Whimsical looking vicars

There's nothing like a good reality shock to prepare you for what's ahead.

This is the time of year when the 'tat fair' hits Ridley. In other words the day when the suppliers of clergy paraphenalia visit to flaunt their wares. They're mostly focussed on clothing, but there is also the opportunity to buy packs of candles, palm leaves (£15.84 for a 7ft branch), purificators, incense grains, fibreglass stations of the cross, holy socks (yes, really), hymn boards, monstrances and augustine albs. And before you ask I don't know what all of those are or why I would want many of them.

I went not because I needed to, but just to give myself 12 months to get used to the idea. I had a nice chat with one of the ladies about people's expectations of you and your robes, and what it says about you. Even if you don't do full robes every Sunday, do you wear them for weddings and funerals, and does it make a difference to what you wear for these events if the people are churchgoers or not? A hoodie-with-dog-collar might be useful in some circumstances, but entirely inappropriate in others. Plain blue shirt or grey denim today? Cerise or lemon? (oh, that's the ladies section...)

I've got a nice selection of catalogues, with pictures of vicars modelling shirts and looking whimsically into the middle distance. I've seen all styles of clerical shirts, T-shirts and hoodies (made to measure in any colour or style of my choosing). One of them looked more like a Brownie uniform than a vicar's shirt, but it's nice to know that it's available. I've seen stoles, cassock albs, surplices, and Fairtrade shirts, but I've declined the opportunity to try on. Not just yet thanks. Some first years are in total denial and won't even go in the room until their final year.

For some of those in their final year this was a big reality shock. In 4 months time they will need the outfit for their ordination service. One of my staircase colleagues has simply limited herself to a hoodie and a single clerical shirt - it's all she can face at this stage. For the final year students it's beginning to hit home that something big happens later this year, when the academic side is over and it's time to hit the streets.