End Times

Back at the ranch, college life draws rapidly to a close. With all the formal teaching over, and lecturers with their heads in marking our assignments it's time to amuse the students with some time fillers. Oh, and the clerical shirts have arrived!

Thursday 27th May: The Church Commissioners visit to talk to us about the essential matter of stipends and clergy pensions. Not the world's most thrilling topic, and much of it was duplicated with the superior talk we had from a private tax advisor earlier in the term. But I learnt (or was reminded of) several important points:

• I'm not going to be an employee, I'll be an office holder.


• I will not have an employer, nor a contract. But for tax purposes, I work for the Church Commissioners.


• I am not paid a salary, but a stipend which frees me up from the need to work in order to carry out my ministry (this seems to be a bit of a technicality - I give my working time to the church, they pay me a fixed amount of money at the end of every month - sounds like any other job I've had)


• I cannot claim for a duck-house on expenses.

Friday 28th May: Ecclesiastical Insurance presentation. After an hour of sales pitch about investments, ISAs and (more) pensions I ask the obvious question about when they are going to talk about house and car insurance. Which they're not...

Tuesday 1st June: 'Second Chair Leadership' - or 'how to be a leader in the church without being in charge'. An excellent insight for curates who are straining at the leash to be let loose on a church but don't want to fall out with everybody in the first week. In the afternoon we have a debriefing session with the Principal, in which we reflect on our time at Ridley and give constructive feedback.

Weds 2nd June - Fri 4th June: Funerals, Death and Dying. An aptly timed course on what we could be asked to do within our first few days in the parish. We look at the intricacies of the funeral service, visiting the family, aftercare, and a whole load of other stuff. We each deliver a short eulogy/sermon on a fictional character - at the end of this session we all realise that the scenarios given were for tricky situations, all involving mixtures of early / tragic / sudden deaths, just to provide us with that little extra challenge. As I write I'm waiting to go off to the Funeral Directors, dressed appropriately smartly - I'm wearing shoes (rather than trainers) to 'work' for the first time in two years!

Meanwhile, it's half term, and the rest of the family is in the new house in Wiltshire, picking up where I left off last week, finishing the painting, laying floors and hanging curtains.

One Year On - Remembering Mark

It's a year today since Mark Autherson died*. So when we met as a staircase group for prayers this morning I took the opportunity to remember Mark, and to offer the opportunity for people to light a candle in memory of people they have loved and lost.

I used music and pictures alongside the first part of Psalm 139, a piece of prose, and some prayers from the Anglican funeral and memorial services. I wasn't prepared for the raw emotions that would surface, and while I had warned people that it would be quiet and reflective I should also have told them to bring tissues and waterproof make-up.

I used the song 'Perfect Sacrifice' by Trent Vineyard's worship band 'Trent' (go to i-tunes, search for the song title, then buy the whole live album!). Listen to the words carefully - the song was written after the sudden death of a church member, and talks of the continuing hope that his widow had in Jesus, at a time when she could either have run from God or run to Him. Christians believe in life after death - death is just a horizon that we can't see beyond, and it's not something we need to be afraid of.


*see my entry from October 24th 2008

The "Essex Princess"

So Jade's time on Earth is over. Farewell Jade. You were interesting.

I've been watching these last few weeks with fascination, and morbidly waiting for the end - every time I've gone online I've headed for the BBC website looking for bad news. Love her or hate her, Jade has done wonders for cervical cancer screening rates nationwide and her public fight for life has made many younger people contemplate their eternal fate where previously they thought they were invincible.

There are enough articles on the web already commenting on how Jade has used the media to her own advantage over the last few years, so I'm not going to make further comment on that, but a few things have struck me.

1. It's Mother's Day today. I'm sure Jade's not the only mother who has died today, but she's the one who is getting all the attention. She's left two little boys, who in all likelihood had made her a card and bought a present that they will not get to deliver to her. That's happening up and down the country today, to children young and old, but everybody else is doing their mourning out of the public glare.

2. Jade's mum Jackiey said this: "My beautiful daughter is at peace. Family and friends would like privacy at last". That's ironic then. I'm guessing that family weren't too comfortable with Jade's hunger for attention.

3. Jade's spirituality. In her last few weeks Jade did some interesting things. She got married, she was baptised and she got her children baptised. I've read some interesting things about her motivations for these (I'm a bit concerned that she may have gone for the 'baptism will get me into Heaven' ticket, and also heard that she'd been hedging bets with other faiths too) but by now she'll have had the conversation with Jesus where he looks for her name in the Book Of Life (I always think that sounds a bit Monty Python-ish) and her eternal destination will have been determined by her personal relationship with him, and nothing else.

4. Bishop Jonathan Blake performed the blessing at her wedding and was interviewed on BBC News this morning. He's an interesting character. Very convincing, and from the same vein as Jade and Max Clifford. I didn't know that we had a Bishop of Greater London. Oh, we don't. And neither does the Catholic church. Or any other mainstream Christian church. At the risk of increasing his self publicity here's a link: http://www.bishopjonathanblake.com/. Just look at what he's not saying about himself and make your own decision. At least I know where to go if I have any trouble getting ordained!

I'm off to watch the news now - the public reaction to this is going to be interesting. I'll be watching for what people say when they drop some petrol station flowers off at the gates of her house, and for what they don't say - what being English prevents them from saying....

More news from East Angular soon.