trip to York will have to wait for another day.

New Whine

2009-08-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

Ater our return from Ferndown we had a few days at home, before preparing for one of the major events of the summer, the family trip to New Wine - a Christian festival/conference for families.

We had heard reports that the previous week at Shepton Mallet (it runs for 2 weeks there, one at Newark) had not been the best weather-wise. As in it had tipped down pretty much continuously, some camping areas had been flooded and moved to the car park. More than slight drizzle. Upon arrival on Sunday 2nd August we weren't particularly encouraged to find that our camping area had been moved. Previously 'Green 2' we were now to report to 'Yellow 3'. But we drove past 'Green 2' on the way to 'Yellow', and found that our group was camping there anyway, as Yellow had already filled up (and actually over the coming few days looked worse than Green anyway!).

So, having set-up camp we now had time to re-acquaint ourselves with our 43 other friends from Ferndown over the course of the next seven days, which was largely done via the medium of wine, beer, brandy, nuts, crisps and biscuits.

New Wine has two main worship meetings per day. The first choice you have to make is whether you are a Venue One or Venue Two person, as the event is so big that there isn't a marquee big enough to hold everybody in one place (ignoring the vast Big Top that's going up in the field behind for Soul Survivor). Here's a handy guide:

Venue One: like worshipping in an aircraft hangar. I'm sure there was a discarded Vulcan bomber in a corner. Think of a Party Conference with bright colours, rows of cut flowers on the edge of the stage, hosts cheesily nice in nice comfortable polo shirts and safe haircuts. Music is acoustic gee-tars, pianos and muted drum kits. And my favourite - 'Worship Barbie' - a blonde female singer who sings squeakily and jumps randomly. Always spare seats.

Venue Two: More like worshipping in the kitchen that's the best place at the party. No cut flowers, hosts in black and grey with stubble. Music is all electric and the drummer wouldn't know what muffling is! Often a struggle to find either grey hair or a seat, even after all have 'scooched' up to fill empty gaps.

Suffice to say that we bought the CD of the band ('Trent') that was playing in Venue Two!

While the adults do Venues, the children have their own fantastic age-specific groups to attend, and with our children being 9 and 13 we only really had to entertain them for 5 hours in the afternoon, and they're old enough to go and come back themselves. Great!

Unfortunately, theological students are a nightmare at places like this. Over the last year I've learnt to reflect on various situations. This can also be translated as 'criticise'. I'm not sure if I'm pleased with myself that I now look at song lyrics and dissect them, saying things like "this verse doesn't mean anything, it's just a load of thoughts stuck together because they rhyme". Maybe that's good, maybe it's not. Tasha got a bit bored of me wrinkling my nose at things, whether it be leadership style, content or theology of speakers. But the church would be boring if we all did things exactly the same, and New Wine is a place where people can explore their boundaries and influences.

Another side effect of this education is that when speakers refer to the original Greek text of the new Testament I get heads turning towards me asking me to confirm if that's true. I don't know! I translated 5 chapters of John, I didn't memorise the whole flippin' book!!!

The weather was grotty for the first 3 or 4 days. The rain built on the previous week, and mud became sloppier and sloppier, before it finally became sunny on Thursday and things started to dry out, although the ground never became truly solid - there was always a squelch underfoot somewhere.

A return home on Sunday to a roast dinner prepared by our house-sitters, a hot shower and a soft bed was most welcome. As I write this Bethany is preparing to go back to Shepton Mallet tomorrow for 5 days at Soul Survivor. Hopefully the ground has dried further, as the forecast is for more rain.

Light of the world

2009-08-11T07:35:00.000-07:00

A former colleague texted me to ask what trainee vicars get up to in the holidays. I referred him to this blog, only for him to reply that I haven't written anything for 3 weeks. Whoops!

So, I'm still waiting for news from the bishop, but lots has happened since then. Let me tell you in several easy chunks, starting with my reason for being back in the south three weeks ago.

A few years ago, my children were in the local dancing school, First Position School of Dance (Google it if you live in Bournemouth!), which was about to do its first ever stage production. They were looking for somebody to do the stage lighting, which was a dormant hobby of mine, so I was volunteered for it. I must have done a good job, as I've done each major show since! And I must have done well this time as I'm now having to ponder my availability another two years hence.

As I'm on university terms my summer holiday this year is over three months long, and things like this serve several purposes:

Keeps me off the streets
Gets the family back 'home' to see old friends
It's a cheap holiday. On top of my grant from Salisbury I receive a rather generous 'long vacation' allowance of just over £300, which presumably is meant to cover the cost of a family holiday - I'll probably spend that in petrol costs this summer!

So I spent most of the week in a darkened theatre programming a computerised lighting desk, taking part in over-running Technical and Dress Rehearsals, and four performances, along the way providing a Wogan-style commentary to the crew on the backstage headsets. By the final performance all the lights were perfect!

Along the way I renewed old friendships, and had an amazing number of conversations with these people, who when I last worked with them had no idea of the turn my life was about to take. As one old gentleman said "you don't meet many people in your line of work these days" (by which he meant people who were in training for the Ministry). People are fascinated by what I'm doing, and joked about wanting to come to my church if services were going to be technologically anything like what I'd just accomplished.

Well I can't promise that, as not many churches have the budget to have amazing lighting (but if I found one that did, I'd use it to help focus attention on proceedings, appropriately without distracting from the main purpose of worship). But many places do have more technology than you realise. Before I left St Mary's Ferndown we had upgraded the vision system from a 'simple' projector based song-words set-up to a multi-monitor, multi-location camera based set-up, allowing better sight of what was happening at the front/back/sides - wherever the action was taking place, enhancing the worship experience for all. But again, if technology is overused in worship it becomes distracting, so the key is understanding what the limits are - what your congregation can cope with - and this will vary depending on what the service is!

When I know where I'll end up I'll maybe have further chances in the technology department. Maybe I'll be somewhere where a radio microphone is cutting-edge.....

False Alarm!

2009-07-22T12:37:00.000-07:00

I had an e-mail yesterday inviting me to make an appointment with the Bishop. As I'm currently in his vicinity I wasted no time in making a phone call, and was pleasantly surprised to find myself in his study 7 hours later!

We'd spent all day speculating about which exotic Wilts/Dorset location he might be asking me to consider, but unfortunately we're still none the wiser. That's because I've got a really good bishop!

As I might have mentioned before, we have to fill in a fairly limited tick-box form, which tells him very little about us. So the purpose of today's meeting was for him to hear what I want out of my first placing from my mouth, not from a form. Now we've done that he's in a much better position to match me to a suitable parish and vicar than he was this morning.

The wait continues, and I now expect to hear from him again at the end of August!

Four Croissants and a Funeral

2009-07-17T14:56:00.000-07:00

The title seems to be a fairly accurate summary of the last seven days. The final week of my summer placement seems to have been mainly one of food, although there have been other highlights:

Monday - Deanery Synod (yawn) - cup of tea and a plate of biscuits
Tuesday - a pre-funeral visit, preceded by a McDonalds lunch (offering value for money!), and a 'Council of Churches' meeting where the refreshments were notable by their total absence.
Wednesday - 'Essence' - a cafe church where at least 2 if not 3 of the aforementioned croissants were consumed.
Thursday - Men's Group, with a cup of tea (but no biscuits), and a Marriage Preparation Review Meeting (with Dot's 'Lavender Cake')
Friday - 'Thirst' - another cafe church (technically not part of my placement, but my stomach doesn't care), followed by the funeral, followed by an interesting combination of crumpets and baked beans.
And tomorrow morning I round it all off with a prayer breakfast.

More tea vicar?

EDIT: Saturday morning - the prayer breakfast brought the tally to 5 croissants!

Where are you going to be working?

2009-07-08T15:02:00.000-07:00

...is a question that I'm being asked increasingly.

And the honest answer to that - at the moment - is "I don't know". But I might know soon.

The Church of England has a process for allocating the outgoing ordinands to suitable training posts - curacies - and this process is just starting to kick into effect.

Just before the end of term I had to fill in a form stating my preferences (type of church, location, personal requirements etc). It was tempting to put my standard post-gig demands here - a crateful of chilled Carlsberg and a flock of nuns mopping my fevered brow in the vestry - but unfortunately I think it was after more practical stuff such as housing needs. At the same time the staff and Principal were writing a report on me that by now has gone to my Bishop.

The default position for all candidates is that our 'sending' diocese has first call on our services, and until they say that they have no position for us ('releasing' us) we have to work on that assumption. So around about now the cogs are turning in Salisbury to try to match my preferences with curacy opportunities that Bishops David, Stephen and Graham have in mind, taking into consideration anything flagged up in my college report as a specific development need. Shortly I'll hear from the Diocesan Director of Ordinands, and will be asked to visit the parish that they have in mind. Which could be almost anywhere in Dorset or Wiltshire.

Then we'll arrange a visit, probably over the course of a weekend, and will have to assess whether we think it will work or not. Both sides can say 'yes' or 'no'. If both are positive, we have a result. If either are negative we see if the diocese has anything else in mind. If they do, we try somewhere else. If not, I'm released and we go national, and there's a whole other bit of process for that.

Of course, I might not be able to tell you anything more for ages - we've got a busy summer ahead of us so it's going to be a while before we can visit anywhere - and even if it does all work out first time there are going to be formalities to go through before I can write about it....

Jane's ordination - Every Little Helps

2009-06-29T03:27:00.000-07:00

As Roy Castle once sang:

"Ordination, Ordination, Ordination,
That's what you need"

And so the family decamped to deepest darkest Deptford for the weekend to support Jane at her ordination. Jane was on my staircase, a good friend and a free babysitter who liked lying on a real sofa in a real house every once in a while.

We drove down to her house in Deptford, picked up the keys from her vicar, Steve, and helped ourselves to her house. At this point it might help to understand that the last few days before your ordination are spent 'on retreat' away from the distractions of everyday life, in order to allow you to prepare properly for the life-changing ordination day. One distraction that Jane had was her post-ordination party. As a single lady she had to think long and hard about how she was going to find a 'wife' to sort this out for her, so the plan that evolved was this:

We, and another family, would spend the Saturday evening in her house, waiting in to receive the online supermarket order of party food that she had placed before leaving.
All would then go to Southwark Cathedral on Sunday morning to attend the ordination (except for Beth and Isaac who would be taken off in London by their uncle for the day)
Upon return from the Cathedral it would be all hands on deck to get the food out onto the tables.
Party starts, everybody happy.

The plan started to fall apart at step zero, on the Friday night, when I got a text from the other family saying that their car had broken down and they wouldn't be able to make it at all. So now we were the primary receivers of the shopping order. So on Saturday, having availed ourselves of Janes house, we went into London to look at Big Ben/Downing Street/Trafalgar Square/Buckingham Palace etc, with Isaac becoming a master climber of statues along the way.

At Tower Bridge as a thunderstorm broke over our heads it was time to head back to make sure that we were there before the opening of the delivery window at 7pm. We were a bit damp after a ride through the rain on the Docklands Light Railway, but we made it with 15 minutes to spare.

We had dinner, put the kids to bed, and waited. And waited. And waited. The delivery window closed at 9pm, with no sign of the order. Checking the copy of the order that Jane had left behind we saw that we could ring Customer Services up until 11pm, so we gave them half an hour's grace before calling. Upon calling them I got an automated message telling me that the lines closed at 8pm on a Saturday and didn't re-open until 10am on Sunday. Hmm....no party food, and due in the cathedral at 10.30am.

Plan B swung into action.

When Jane saw me at Southwark before the service started she made ber own assumptions about Tasha's absence, putting it down to 'childcare problems'. I wasn't confirming or denying anything - it wouldn't be good to lie to a nearly-Reverend, and we'd agreed not to get Jane worried.

I wasn't hanging about after the service. I pegged it across South-East London back to the house to find everything under control, and the last few things being put out onto tables.

So how had this miracle been achieved?

Tasha had stayed house-sitting, ringing Customer Services on the dot of 10am. They tried to help, but ultimately their best offer was to deliver on Monday evening, blaming 'XXXXX Weather'. So she told them to cancel the order and got in the car, finding the local superstore and doing the shopping herself. Of course as she'd been expecting to go to an ordination she only had her 'best' clothes, which drew some strange looks in Lewisham.

Upon her return she now had a couple of hours to kill before everybody was due back, so got everything out onto the tables. Not a bad achievement when you're in a strange house, not knowing what bowls/plates/dishes are available, or even if they've been unpacked yet.

Jane was blissfully unaware of any of this, as the supermarket had not even been bothered to phone her to tell her that the order would not be delivered. She only found out the truth when she arrived home and couldn't work out why the food was already on the table. Needless to say, Tasha was immediately everybody's best friend!

The Christian website 'Ship of Fools' drew my attention this morning to Bishop Jonathan Blake's latest addition to his ministry - the 5th emergency service 'Bishop on Call'. Why, oh why didn't we think of him on Saturday night. Tash could have still come to the ordination whilst Blake cruised the supermarket aisles. I bet he'd have got even funnier looks about his apparel than she did.

On Placement

2009-06-26T05:26:00.000-07:00

With all the academic side of life finished until the end of September you could be forgiven for thinking that I'm going to be doing nothing for 3 months.

Wrong!

One course requirement is for me to spend four weeks hanging out with a friendly vicar, to really find out what life in a vicarage is like. You might think it's a bit late for that - vicarage life is going to happen anyway, but some people are still not quite sure what they want to do after ordination. The huge majority will go into a parish life, but others may be considering chaplaincy work, or other roles within the church. This month is a good time to find out how much you like day to day parish work; it's also a chance to do stuff you haven't done before.

So I'm spending a month with James (vicar) and Paul (curate) at St Andrews Histon and St Andrews Impington. As a former scientist I'm tempted to write that as an equation, to save use of multiple 'St Andrews', thus: St.Andrews (Histon and Impington), but that would require it to be the same St Andrews, which it's not. There are two of them. And I've now written more words than I would have saved. Enough rambling.

Starting last Tuesday I've been cycling a 10 mile round trip from my house to Histon, and spending large parts of the day accompanying James and Paul as they do their work. A cafe church ('Essence'), a home communion, a hospital visit and another home visit are among the highlights. This week holds the prospect of some schools work, a playgroup and some evening meetings, whilst also trying to maintain some semblence of family life.

Along the way I'm looking out for interesting situations to comment on, as I'll have to do a presentation and an essay on the placement when I get back to Ridley in September.

And as if the cycle ride wasn't enough I rounded off the week with a Men's Group cycle ride. I've done on of those before, in Ferndown, but that gentle 8 or 9 mile ride had nothing on this Cambridge epic. I never thought I'd cycle from the extreme north of Cambridge (Histon) to the extreme south (Grantchester), but I have now, and done the return trip too! 17.3 miles! Add to that the 10 miles for me to get to and from home and I was ready for bed on Friday night.

The phone lines are closed...

2009-06-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

..the votes have been counted and verified, and the results are ....

L - O - N - G

P - A -U - S - E

...in your pigeon holes for collection.

Actually it doesn't seem to be the done thing to talk about our results. Sorry about that. If I actually published the breakdown of my scores somebody would probably get upset. But for those who have been following my progress in Greek, that particular result rhymes with fix-de-swine.

Most of my results started with a 6, only one with a 5, one even with a 7, and the figures 7 and 8 were common as second figures. If we were to get Peter Snow to project these results onto a final degree result, it wouldn't quite rhyme with Thirst. But as I'm only staying long enough to complete a Diploma that's a fairly academic point. (academic! - get it? Oh, please yourself)

A few days after the results were issued we also got our essays back with the examiners comments. This is where we start to get a real feel for what we need to do to improve our marks for next year, if indeed we're aiming to improve - I started out aiming only to pass the diploma, but I feel an increasing urge to continue study after ordination at a slightly slower pace in order to complete to degree level and to see just how well I can do! I do have a common theme of not making sufficient reference to the books that I've read on the subject, or an over-reliance on one particular author. In one case, I read loads of books on Youth Ministry but struggled to find anything of direct relevance to the Romsey Mill situation that I was writing about, so the bibliography was long, but the list of references was very short... I guess I can learn library skills from that for next year.

We now have the summer holidays to decide which modules we'll be taking next year. There is very little choice to be honest, as most people on my course have little prior theological education, so we're guided to the same core choices as each other. Where it will vary a little is in detailed choices such as between studying one pair of Old Testament books or another, and the ability to 'audit' certain additional courses, which means we can sit in on lectures but don't have to submit any assessed work - this way we get to hear material, and can read around what interests us, but without the pressure of related essays.

And I've got all summer to consider my options, even if I didn't make any notes from the options meeting......ooops!

How to stump a leading theologian

2009-06-17T16:32:00.000-07:00

Last week we had a visit by a distinguished guest, the highly influential 20th century theologian Professor Jurgen Moltmann. You might never have heard of him, but if you've heard a sermon in the last forty years you will have heard his ideas.

Professor Moltmann was speaking on the occasion of the 2nd annual Moule lecture, held in memory of Charlie Moule, another key theologian who had a long association with Ridley Hall. A marquee full of staff, students, former students, invited guests and members of the public listened to his lecture for nearly an hour, before the floor was opened for questions.

And this was the first question. (Don't worry, it really doesn't matter if you weren't there for the lecture itself. It makes no difference whatsoever to your understanding of the question. Or indeed to Moltmann's understanding of the question. If by any remote chance the questioner is reading this, please let us know who you are. We're not quite sure why we want to know, we just have a morbid fascination.)

Questioner: “This is a double whammy if you will pardon the approach. The first thing is that for years there have been sermons preached about the Parable of the Sower which I think to have been quite erroneous for the simple reason that they ignore the work of C.H.Dodd and Joachim Jeremias in pointing out the context of the parable and trying to make out that Jesus was an idiot because he taught in parables which was a traditional Pharisaic method. So therefore my question is, starting from that point to ask the question: do we not recognize that the Parable of the Sower has two contexts? The context of the ministry of Jesus when he stands in the Hebrew background to understand that there is one particular truth held which is the victory of God that’s coming with a magnificent harvest that is far beyond anything we can dream of and then the context of the Greek speakers who couldn’t understand the Hebrew thinking and tried to deal with the allegory. That is the first bit, and the second bit is related to the question of time, which has been something that has run through all of your lecture, that is the question of how you relate time to eternity. And years ago I came to a certain picture and I’ll share it with you for your consideration, which is to say that if you take a ball and let that represent eternity and you draw a tangent to touch the side of that ball then that represents the amount of time that is in existence from when time began to when it ends. But everyone’s time is interpermeated with eternity and therefore we have that to add to our picture of the historical Jesus who is the eternal Jesus, who interpenetrates everyone’s time, our time now, he’s with us, their time then when he was with them. I offer those two things to you….”

Jurgen Moltmann: “Errr.. I’m not quite sure whether I understood every word you are saying…”

Jurgen is not alone. This was one rare occasion when I was on the same level as the staff.

End of Year

2009-06-17T15:51:00.000-07:00

Would you believe that Year 1 of 2 is nearly over? A whole month before Beth and Isaac finish school Dad finishes first!

With our leavers having finished last week (although still departing!) things are a lot quieter round here. At lunchtime there are just three tables occupied rather than the normal seven.

There are a few things to help us pass the time, between packing up our studies into boxes and moving into the basement so that a language school can take occupation next week. On Monday and Tuesday we did 'Community Tasks' - a variety of jobs helping to maintain the college and grounds, ranging from hedge trimming to sorting out the library - which I was assigned to - the only time that it's acceptable to make lots of noise in the library. Unused books were removed, creating space for new acquisitions - it's amazing how satisfying it is just moving books from one shelf to another. However, I'm not sure how easy it was for the visiting student who chose that day to write his assignment on 1 Corinthians. He took out most of the books on that topic, whilst we merrily rearranged and moved the shelf leaving no gap for him to return his books into!

Tuesday lunchtime brought possibly the last game of croquet of the season, and Wednesday the final Common Room meeting of the year (meeting of the student body) where we reviewed the year and looked forward to the things we need to do early next term to welcome the new students.

Thursday will have a final meeting with the staff, a session on our summer placements, and an All Age service to close the term. Which my team is leading.

It's going to be busy tomorrow. And then there's little let up, with a weekend trip to Ferndown and a single day off on Monday before I start tagging along behind a real vicar for a month.

That sinking feeling...

2009-06-17T15:40:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry to report that the Ridley Hall punt, Penny, suffered a fatal injury over the weekend. Over time her base had become rotten, and it just took somebody to stand in her to produce a reasonably sized hole. Fortunately this happened close to home, and in the presence of Chris, our friendly punt deacon. For future reference if this ever happens to you, simply sit everybody in one end of the punt to counteract the torrent pouring in the other end whilst making quick headway back to the mooring point.

The punt was given by an ordinand a number of years ago in memory of his wife Penny, who died whilst he was training at Ridley. Now that Penny the Punt has been retrieved and returned to dry land at college her nameplates will be removed and he will give them to his daughters.

Since then, Chris has been busy negotiating with local punt companies and has come up with an amazing deal that enables us to have unlimited use of commercial punts at advantageous rates with none of the expense or hassle of ownership.

This all comes mere weeks after my family took Penny out for a spin. Very nice, but slightly soggy feet at the end. Now we know why.

Leaving and returning

2009-06-12T04:43:00.000-07:00

It's one of those odd days at Ridley today. Yesterday was 'Leavers Day' - the official last day for those who are finished their time here. Most will be going off to be ordained, a handful have other plans, or are doing other roles for a year before being ordained next year. In the afternoon there was a children's party, a three-line-whip college communion and a Leavers Dinner in the evening.

There was a definite point when I can identify that I stopped being a First Year and became a 'Returner' - during the communion service all students went forward by staircase to pray for the leavers of that staircase. As my friends stood in front of me there was a real sense of sending them out, commissioning them for the next phase of their ministry, and a sudden realisation that I and everybody else who leaves next year were now in a position of seniority. In twelve months time I'll be the one going out...

As the marquee from the dinner is cleared out today there is a stream of leavers emptying their studies, carrying boxes and pushing trolleys, stuffing cars and vans full of that one roomful of possessions. Some of those who have lived out of college are already moving house today.

Ordinations take place on various dates. Many dioceses ordain at 'Petertide' - the last weekend of June / first one of July, others have to wait for 'Michaelmas' - the last weekend of September. I'm planning to go to one in Southwark on 28th June. For those being ordained earliest the next two weeks looks something like: move, unpack, have a bit of a rest, go on a 2-3 day pre-ordination retreat, get ordained, start work.

For them I reproduce here an article from this week's Church of England Newspaper, an excerpt from a regular column by Catherine Fox*:

Ordination dilemmas for new candidates
This week, some words of wisdom for those preparing for
ordination. ‘Foxes have holes, birds of the air have nests,
but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.’ Bracing
words. The nitty-gritty of discipleship. If the Lord
genuinely called us to be homeless for the sake of the
Gospel, we’d do it, wouldn’t we? ‘Jehovah jireh, my
provider, his grace is sufficient for me, for me for me.’ But
what if the Son of Man did have somewhere to lay his head,
only it was a curate’s house with blown vinyl wallpaper,
a damp poky study that used to be the garage, pub lounge
carpets, with all the good schools nearby full?

Curiously enough, this can feel like an even harder calling.
Grace sufficient for blown vinyl? Ooh, that’s a different
theological category entirely. Brace yourselves, folks, that’s
what you’ll need. Your bathroom suite will be avocado or
Germolene pink. Your kitchen tiles will have wheat ears and
harvest mice on. In short, your curate’s house will be full of
things that are nearly bad enough for you to do something
about, but not quite, because it’s only for three years. Yes,
you can stand it for three years, but it will annoy you for three
years. You will, of course, have your resettlement grant.
Here’s my advice: use it all on carpets. (A chancellor I know
would say use it all on bookshelves, but he’s wrong about that.
Books can be stacked in a corner, but there’s nothing you do
about exploding cabbage carpets.) There will also be a pot of
money for redecoration. If you are lucky, your congregation
will be full of able-bodied volunteers who can wield a roller
and repaint the entire house without falling off a step-ladder and
breaking a hip. Otherwise the parish will have to pay someone
to redecorate, and the money will run out halfway up the stairs.
I know there are ordinands out there snorting ‘At least they’ve
GOT a curate’s house! I’m getting ordained in a matter of weeks
and the accommodation still isn’t sorted!’ Welcome to the C of E!
Let’s find someone to blame. The parish? The bishop? The housing
officer? The DDO? All of the above? The trouble is that the church
is staffed not by villains so much as good-hearted folk trying to
make an impossibly under-funded over-stretched system work.
It didn’t ought to be this way, but it is this way. And you will
survive. You will. Just don’t look to your training incumbent for
sympathy. The minute you raise any of these issues, I guarantee
that older clergy will immediately go into a Monty Python-esque
Four Yorkshire Vicars sketch. ‘Curate’s house? Luxury! We lived
in a wheelie bin in the graveyard!’

*(c) 2009, The Church of England Newspaper

The Besom Project

2009-06-08T04:36:00.000-07:00

At the risk of blowing my own trumpet, we did something fantastic last week - "The Besom Project".

Besom started small over 20 years ago and now operates in 30 locations around the country, Cambridge being one of them. It aims to "provide a bridge between those who want to give money, time, skills or things, and those who are in need". For more info on Besom visit their website. I organised a group of ordinands to do something to help a Cambridge family, and all we had to do was give our time. Besom put us in touch with a family in need, and provided the tools and equipment we needed to do the job.

The story is best told by plagarising my own material, so here are edited highlights of my daily prayer updates that I sent to the Ridley community. The names of the family have been changed to preserve their anonymity.

Wednesday

Thank you for your prayers for us in chapel today. A team of five managed to clear an overgrown back garden and painstakingly weed a gravelled front garden. Along the way a fair amount of time was spent chatting and praying with our 'recipient' Sarah, who is happily publicising to anybody who passes what a wonderful job these trainee vicars are doing for her and her family.

Sarah is a single mum who has struggles with aspects of life and with bringing up her two daughters Dawn and Charlotte. Dawn seems to be the one who manages to combine schoolwork with keeping the household going, and is remarkably level-headed for it.

Today the social worker visited and suddenly there is an increased interest in the family, which we hope is unrelated to our presence. We are also making efforts through the appropriate channels to draw attention to a broken soil pipe with Sarah's disinterested faceless landlord, The Council, and have uncovered a bees nest for them to deal with too!

Tomorrow we continue with the gardening, and move on to re-painting Dawn's bedroom, but we have taken the family to our hearts and want to do so much more for them than we can possibly achieve in 3 days.

Becca and Charlie have both prayed with Sarah on her front doorstep, something that she welcomed.

Please continue to pray for the team, both those who will be joining us tomorrow for the first time, and for those who are exhausted from today's efforts. Also that we continue to deal tactfully with issues that arise, and resist the temptation to totally blitz the house to bring it to our own personal standards. Finally, for Sarah, particularly worried about the sudden increase in interest from Social Services, and turning to us for advice.

Thursday

Day 2 in the Big Besom house was as productive as yesterday. We took a van full of rubbish to the tip, some progress towards Sarah's desire to get a skip for most of the stuff she doesn't have the ability to dispose of. Work in both gardens moved on, and we're starting to feel that we're getting on top of it all.

Our main target today was the redecoration of Dawn's bedroom, and we got further than I expected we would. The room was totally emptied (but given how jam-packed full it was this took nearly an hour) before being thoroughly cleaned and painted. So far we've got two coats of paint on the ceiling, one on the walls and one on the woodwork. Tomorrow we need to raise that count to 2 coats of everything, along with returning the furniture and belongings to some sort of order.

Yesterday's 'prayer on the doorstep' was superceded today by Andy’s 'Bible Study on the doorstep', reading some parts of Matthew's Gospel with Sarah. I'm not sure how we can top that on Friday, but we continue to pray with Sarah as and when she needs it.

Please continue to pray for Sarah, Dawn and Charlotte, with whom we have a great relationship. Sarah was really touched by our prayers for her yesterday, and we're finding it difficult to remain emotionally detached. Again, we're all tired after another day's hard work.

Friday

Phew - it's all over! Today we finished everything we'd set out to achieve. With the final coats of paint done by lunchtime, all that remained was lots of finishing flourishes. It's not quite like it is on the TV, where they have lots of money to throw at it, but today produced three rose bushes and a rotary washing line for the garden and some fresh furniture for Dawn's bedroom.

Charlie prayed with Sarah over the new 'rose garden' for a new beginning, blessing the garden and the house. The roses came after Sarah told one of us that she loved them, but that her last rose bush had been dug up some time ago. She now gazes out of her kitchen window at her flowers.

We replaced her dilapidated washing line with a new rotary drier, which we now know is one thing that she's been wanting to save up for. Dawn loves her revived bedroom. With everything having come out and gone back in for the redecoration she can now see the floor, and is having a good clearout as things go back in. A quick search of Besom's limited stock of donated furniture found a desk, CD shelves and rug for her. The desk provides her with an unprecedented place to do her homework, and is already proudly and neatly outfitted with her stationery.

Dawn gave me some insight into the social worker's increased involvement this week - this was extra support being provided as they weren't sure how her mum would cope with all the work being done in her house.

Before we left, Sarah told me that we've moved her closer to God this week, and that as a result she's taking Charlotte to Sunday School at her local church this Sunday. She also told that the support we've given has made her stronger - she acknowledges a problem with alcohol, but has visited 2 shops today and avoided the temptation of buying any. It's her 50th birthday in a couple of weeks time, and she's now planning a garden party to show it off to her friends!

This sort of stuff is where things happen - on the frontiers demonstrating Christ's love. We've learnt loads - but it can be summarised as "be bold, seize the chance"

Monday

As I write this blog entry, we might never know the impact that we've had on that family's life. We do know that Sarah and Charlotte went to their local church yesterday, despite the pouring rain, and that they are intending to go back. Several of my fellow students are attached to that church and each one has told me this morning of how Sarah's spirits have been lifted by this team of trainee vicars. I'm sure we haven't heard the last from her, but we will have left the area long before the story ends.

So the question for us, both students and staff here at Ridley is "what next?". For you, dear reader, in your churches and homegroups, it is "what can I do that will make a difference?". Even if there isn't a Besom project near you, what is stopping you from doing this yourself?

The blog software prevents me from putting as many pictures as I'd like here, so please go to my Facebook photo-album (you don't need to be a Facebook user to go there)

Student Host

2009-05-28T06:58:00.000-07:00

As I prepare for my second and final year I assume a new responsibility. All 'returning' students are expected to take some role on, ranging from Archdeacon (that's not a quick promotion, just a fancy name for 'Senior Student') who represents the students interests towards the staff, to Staircase Steward, Chapel Deacon, Audio-Visual Deacon, Books Deacon, and a whole load of other jobs. You might expect me to be doing the Audio-Visual job, but you'd be wrong. Plenty of other people to do that, I wanted to do something different.

So after standing for Archdeacon last term, and not getting elected (I'm over it now) I waited patiently for the successful Archdeacon Dave to create me the post of Gargolyes Maintenance and Operation Deacon. But that call never came. So I decided to go for Student Host instead.

What this means is that I work with my fellow Student Host, Mark, and the admissions office to ensure that future students who are coming for an interview have somebody to meet them and escort them on their interview day. Whilst all students are expected to act as escorts on at least one occasion through the year it's quite a challenge at this time of year to find enough hosts, when students are on exams or short courses, and from time to time Mark and I find ourselves standing in. Which is what I'm doing today.

So, as an escort, my job is to meet the student, and usually their spouse too, and have lunch with them, before delivering them to a series of interviews, and in between interviews showing them around the place and answering their questions. One panel session ('This is Ridley'), one with the Principal, one academic (what course do you want to do) and one pastoral (about personal background and family type stuff) in one afternoon means that they mostly emerge with a semi-glazed look, desparately trying to remember who said what to them, asking all sorts of questions. Sometimes you then need to find somebody who can answer that question - if somebody asks me about secondary schools I'm fine, but if they ask me about advice for budgets for one bedroom flats I'm useless!

Then Common Room Tea is a fine opportunity for all to regain their breath for half an hour, before they join us for College Communion, to get a flavour of Ridley at worship. After that it's time for dinner together, more questions and chat, before finally wrapping up, pointing in the direction of the door and leaving, with Student Host exhausted and interviewee feeling a bit dazed by the intensity of it all!

All done!

2009-05-26T15:27:00.001-07:00

An important day for lots of people at Ridley today - it was the final essay deadline for everyone, and the Greek exam. For those on my essay-based course this was the last academic hurdle this year. For others on the exam-based course the exams continue for the rest of this week.

So at lunchtime there were lots of relieved faces, a few people comparing notes on exactly how the tricky questions 2 and 6 had been answered (don't you hate it when they do that?), and my friend Jane observing that now she had no deadlines left all that stuff which had previously distracted her from work suddenly didn't seem quite so urgent!

But back to the Greek exam - I've taken a Cambridge University exam! Although I would have appreciated more salubrious surroundings as we sat in the most depressing room in Cambridge, a 1960's monstrosity called the Rank Room. And it most certainly matches its description, but to be honest when you've got your head down writing solidly for three hours you tend not to notice what's around you.

However, Cambridge being Cambridge there were some lovely traditions. The invigilators were fully robed in batman capes. If you've seen the recent video release of 'Joseph' it was a bit like the opening scene where all are lined up in the school hall waiting for the teachers to begin singing*! But that never actually happened. Pity.

The exam was OK - a few tricky bits that I couldn't do but I'm not expecting to get 100% anyway - I'll get the results in about 3 weeks time, along with all the other results for the year.

So now the pace eases off. For those leaving there are a couple of intense weeks of short courses, but I'll write about those next year when it's my turn. For those returning there are slightly less courses - the Bereavement course that I wrote about in January is back for all students, due to popular demand, so having already done it I've actually got the next few days off! Next week there's a couple of half-day courses, and I'm organising a Besom project (a what? - call back next week).

It's really nice with the pressure off. I can go into the library and read the books that I've been looking at longingly for the last 6 months, knowing that I've got time to read them, and that I don't have to take notes or write anything about them. I could sit drinking tea all day, practising my pastoral technique. I could, at a push, afford a lie-in.

*Thanks to Disco Dave for that - kept me amused all the way through the exam, waiting for them to burst into song.

Nearly there

2009-05-23T10:01:00.000-07:00

It's a year today since I left work. Lots has happened since then, as long-term readers will know. This time last year we faced a move to Cambridge, not really knowing what lay ahead. Looking back, it's not been too bad!

The course has flown by, and academically we're almost there. Today I finished the last of my first-year essays, which now just awaits my proof reader before being finally printed and handed in on Tuesday morning. For me it's been an amazingly productive week with three essays completed, but I offer a little piece of advice at this point - it's best if you don't doze off with your laptop on your lap. I am absolutely shattered - towards the end of the week it's been difficult to get out of bed, but no difficulty at all getting into it!

Now there is only the Greek exam to look forward to. The rest of the Bank Holiday weekend will be spent enjoying the Monaco Grand Prix (unfortunately not in person), with a bit of time off, and some revision, as well as hosting a barbecue for SPICE (the Ridley partner's group) on Monday evening.

In other news, Gavin and Ruth have clearly decided that I have forgotten about my Ferris Wheel. I told them I'd send a text when I'd forgotten about it....

Vicars and children

2009-05-19T10:06:00.000-07:00

We had a good session at Romsey Mill today. Partly because there weren't very many in the group, mostly because I spent much of it playing with K-Nex. Here's the Ferris Wheel that I made in a feeble attempt to 'engage with the young people'.

And engage we did. One by one everybody joined me for a few minutes to add a bit, or to have a chat. Why didn't we get this out weeks ago? One boy finally realised, after 7 months, that I'm a trainee vicar. It didn't change his foul language at all, but it completely threw him off balance because, in his words, "vicars don't work with children."

Which in turn threw us, the leaders, off balance. Why on earth would vicars not work with children?

The reality, from my side, is precisely why I'm working at Romsey Mill - we need to work with all ages. When I first started thinking about training somebody told me that she could never see me being a vicar because "you're no good with old ladies". It was amazing how many old ladies crossed my path and befriended me over the next few weeks to enable me to firmly rebuke that statement.

In other news, we're out of the croquet tournament. Trounced by the vice-principal and the college's main sportsman, 8-2. Next year maybe.

Meanwhile here's a short film of Gavin and Ruth demonstrating the Ferris Wheel and trying to be relevant to da yoof.

So what happened last term?

2009-05-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

I just realised that having given you a comprehensive account of what I got up to academically in the first term I totally failed to tell you what I've been studying since Christmas. So you've been reading about snowballs, Federation Worship and croquet, and maybe thinking that I'm not justifying my use of church funds terribly well!

The Spring Term replaced 'Reading the New Testament' with 'Reading the Old Testament' - this was a study not of every single page of the Old Testament (OT), but of the different types of writing within it. Let's see if anything went in - The OT comprises 5 types of writing - Histories, Prophecies, Wisdom...and two others. Oh dear. I'm so pleased I don't have an exam in this!

Also 'Church History' was replaced with 'Theology and Practice of Mission'. Some sample topics there: Mission and Evangelism, Mission and other faiths, Mission and the Trinity (nope, me neither...I thought the Trinity had already been converted). The essay for that one went in on May 11th.

Finally, Life and Service changed emphasis from the first term (when we thought a lot about Theological Reflection, and some Pastoral Situations) to looking at some Preaching and Sermon Writing, along with some theological background to the CoE. That gave some opportunity for us to ask some 'why do we do that?' type questions, as it's so easy for us to do or say the same thing in services without knowing really why we do them. My favourite one was a Ridley specific one- "Why is the large freestanding silver cross placed on the right hand side of the chapel panelling rather than in the centre?". The answer wasn't so much theological as practical. If it was in the centre it would get in the way of our projection screen!

Greek continued unabated - I didn't do so well in the end of term test as the last time, but the average mark was still highly respectable. Exam for that in a couple of weeks time.

The summer (or, confusingly, 'Easter') Term has no new teaching - some of the modules roll over for a few weeks, but the contact time is much lower, and we've had pretty much all the formal academic teaching for this term already. The staff are currently 'heads-down' writing reports on us for our dioceses and after the essay deadline/exam period they will furiously mark our assessments in order to get our marks back to us before the term is over whilst we occupy our time with some practical training.

The essays are going OK - my piece on Romsey Mill is 95% there, just simmering on a side-burner for a few days. Now I have to read up and write on 'the characteristics of a prophet' and design a course that isn't a blatant Alpha rip-off, all within the next 12 days. As well as fit in the next round of croquet, and start to plan an All-Age service.

Heads down, finishing post in sight

2009-05-12T04:54:00.000-07:00

It's busy, busy, busy here. Two weeks to go until the final essay deadline and a Greek exam.

The essay that I had to write on 'Theology of Mission' went in on time yesterday. Now there's just three more essays to write and that Greek to revise - which is as much about being familiar with Chapters 1 to 5 of John's Gospel as knowing actual Greek words.

And if that's not enough, there's the Ridley Croquet tournament. The picture shows Will revising hard for this particular assessment. For the last two terms we've been kept off the grass in order to preserve the Wembley-like playing surface (read into that what you will!), but now the lawn is beginning to look like Wimbledon in the middle of the Championships as we trample it in order to make it to the top of the croquet pile. Along with my croquet partner Jon Oliver we found a few spare hours to hone our game last week before thrashing our first round opponents last night. The second round may not be so easy - essays are starting to look more attractive than a match against the Vice-Principal....

Slightly annoyed

2009-05-06T15:51:00.000-07:00

Jesus did 'righteous anger' when he kicked the moneychangers and rip-off merchants out of the temple. I think I'm about to do a spot of it, albeit remotely and aimed at some Dutch people and venture capitalists that I've never met.

It's coming up for one year since I left work, the fortunate consequence of a round of redundancies. I learnt today that there's another round - that's the second lot since I left, the third in a year. Facts are few and far between, and I'm trying to find out more so that I can pray for the situation in an informed, rather than ignorant, manner, but what I know so far is that the teams that I left are being hacked about, despite record breaking performance over the last couple of years. It's heart-breaking to think that people's lives are being ripped apart when they've worked so hard. Their reward - a P45.

I've realised today that I haven't missed the daily slog of driving to Southampton, of staring at spreadsheets, graphs and meeting minutes for endless hours. What I have missed is the company of certain individuals, good friends, and human company with a face. As opposed to a faceless company with no heart.

Whilst my new 'employer' may be another faceless organisation, we're certainly in the business of having a heart and caring for people. I'm looking forward to that bit.

Take Risks

2009-04-30T08:40:00.000-07:00

I'll start off with an advance apology. After all it is the Church of England - we usually apologise for having any sort of view on anything at all, so the word 'sorry' is definitely in the vocabulary.

I'm sorry if articles don't appear as often as they have been for the next few weeks - with assignment dates looming my attention is elsewhere, but I am thinking of you dear reader. Consequently the articles that you do get may have more of a "Dear Diary, this is what I've been doing flavour" than usual.

So, anyway, term started on the 20th April, and it was almost straight down to business. This Easter term is very short - exams for those who have them (essays for those who don't) are in the last week of May, and there's 4 weeks of teaching to be given and received in some modules. There's no messing about with short courses - once we'd had a full college 'Hall Meeting' and the staff had had a training day it was back into the timetable.

I've still got lectures in Greek, Old Testament and 'Life & Service', and as I mentioned last time 5 pieces of work to hand in. It tends to keep the mind focussed. Add into that the half-hour for a college photograph (all in suits and dresses - very nice), and the odd game of croquet as a de-stressing activity AND the lovely hot weather forcing us out onto the benches to sunbathe and the week soon passes. Already one week of the four gone.

Friday's Life & Service saw us being sent out onto the streets of Cambridge to talk to real people about their views on/relationship with The Church. That was really interesting, and encouraging. It's so easy to sit in your study and think you know what people think without actually asking them. The picture at the top is of us in our highly stressed de-briefing afterwards.

Saturday saw '160 Glorious Years' - a celebration of four 40th birthdays as Charlie, Jane, Mark and I shared a party in the Ridley Lecture Hall. Families, friends and a lot of the students joined us - I've never seen so many people in the seminar room that we were using for the food!

It would have been nice to have Sunday as a day of rest after the party, but being trainee vicars we all had things to do on Sunday morning. I had managed to agree to jointly lead the 10am service at St George's*, along with the other 3 ordinands. So a bright and early start as we celebrated St George's day a few days late, making a dragon and slaying it with a lightsaber before talking about the myths and realities of both George and Jesus, with only a minor controversy between High and Low Church ordinands as I nearly said a prayer that 'must' be said by a priest if a priest is present. The 'highs' couldn't contemplate a priest not doing that bit, the 'lows' didn't even know there was such a requirement!!

After rushing home for a barbecue lunch with Mum and Dad, it was time to go back to Ridley to restore the rooms to a state fit for theological study. I'm sure Our Lord Jesus Christ must have been familiar with the smell of stale wine, and what was good for him is good for Ridley students.

In gaps between lectures I managed to finish one essay, which Tasha now needs to proof-read, and attend a seminar and start the reading for the Theological Reflection which I must do on Romsey Mill.

On Wednesday night I went to a talk by Canon Andrew White, the so called 'Vicar of Baghdad'. Truly inspiring, if totally bonkers. He's a former Ridley student, who had no idea when he was at Ridley that he'd be doing the challenging and dangerous work that he's doing now. I asked him what advice he had for ordinands who were trying to discern their long-term calling: his answer was 'Take Risks'.

So that leads me to Thursday, where at a Common Room meeting I've been appointed to the risky task of 'Student Hosts Deacon' for the next 12 months, and I think I've persuaded a number of students to do a social action project. More on those another time, as well as something about St George's.

Extreme essay avoidance

2009-04-20T13:24:00.001-07:00

I haven't written for a while - that's because I've been enjoying my Easter Holidays. For the last 20 years my Easter Holiday has consisted of the same as most other people - Good Friday and Easter Monday - but while I'm in Cambridge I get four glorious weeks! And glorious is an apt description - wherever I've been the sun hasn't been far behind.

We spent most of the first week furniture shopping. Yes, I am a poor student, but one in receipt of a bequest, so we trolled around the sofa and dining table outlets of Cambridge and even as far afield as exotic Newmarket, before returning to the first sofa shop and a local pine/oak business to place our orders.

Much of the second week was spent reading theology books in preparation for writing an essay. Then I had an e-mail from my landlord's agent giving me permission to remodel the patio. Not something I make a habit of, but since we arrived it had been bugging us! In order to meet building regulations for disabled access into our three-storey, narrow-doorway, no-downstairs-bedroom-or-bathroom house the builders had left a hideous and impractical ramp leading into our kitchen, rendering the patio useless for anything other than putting a single chair out on. My books were put down and my most extreme form of essay avoidance so far was in action within ten minutes! And over the course of the next few days it was transformed, for the cost of a few bags of cement and 24 hours hire of a slab cutter, and several trips to the tip.

BEFORE and AFTER

It might not look like much, but the lack of a six inch step in the middle of the area makes all the difference! And Cambridge is not one of those places that hides behind fancy words - the tip is not known as a 'civic amenity site' in these parts...

By now it was a few days before Easter and time to visit Ferndown. Staying for a few days with Tasha's parents in Blandford we seemed to make the 40-mile round trip to Ferndown at least once each day - I think we did more mileage that way than actually getting from and to Cambridge. We visited St Mary's church twice, the house and Lidl once, the beach and Beth's friend Louise once each, and met some of our former youth group in the pub one evening before having dinner with the Caleys. And even went into Blandford...

It was great getting back to St Mary's - it was the first time I'd returned since August, and I needed to catch up with a few people, but even more people needed to catch up with me. I can tell who has been reading the blog and our magazine articles from the questions asked of me! Our arrival on Good Friday was previously unannounced, but we were only 30 seconds or so into the service when Rev Martin Howard asked for volunteer children and did a spectacular double take when Isaac appeared in front of him!!

By the Wednesday after Easter we were back home and into the final week, and I couldn't avoid it any longer. The 'Theology and Practice of Mission' essay needed to be written, and I was running out of excuses. It got mostly written on Thursday, and is now stewing before I polish it off in a few days time - it's not due in for another couple of weeks, but 4 more assignments, one Sunday service, one sermon and a few other things all need to be started.

Easter Term started today, and I'd barely got to Ridley before Tash phoned, very excited, announcing that the new sofas will be delivered tomorrow at 9am. Up until then I'd been planning to do some reading today. My mission changed in an instant to a new and unexpected bonus essay avoiding tactic of disposing of the two old CYFA-worn sofas before tomorrow morning. An hour later, one was in its new home in C staircase kitchen. By now there are three other students pitching in for the second one!

Jade's funeral

2009-04-04T15:18:00.000-07:00

I was a little surprised when I turned on the TV at lunchtime to find BBC News carrying live coverage of Jade's funeral, even though I shouldn't have been - our final chance to see every aspect of her life being broadcast.

I've been sceptical about Jade's personal faith, but reading the text of the sermon preached at her funeral I take it back - the vicar who knew Jade best in these last few weeks is quite clear that Jade genuinely turned to Jesus as she faced death. I hope the wider church is ready to welcome all those who come through its doors in the coming weeks and months asking the same questions as Jade.

For the text of the sermon go to: http://www.chelmsford.anglican.org/jade-goodys-life-celebrated-at-buckhurst-hill-church.html and then pick up that dusty copy of the Bible, turn to Luke's Gospel, read it for yourself (it will only take about an hour - same as an episode of Big Brother) and make your own decision.

The "Essex Princess"

2009-03-22T09:55:00.000-07:00

So Jade's time on Earth is over. Farewell Jade. You were interesting.

I've been watching these last few weeks with fascination, and morbidly waiting for the end - every time I've gone online I've headed for the BBC website looking for bad news. Love her or hate her, Jade has done wonders for cervical cancer screening rates nationwide and her public fight for life has made many younger people contemplate their eternal fate where previously they thought they were invincible.

There are enough articles on the web already commenting on how Jade has used the media to her own advantage over the last few years, so I'm not going to make further comment on that, but a few things have struck me.

1. It's Mother's Day today. I'm sure Jade's not the only mother who has died today, but she's the one who is getting all the attention. She's left two little boys, who in all likelihood had made her a card and bought a present that they will not get to deliver to her. That's happening up and down the country today, to children young and old, but everybody else is doing their mourning out of the public glare.

2. Jade's mum Jackiey said this: "My beautiful daughter is at peace. Family and friends would like privacy at last". That's ironic then. I'm guessing that family weren't too comfortable with Jade's hunger for attention.

3. Jade's spirituality. In her last few weeks Jade did some interesting things. She got married, she was baptised and she got her children baptised. I've read some interesting things about her motivations for these (I'm a bit concerned that she may have gone for the 'baptism will get me into Heaven' ticket, and also heard that she'd been hedging bets with other faiths too) but by now she'll have had the conversation with Jesus where he looks for her name in the Book Of Life (I always think that sounds a bit Monty Python-ish) and her eternal destination will have been determined by her personal relationship with him, and nothing else.

4. Bishop Jonathan Blake performed the blessing at her wedding and was interviewed on BBC News this morning. He's an interesting character. Very convincing, and from the same vein as Jade and Max Clifford. I didn't know that we had a Bishop of Greater London. Oh, we don't. And neither does the Catholic church. Or any other mainstream Christian church. At the risk of increasing his self publicity here's a link: http://www.bishopjonathanblake.com/. Just look at what he's not saying about himself and make your own decision. At least I know where to go if I have any trouble getting ordained!

I'm off to watch the news now - the public reaction to this is going to be interesting. I'll be watching for what people say when they drop some petrol station flowers off at the gates of her house, and for what they don't say - what being English prevents them from saying....

More news from East Angular soon.

Easter hols!

2009-03-20T03:43:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, it was the end of the Lent Term yesterday. Such stress we have in Cambridge for a whole 8 weeks in a row. I'm not quite sure what these other universities are messing about at with their 12 and 13 week terms....what on earth was I doing all that time in Brighton in the early 90's?

Essay on "The Difference between Worship and Liturgy" handed in, we gathered in the Lecture Hall for our twice termly meeting of students and staff, where we hear all the news and plans that have been brewing since the start of term.

And then we prayed, which is where it all started to fall apart. There have been quite a lot of pregnancies announced this term, as well as the sadness of a stillbirth. After we remembered that sadness I wanted to give thanks for the joys of pregnancy and ask protection for the expectant parents. Except once my mouth opened it seemed to lose connection with my brain, and before I knew it I'd dug a huge hole that there was no getting out of. A sentence that was meant to celebrate the joys of children turned into one about the joys of making children. Fortunately by now all were laughing so loud that my next few words were lost.....

At least everybody was smiling for the rest of the day!

Change? Change!!

2009-03-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

There's a saying in the Church of England that if you do something once it's a change, but once you've done it three or four times in a row it's a tradition and you'll never be able to get rid of it.

I used to be amused by our youth group's impatience to shake things up at church and to make things a bit more, well, modern. Whilst I encouraged experimentation in worship I always used to stress the point that there's a time and place for some things and that not every Sunday morning can be the same as the youth events we used to frequent. There are ways and means of introducing things, although sometimes radical change can be introduced sensitively too.

So it's with amusement that I observe those same young people (and a curate friend of mine) reacting with horror when their favourite occupation, Facebook, makes some changes to its layout. And for the second time in six months too!

Look, I still haven't worked out where my Wall went to the last time Facebook made changes, but let's face it - all they need to do is make a third change and it'll be a tradition, and then nobody will be moaning about it.

As far as the east is from the west

2009-03-03T11:58:00.000-08:00

Today's session with my Romsey Mill group was a completely different experience from last week.

Between 9 of us we planted and fenced in about 20 shrubs. I say 9 of us - me, Gavin and Ruth enjoyed planting and fencing whilst many of our charges observed proceedings with some disinterest and complained about how hard they were being worked, whilst Iwan did his best to chivvy and encourage.

Over the course of 90 minutes everybody got along just fine. My un-friend from last week is once more my friend, without me having done anything different.

So things aren't so different from my nice cosy hot-chocolate-and-biscuits-in-my-lounge CYFA group that I left behind in Ferndown. But the Ferndown lot didn't use quite so much Anglo-Saxon, not that close to my face anyway.

And I'm not sure how well Slum Survivor would go down in this group.

I've had many comments about the article I wrote last week, from a variety of sources. Thank you all for your interest and encouragement.

Tired, frustrated, annoyed

2009-02-25T04:32:00.000-08:00

When I arrived at Romsey Mill for my weekly reminder of life on the edge I was greeted by Gavin and Ruth complaining that I hadn't blogged about my work there for ages. Little did we realise how much material the afternoon's events would give us.

With the late afternoons becoming lighter it's now possible to take our group of Year 9's out to do something constructive, after a winter of being cooped up playing Wii Sports, Murderball and badminton. With a recent grant being made to the Mill we are able to continue work with Anglesey Abbey, a nearby National Trust property.

However, we nearly didn't get there. The minibus stopped twice on the way - firstly for a seatbelts reminder, the second time for Gavin to address some really unpleasant behaviour between certain individuals in the group. Take a mixture of bad language, misogyny and plain rudeness, use your imagination, double the result and you'll be nowhere near the level of what we experienced yesterday. After a brief pause to reconsider our life choices the journey resumed, and we eventually met up with Iwan, who works for the National Trust on their grounds and looks after their work with schools and other agencies like Romsey Mill. However, I imagine that Iwan's experience of my son's Year 4 class a few months ago is the other end of the spectrum from this group.

The energy from the minibus did not disperse when we got into the open air. Larger and larger sticks and branches were being brandished, and I was not in a mood for being polite. So when I told Andy* for the 'n'th time to put his branch-sized stick down (notice the 'told', not 'asked') and he refused to co-operate unless I said 'please' I simply pulled the branch from his hand. He went off in a strop, and I decided that this wasn't a time to discuss what I've recently learnt in Greek about my choice of the 'imperative mood'.

Half an hour later Andy was still in a bad mood. Apparently I'd made his hand bleed pulling the branch from him. Not that you could tell this from looking at his hand. I apologised and thought it was over. But no, for the remainder of the session he would not forgive me. I had sticks thrown directly at me, even after I re-apologised, and after Gavin had explained that it was now time to let it go. Gavin even at one point stood in the line of fire to take my suffering upon himself (in a literal re-enactment of Jesus), but still no forgiveness, not even by the time we got back to the Mill.

Gavin and I found ourselves asking 'why?'. Why the extreme bitterness between group members, why the irrational lack of forgiveness? Why are we doing this? We realised that we're doing this tough work because nobody else is, because we've chosen to do as Jesus tells us to - to work with the last, the least and the lost. That means that it's not always going to be easy, that sometimes we want to stop, but we can't - if we stop working with the marginalised youth nobody else is going to help them.

We each walked away knowing that Jesus would have a killer line to these young people. One sentence that would stop them in their tracks, that they wouldn't be able to answer back to, that they wouldn't dare question. But what is it?

*name changed

Sorry, I didn't realise you were serious!

2009-02-20T06:03:00.000-08:00

An amusing incident, with a serious undertone....

This morning, just before our 'how to write a sermon' class began our lecturer/teacher/preacher Paul was trying to work out what time the session was actually meant to start. Was it 10am exactly, or 10.05, or what? Consensus decided that as it was already 10.06 we should start anyway, Paul cleared his throat and the background hum died down. All except for one voice which continued to converse with his neighbour. To preserve his dignity we'll call him Gordon.

Paul is quite perceptive, and noticed that there wasn't total silence. So he asked Gordon to say a short prayer to kick off the session. All adopted an appropriate posture and waited for the prayer to begin.

And waited.

And waited.

After a while eyes started to open, heads started to lift, before Paul pointed out to Gordon that he couldn't hear him....

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realise you were serious" (i.e. I thought you were just telling me to shut up!)

After we had composed ourselves Gordon did indeed manage a prayer, out loud, and we started the lecture.

But it raises a point. How often have we been asked to do something for God and we've not taken it seriously, or we've ignored it hoping it will go away? God is waiting for you to do it, prompting you to remind you that he's still waiting.....

Under Bishop's Orders

2009-02-12T15:06:00.000-08:00

College Communion tonight was attended by the Bishop of Huntingdon, as our intern Katy Wehr was to be confirmed by him.

He opened the service by asking us to turn our mobile phones back on, with a request to get blogging and twittering, in order to match the Queen who updated her website today. So here I am; however, I'm so tired that I can't really write much, apart from that I really enjoyed the service, which was a really special occasion for Katy.

In order to meet his request for technological wizardry here's a short video I shot on my phone whilst operating the sound system
(Parental Warning - video includes people in a church setting enjoying themselves, exhibiting the sort of behaviour that TV likes to portray as weird, such as using modern instruments and raising hands in worship)
(Quality warning - the picture quality is rubbish!)

Tomorrow we're off on a prayer weekend away with most of the first years and staff. The depths of rural Norfolk beckon.

Whimsical looking vicars

2009-02-11T06:50:00.000-08:00

There's nothing like a good reality shock to prepare you for what's ahead.

This is the time of year when the 'tat fair' hits Ridley. In other words the day when the suppliers of clergy paraphenalia visit to flaunt their wares. They're mostly focussed on clothing, but there is also the opportunity to buy packs of candles, palm leaves (£15.84 for a 7ft branch), purificators, incense grains, fibreglass stations of the cross, holy socks (yes, really), hymn boards, monstrances and augustine albs. And before you ask I don't know what all of those are or why I would want many of them.

I went not because I needed to, but just to give myself 12 months to get used to the idea. I had a nice chat with one of the ladies about people's expectations of you and your robes, and what it says about you. Even if you don't do full robes every Sunday, do you wear them for weddings and funerals, and does it make a difference to what you wear for these events if the people are churchgoers or not? A hoodie-with-dog-collar might be useful in some circumstances, but entirely inappropriate in others. Plain blue shirt or grey denim today? Cerise or lemon? (oh, that's the ladies section...)

I've got a nice selection of catalogues, with pictures of vicars modelling shirts and looking whimsically into the middle distance. I've seen all styles of clerical shirts, T-shirts and hoodies (made to measure in any colour or style of my choosing). One of them looked more like a Brownie uniform than a vicar's shirt, but it's nice to know that it's available. I've seen stoles, cassock albs, surplices, and Fairtrade shirts, but I've declined the opportunity to try on. Not just yet thanks. Some first years are in total denial and won't even go in the room until their final year.

For some of those in their final year this was a big reality shock. In 4 months time they will need the outfit for their ordination service. One of my staircase colleagues has simply limited herself to a hoodie and a single clerical shirt - it's all she can face at this stage. For the final year students it's beginning to hit home that something big happens later this year, when the academic side is over and it's time to hit the streets.

More tea vicar?

2009-02-05T09:33:00.000-08:00

It's taken a while, but it's finally happened.

Each Thursday afternoon at 4pm the staff and students gather in the Common Room for 'Common Room Tea'. Staircases take it in turns to do the catering, which varies from home-made cakes (practice for us judging at summer fairs?) to packets of chocolate biscuits, to plates of fresh pineapple and melon slices.

But this week, for the first time ever, with snow on the ground outside, we took tea with cucumber sandwiches and scones.

Just one minor detail - the crusts had been left on the cucumber sandwiches, but they were very nice crusts.

Coming soon to a church near you

2009-02-02T10:31:00.000-08:00

I can reassure you that the congregations of years to come have nothing to fear. Your future curates and vicars are as childish as anybody else when the snow falls. Emerging from Staircase Prayers this morning we were bombarded with a hail of snowballs from students and staff alike. I was just the test case - they were waiting for Principal Andrew to emerge. This appears to be some form of training for those who will be placed in northern counties where the local unchurched rabble stand outside snowy churches waiting for the vicar to leave the building.

[in the interests of appropriate academic practice I should state that some of these photos weren't taken by me, but I can't be bothered to find out whose they are]

On the left my snowman impression. The horns are a temporary feature, due to interaction of snow, cycling helmet and spiritual conditions. They've receded now.

On the right a Christmas card picture of the chapel.

Below the Royal Marines finest, Fred Frederick, fails to hit the target (apparently a rare occurrence):

By the way, Principal Andrew let it slip to me that he's been reading this blog. Watch out, here he comes again......look as if you're paying attention.

'Hello Sir. I think you'll find all is in order. Just practising writing for the church newsletter'.

p.s. be warned - Andrew can return snowballs as well he receives them.

A very polite telling off....

2009-01-26T11:56:00.000-08:00

'C' staircase felt like a change. So this morning found us attending Morning Prayer not in the usual location of our Common Room but in King's College Chapel. You can see us walking there in the photo. Along the way we encountered Star Radio's Coleman the Patrolman, a roving traffic reporter who roves Cambridge on a bike instead of a helicopter. Being on foot I lacked a car horn so I greeted him with a verbal 'honk', which he returned with a blast from his handheld squeezy hooter. The japes these mature students get up to!!

Back to the plot. We arrived at King's with a few minutes to spare. The staff there looked a little astonished as 16 of us trooped in and down the main aisle in search of the service. As I was at the back of the group I got a ringside seat for a conversation with the college Chaplain, along the lines of:

Chaplain: 'Hello, there do seem to be rather a lot of you, I'm afraid we might not have enough seats for you all'

Us: 'That's alright, we can stand'

C: 'But the chapel is quite small'

U: 'Oh, don't worry, we can squeeze quite small' (strange, it looks quite big from outside...)

C: 'It would have been useful if we had known you were coming'

U: 'Ah, yes, we, err...couldn't find your e-mail address' (but it's a publicly advertised service?)

C: 'I don't think we'll have enough service books.....'

U: 'It's OK' (producing our own Common Worship books from our pockets with a flourish)

And so we proceed to the Chapel, feeling like we've been told off firmly but very politely. We discover that the reason for his concern is that King's College Huge Christmas Carol Service Chapel also has a number of small side chapels, and it's in one of these, the Memorial Chapel, that Morning Prayer takes place. I think the fact that it was Monday morning accounts for the fact that King's students had - cough - 'forgotten' about Morning Prayer, which was today attended by their Chaplain, 13 Ridley students and 3 Ridley staff! A very intimate and quite special time together. I suspect the Chaplain was actually quite glad to have company.

Afterwards we slowly made our way out, gawping at the architecture, the spectacular ceiling and 360 degree stained glass - we would normally have to pay just to get in, but attending services is free! You can get a feel of it by visiting the chapel website but it's no substitute for seeing it with your own eyes.

A full English breakfast in a local cafe followed, before the reality of the day's lectures intervened.

The results are in...

2009-01-25T09:34:00.000-08:00

....the votes have been counted and verified and we can now announce the results live on air. Please do not swear...... OK, so I'm not Davina. I've been watching too much Big Brother.

But I do have some results! The essays I handed in before Christmas have been marked, put before the exam board and the results issued.

I got 68% in New Testament and 67% in Church History. Given that you only need 70% for a First Class degree I'm pretty impressed, especially as there's much more thinking and writing in this course than in my Electronics degree of many years past (in which I got a 2.1 - same sort of percentages). There was a joint birthday party at Ridley last night (see here for pictures) and having these marks made it even more of a celebration.

So thanks to all those who encouraged me and have been supporting me from afar! I just handed in my latest effort, and now have time to work out when the next thing is due. I have a feeling that it might be a Greek test.

The Great Blessing

2009-01-16T13:12:00.000-08:00

It's been a funny old week.

This week's intensive course was 'Race Awareness'. It was a good course, aimed at making us aware of the issues facing ethnic minorities in this country. And it did that. It's just a pity it took 2.5 days to do so.

With that out of the way I could now focus on 2 things - firstly Greek (our teacher Mark was pleased to recall a conversation with a startled member of staff who was surprised that we'd all passed our pre-Christmas test and there had been no dropouts all term!).

Secondly my 'Life and Service' essay on 'the Dulles Model of Church'. I'm convinced there's a spelling mistake and there should be an extra 't' on the end of that second word. Some guy called Dulles analysed loads of churches and decided that a good church has a balance of 5 elements. I've got to analyse a church I am familiar with against this model and given that I'm not intimately familiar with that many churches I've picked on one in Ferndown. Against some definitions I have to decide to what extent does it identify as an institution (partial tick), as a mystical communion (partial tick), as a sacrament (tick), as a servant (tick), as a herald (tick). 1000 words written this afternoon, another 1000 needed before Thursday.

And on Thursday afternoon a regular meeting of the students where the most exciting things we could find to talk about was whether it was OK to wear academic robes in college. Passions rose high but I couldn't get excited about it. It's like those meetings we used to have at work where some executive had travelled halfway across the world to talk to us about the state of the business and somebody would ask a question about the repainting of the bike sheds....

Back to the title. Tuesday night was Federation Worship, and this week it was the turn of the Institute of Orthodox Christian Studies (IOCS) to lead. IOCS are the only people who seem to be quite distinctive about the style of worship that they share with us - all other houses of the Federation seem to dumb down their distinctiveness for public consumption, but IOCS doesn't hold back. 55 minutes of incense, recited and intoned liturgy, choral led responses, and much sprinkling of water, as we celebrated the Great Blessing of the Waters (i.e. Jesus' baptism).

It was one of those occasions which I'll remember for a long time as it was so different from my normal experience, but I'm quite happy for it to remain an occasional experience - it's a bit too late for me to defect, and I can't chant well enough.

Getting Intense

2009-01-10T05:10:00.000-08:00

No, not an article in anticipation of this summer's camping trip - it is a couple of degrees too cold to even think about that - but an interesting and informative insight into why we go back to college almost two weeks before the rest of Cambridge.

The early part of January is the one chance that the colleges of the Cambridge Theological Federation (see here) get to offer their students in-depth training on topics that interest us - a choice of 2 from 12. Trouble is I wanted to do most of those on offer, but as I only get to do 4 of them while I'm here, and 2 are compulsory I had to choose carefully. I've chosen Bereavement, which I had this week, and next week I'll be studying Race Awareness (that's a compulsory one).

Here's the list I had to choose from:

HIV/AIDS:Issues and responses in the Church
Prayer
Storytelling Skills in Ministry
Storytelling Advanced
Sexuality and the Pastoral Encounter
Bereavement
Godly Play
Jewish Christian Relations
Race Awareness
Christian Responses to Islam
Christian Responses to Eastern Faiths
Science, Religion and the Environment

Now there are a couple on there that you would expect to be covering anyway - and you're right - we do. I will emerge equipped to deal with bereavement and funerals, whether or not I chose to do this particular intensive course, but I'm sure when the timetabled teaching comes around I will be an annoying 'expert' on the topic, having studied it in depth already. There is inevitably some duplication when teaching happens for different qualifications at different times - my peers who started at the same time as me on the Cambridge University qualification already know a lot more than me about ethics, which I won't study until next year. They know about the Reformation, but I know about the Early Church (pre 1000AD) which they have no idea about yet...swings and roundabouts. And along the line a topic will grab each persons attention and we are all free to follow up anything which grabs our interest, in our own time.

The courses are 2.5 days long, which doesn't seem like much, but it's equivalent to the 2 hours a week we get in other term-long courses. However, concentrating so much in such a short time makes you very tired - I've gone to bed earlier this week than I have for a very long time.

So what is there to find out in 2.5 days of Bereavement training? Quite a lot.
We had to imagine a situation in which we had been knocked down by a bus and killed. How would your family find out, what would happen next, who would gather at your house, what would your funeral be like and how would your nearest and dearest know what you want at it, how would they cope financially?
We looked at loss, grief, the differences between expected and unexpected death (e.g. terminal illnesses vs accidents), how different people cope, how WE cope when we are dealing with death so frequently, the ongoing process of grief for individuals, the implications for us as vicars when a disaster happens in our town (the press and experts arrive and deal with the immediate aftermath, but what is our role as a community leader?)

Tears flowed frequently, as we were brought to face the inevitability of death, and the consequences for those left behind. It would be easy to be depressed by this all, but we didn't forget the hope we have in Heaven. And that will form the subject of a future article. Watch this space as I look at the place where we will go....

That was 2008

2008-12-31T09:42:00.000-08:00

A year of changes, many of which I've written about, but here's a gap filler, which hopefully will mean something to those from Ferndown.

January found me sat in one of those corporate meetings that you dread, where you can tell from the first slide of the Powerpoint presentation that bad news is coming. And it was - 38 jobs were going at NXP Southampton. Except for me this was perfect - I knew I would have been handing my notice in anyway. I was temporarily quite annoying as I left that meeting beaming from ear to ear, knowing that the following day I would be applying for voluntary redundancy. Meanwhile Beth and Isaac went to Disneyland, a Christmas present from their grandparents.

In February I remodelled the Youth Room at St Mary's, just in time for the Youth Alpha course - our biggest and best yet. Then there was the dark and cold Prayer Walk around Ferndown with the Police - wearing my hoodie I nearly got moved on by concerned theatre staff.

March greeted the arrival of a niece, Martin Howard's institution as Rector of Ferndown, and Helen Miller's wedding, despite the fact that she's still only 9 in my eyes.

April as ever saw a wife's birthday, a review and handover of geeky stuff at St Mary's (has Martin bought those new lights yet?), and Ferndown's saddest event - the funeral of 22 year old Marine John Thornton, killed on active service in Afghanistan. 1500 people, a huge screen, sniffer dogs, a Red Arrow, a Sea Harrier, and an unknowing encounter with Marine Fred Frederick, who now shares my staircase at Ridley. My calendar also informs me that we took small pots to church - I'm sure it meant something at the time!

May was the month I left NXP, and we took the last big family holiday for a few years - Venice beckoned.

I spent most of June and July fixing the house ready for new tenants, and then I started the blog. All too soon came the leaving parties, fun and tears.

August had us saying "no we haven't gone yet" - after several rounds of goodbyes we refused to move until it was actually time to do so. And then we went. All 2500 cubic feet of furniture, books and plants.

September - acclimatisation to Cambridge, new schools and back to school for me. End of reliance on NXP money as the grant arrived, but at the same time having to get used to pay days only coming round once every three months now...

October, only 3 weeks into term, I find myself facing a chapel of ordinands and leading them in prayer on the morning that Mark Autherson died.

November disappeared in a blur of lectures and reading, and distractions on Facebook.

December saw the end of term, 6000 words of worry, and a packed house at Christmas. Now on New Year's Eve I'm being reminded that it's time to go - a party beckons.

Goodbye 2008. For me 2009 is fairly certain - lots more Ridley. For you it may be less certain but I pray that you'll see God's guiding hand in your life.

Kings and Queens

2008-12-30T04:43:00.001-08:00

We had a little wander around Cambridge yesterday. Actually it was more like a route march, as the children had an urgent need to deposit their Christmas money in the tills of willing retailers. We parked at Ridley and walked into the city centre. Getting stuck behind the inevitable gaggle of tourists (yes, even in the back end of December) I took avoiding action and ducked into a side-street. But not any old side street. This was Queen's Lane - the lane on which you'll find the oldest part of Queen's College. And it's here that we were reminded that students can be silly old sausages. Here's a picture of the absent statue of the founder, Margaret of Anjou, the Queen of Henry VI. Look carefully and you'll see the modern replacement. Beside her, the equivalent statue on King's College, founded by Henry VI.

Sharper eyed viewers may have noticed that the statue is actually of Henry VIII. He finished what his ancestor started, so got to choose who the statues were of!

Cambridge is a completely different place out of term-time. Most of the students have gone home to Mater and Pater, and you can walk in pedestrianised areas without fear of being mowed down by a random cyclist. Although I did bump into my Greek teacher on Friday....

Hallelujah!

2008-12-19T11:33:00.000-08:00

Eddie Izzard said "There's something phenomenally dreary about Christians singing....the Church of England is the only group of people that could sing Hallelujah without feeling like it's a Hallelujah thing" - watch this (but not if you're easily offended - contains language that I won't be using from the pulpit)

There's a good chance that this year's Christmas Number One will be X-factor winner Alexandra singing 'Hallelujah', a song first written by Leonard Cohen. In fact there are three versions of the song now competing in the charts, the original Cohen version, the 'definitive' Buckley version, and the Alexandra version.

Is Cohen trying his best to send us to sleep? If this song was being sung as worship to you would you feel you were being worshipped? Alexandra certainly cannot be accused of a lack of passion in this performance.

When you next 'stand before the Lord of song with nothing upon your tongue but Hallelujah' will it be in the style of Cohen or Alexandra? How much sincere passion will you put into your praise?

At this point of course the more observant amongst you will have noticed that this song isn't really that Christmassy, neither is it an act of worship, it being an express tour through some interesting Old Testament stories, starting with the musical King David watching Bathsheba's rooftop bath (if that sparks your interest in the OT, go to 2 Samuel Chapter 12 for more).

But I hope you get my point.

Let the holidays begin

2008-12-19T02:17:00.000-08:00

All done! Church History essay and New Testament essay finished and ready to print out and hand in.

So there will be a short bike ride a little later today to my study at Ridley to print them out, hand them in and return a huge pile of books.

After that I'm free to relax. Did I say relax? I meant to say 'do the huge list of jobs that Tasha has been preparing for me'.

Window cleaning here we come. At some point I might even get to celebrate Christmas and remember what it's all about.

One down, one to go

2008-12-12T04:33:00.000-08:00

A milestone!

The Church History essay is finished. Well, nearly - it's written, and will now be put aside for a day or so to brew, at which point I'll go back to it, read it afresh, tweak it, and hand it in.

In the meantime I'll make a start on the New Testament one. Once I've fully recovered from the after effects of last night's Ridley Hall Christmas Party. I've never seen so much wine on one table!

Further distractions

2008-12-11T05:52:00.000-08:00

We had a staircase breakfast and communion this morning, followed by a Hall Meeting (staff and students together, mulling over the term's events) which took us up to 11am.

I'm 2000 words into my first of two essays. The last 1000 words is going to be the difficult bit, so what better to do than get on with it, leaving the whole of next week free to polish off the second one.

Alternatively I could just check my e-mails, update my Facebook status, go for a cup of tea and have an interesting theological debate, pay a bill, meet Tasha after the spouses group and give a Christmas present. Before you know it there's only twenty minutes left before lunch, hardly worth starting now.

After lunch I hoovered my study (a very common essay avoidance tactic today, last day of term, when so many people discover where the hoover is kept), and then I thought I'd make another blog posting.

So here we are. I've run out of things to do. There's nothing now until chapel at 5.30. Three and a half hours. 1000 words. Head down, here we go.....

Avoidance Tactics

2008-12-08T12:41:00.000-08:00

So we've got past the end of lectures, and we're now into full essay writing mode. At least, we're trying to be. Just to help us fill out our precious reading and writing time there's plenty of things to help us postpone the inevitable.

Lectures finished on Wednesday. On Thursday morning there was a short meeting about a mission trip - only an hour, but add a cup of tea at both ends and that's a good 2 hours out of the way. In the afternoon there was a meeting of all the students (known as the 'Common Room meeting'), where we discussed weighty matters such as the financial and physical state of the college punt. I just know that if I'd gone to any other college I wouldn't have had to be worried about a punt! More tea, more time taken. A bit of reading and suddenly it's time to go home.

Friday was a College Quiet Day - each staircase does something prayerful and sociable. I'll write more about that in another article, but suffice to say that a lovely day in Coventry doesn't get much essay writing done.

Saturday and Sunday being the weekend are family time, and we haven't yet got to Emergency Essay Status so it was quite easy not to work. On Saturday evening one of our lecturers was having an Advent Party so we took a car full of students who all gawped at his converted church out in the middle of nowhere - it's like something out of a magazine. We're all incredibly covetous now.

Today (Monday) we had a Short Course (all morning) on Child Protection. Kind of ironic that I left my belt at home and spent much of this course pulling my trousers up. The afternoon involved a combination of filing, e-mailing and reading. When I eventually sat down with a book I did manage to speed read a 190 page book in an afternoon. I'm now about as knowledgeable as I'd like to be about the persecution of the Christians by the Roman Empire. Until tomorrow, when after another Short Course ('Reading Scripture Out Loud') - I'll read two more books on the Romans! And after that I intend to write the essay on them.

More Greek than I thought

2008-12-02T12:33:00.000-08:00

We had a Greek test yesterday - exam conditions for the first time in many years, even if it was only 45 minutes long.

Tensions leading up to the actual event were running high, or maybe not. I was pretty laid back about it. I wanted to make sure I did as well as I could, but after vocabulary stopped sinking in I stopped revising, deciding that if I didn't know it by now I wasn't going to know it. All through this term Greek has been the subject that's got my least attention - I'm not a natural linguist, and other subjects have captured my interest to a greater degree. At times the only thing that was keeping me going was the label in the front of my textbook reminding me that my youth group had presented it to me as a leaving present - I couldn't quit Greek and let them down!

Looking back I don't know what I was afraid of - the test was actually relatively harmless, and I don't think anybody failed. Fear of the unknown was the dominating factor.

24 hours later we got the results. At 86% my Greekness is approaching Prince Philip proportions. Our Greek teacher Mark took us to Starbucks to celebrate. 'Accompanied us' would be a more accurate description - Rebecca seemed to pay for most of the coffee!

So here's a few pictures of the celebration, I'll let you meet my new Cambridge friends:

Me in a rented hat

Chris in a rented hat

Mark and Jude (no hat)

Rebecca (no hat), Gill and Sam

Helping Ridley Hall when you use Amazon

2008-11-28T06:51:00.000-08:00

When you buy things through Amazon.co.uk, why not help Ridley Hall at the same time by following this link before browsing? All purchases made this way will benefit Ridley Hall, as Amazon donates a percentage of your purchase costs to the college, at no extra cost to you.

http://www.ridley.cam.ac.uk/amazon.html

Ridley Hall - every little helps!

End of Term approaches

2008-11-28T06:15:00.000-08:00

I don't know how we got here this fast, but we're getting to the end of term. We seem to have three end of terms - Dec 3rd is 'end of lectures', Dec 12th is 'end of term' and by Dec 22nd I have to hand two essays in.

Of course, those nearest and dearest to me latch onto the earlier date, but the reality is that the gaps between those short Cambridge terms are quickly filled with other stuff, especially for those of us who are only here for two years and have to fit lots of non-lecture based training requirements into our holiday slots. I've already had to start thinking about which church I'll spend a month in next summer and where and when I will do a mission trip. The family calendar is getting filled up in advance like never before, and the trick is to reserve family holiday time first! I have no idea when I'll get back to Ferndown - the family Christmas is going to be in Cambridge, and there isn't much time spare.

With end of lectures approaching there's a change of focus as individual subject courses are coming to an end. We've 'done' the New Testament, and by Monday I will have re-read through it all since starting in September - mostly by reading through whole books in a single sitting - you ought to try it. We've covered Church History from 0 to 1000AD, I've learnt the basics of the ancient Greek language in the last nine weeks and I have a formal test on it on Monday - and I've never felt less prepared for a test.

After lectures finish it's time to turn our attention to other areas: First Years have a half day session on Child Protection, and my staircase has a Prayer Day for which we'll be visiting Coventry Cathedral - the new hangout of former Principal of Ridley, Bishop Chris Cocksworth. Also there's an opportunity to find out about a mission trip for next Easter, and an 'end of first term' tutorial with my tutor.

Around all that there's reading to do in preparation for those essays. I have to write one for New Testament, and one for Church History, each of 3000 words (that's about 6 pages of A4). The preference seems to be for you to have read 4 or 5 books in researching each topic - that might sound a lot, but actually you're not reading a book from cover to cover, just skimming through for the relevant bits. The danger of doing this is that you'll mis-read something and get the point wrong.

I handed in a formative essay for New Testament this week and got good informal feedback on my writing style, and we have a Study Skills session coming up to coach us through essay writing, so things aren't looking too bad in the essay department.

However, with the upcoming lack of structure comes the potential to be mightily distracted. My reading is a bit behind to the tune of 3 hours or so, but my new Bible has beautiful tabs marking the location of each book. My laptop is a valuable tool for writing, but also for Facebook, and writing blogs when I could be revising Greek. And there are so many interesting books in the library, but unless I'm writing about those subjects I haven't got time to read them!

Must go - I have to read through Acts of the Apostles in a single sitting before Monday.

All in white shall wait around

2008-11-24T14:55:00.000-08:00

I preached my first sermon at St George's Chesterton yesterday, and I got to dress up to do so.

No jeans and T-shirt preaching here - in the attached picture you see me in an ordinand's robes. Close inspection may lead you to the conclusion that the robe is borrowed - you'd be right - I'll have to buy my own before I'm ordained, and I might even consider not wearing trainers for the occasion.

Preaching from the same pulpit as a former curate, one Rowan Williams, was a novel experience - I was elevated to on high and was looking down onto the masses. It was a bit wierd to have everybody straining their necks to see me, and to be constrained in the box, not wandering around a stage on a radio mike.

All very different from St Mary's Ferndown. Which is why I'm there.