End Times

Back at the ranch, college life draws rapidly to a close. With all the formal teaching over, and lecturers with their heads in marking our assignments it's time to amuse the students with some time fillers. Oh, and the clerical shirts have arrived!

Thursday 27th May: The Church Commissioners visit to talk to us about the essential matter of stipends and clergy pensions. Not the world's most thrilling topic, and much of it was duplicated with the superior talk we had from a private tax advisor earlier in the term. But I learnt (or was reminded of) several important points:

• I'm not going to be an employee, I'll be an office holder.


• I will not have an employer, nor a contract. But for tax purposes, I work for the Church Commissioners.


• I am not paid a salary, but a stipend which frees me up from the need to work in order to carry out my ministry (this seems to be a bit of a technicality - I give my working time to the church, they pay me a fixed amount of money at the end of every month - sounds like any other job I've had)


• I cannot claim for a duck-house on expenses.

Friday 28th May: Ecclesiastical Insurance presentation. After an hour of sales pitch about investments, ISAs and (more) pensions I ask the obvious question about when they are going to talk about house and car insurance. Which they're not...

Tuesday 1st June: 'Second Chair Leadership' - or 'how to be a leader in the church without being in charge'. An excellent insight for curates who are straining at the leash to be let loose on a church but don't want to fall out with everybody in the first week. In the afternoon we have a debriefing session with the Principal, in which we reflect on our time at Ridley and give constructive feedback.

Weds 2nd June - Fri 4th June: Funerals, Death and Dying. An aptly timed course on what we could be asked to do within our first few days in the parish. We look at the intricacies of the funeral service, visiting the family, aftercare, and a whole load of other stuff. We each deliver a short eulogy/sermon on a fictional character - at the end of this session we all realise that the scenarios given were for tricky situations, all involving mixtures of early / tragic / sudden deaths, just to provide us with that little extra challenge. As I write I'm waiting to go off to the Funeral Directors, dressed appropriately smartly - I'm wearing shoes (rather than trainers) to 'work' for the first time in two years!

Meanwhile, it's half term, and the rest of the family is in the new house in Wiltshire, picking up where I left off last week, finishing the painting, laying floors and hanging curtains.

A week of contrasts

A real mixed week - it started with a 2.5 day Intensive Course on "Sexuality and the Pastoral Encounter". This is a requirement of the Church of England, and it's not one that many people look forward to - it has the potential for some serious controversy. We looked at attitudes to relationships, marriage, sex, homosexuality, before eventually getting round to the title of the course in the last 3 hours, where we looked at appropriate boundaries for behaviour and protecting ourselves, given that our job is likely to find us alone with people...

Following that I led Morning Prayer in chapel on Thursday morning, the day that lectures resumed. I commemorated St Edmund, briefly summarising his life as 'a former Archbishop of Canterbury at a time when belief in God was not a requirement of the job. His immediate predecessors in the job met with sudden and violent deaths, and to avoid a similar fate he disguised himself as a nun and hid in a convent'. This story raised a few giggles in chapel, with a member of staff overheard saying "Those were the good old days!". I then continued with the service for the next 30 minutes. However, I have to confess my St Edmund was a complete wind-up. St Edmund's Day isn't in January, and the Edmund Archbishop of Canterbury that I was referring to was the one portrayed by Rowan Atkinson in the first series of Blackadder!

Divine justice was dealt later in the day when a major electrical fault cut the power to 1/3rd of the college in the late afternoon. In the growing darkness our weekly Thursday evening Communion service was cancelled, and a half cooked dinner was distributed to staircase kitchens for completion!

Finally, today we were in a 'Life and Service' class, learning about the right and wrong ways to do funerals, and reflecting on how you may have to go from a funeral to a school assembly or a baptism visit when we got a text message telling us of the imminent birth of yet another Ridley baby. A perfect illustration of the point!

One Year On - Remembering Mark

It's a year today since Mark Autherson died*. So when we met as a staircase group for prayers this morning I took the opportunity to remember Mark, and to offer the opportunity for people to light a candle in memory of people they have loved and lost.

I used music and pictures alongside the first part of Psalm 139, a piece of prose, and some prayers from the Anglican funeral and memorial services. I wasn't prepared for the raw emotions that would surface, and while I had warned people that it would be quiet and reflective I should also have told them to bring tissues and waterproof make-up.

I used the song 'Perfect Sacrifice' by Trent Vineyard's worship band 'Trent' (go to i-tunes, search for the song title, then buy the whole live album!). Listen to the words carefully - the song was written after the sudden death of a church member, and talks of the continuing hope that his widow had in Jesus, at a time when she could either have run from God or run to Him. Christians believe in life after death - death is just a horizon that we can't see beyond, and it's not something we need to be afraid of.


*see my entry from October 24th 2008

Jade's funeral

I was a little surprised when I turned on the TV at lunchtime to find BBC News carrying live coverage of Jade's funeral, even though I shouldn't have been - our final chance to see every aspect of her life being broadcast.

I've been sceptical about Jade's personal faith, but reading the text of the sermon preached at her funeral I take it back - the vicar who knew Jade best in these last few weeks is quite clear that Jade genuinely turned to Jesus as she faced death. I hope the wider church is ready to welcome all those who come through its doors in the coming weeks and months asking the same questions as Jade.

For the text of the sermon go to: http://www.chelmsford.anglican.org/jade-goodys-life-celebrated-at-buckhurst-hill-church.html and then pick up that dusty copy of the Bible, turn to Luke's Gospel, read it for yourself (it will only take about an hour - same as an episode of Big Brother) and make your own decision.

Light and Dark

"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not put it out" - John 1 verse 5.

Last Sunday night, whilst the family were warmly tucked up in their cosy villa at Center Parcs, I was making my way back to Cambridge in order not to miss fun-packed lectures on Monday morning. This meant that I had to cycle about 6 miles to the nearest railway station, from where I could get a train back home. Being night it was dark, and when I set out the moon was shining down from a clear sky. I was looking forward to my moonlit crossing of Thetford Forest. However by the time I got out onto the road it had clouded over - there was little light coming from the sky, and my tiny little bike light wasn't much use in helping me to make out the edge of the road. My eyes adapted and night vision kicked in quite quickly.

The occasional car overtook me, and for a while the light from them shining ahead of me was useful. And then cars started coming towards me. Even with their headlights dipped I was suddenly disoriented, and had to slow down and almost come to a stop to ensure that I didn't steer into their path. My little light was insignificant compared to the headlights, but it still shone, and was still there. It's at this point that you are waiting for the great analogy with Jesus. You're going to have to wait.

On Tuesday it was Mark Autherson's funeral, which you can read about on his blog: http://pleasepray4markautherson.blogspot.com/2008/11/marks-funeral-time-to-remember-marks.html.
It was an emotional event, and a number of us at Ridley are struggling with the 'why Mark?' question. A man taken from us far too early, leaving a young wife and 3 small children. I just can't cope with seeing a woman younger than me carrying a baby into her husband's funeral. I did a lot of crying in that church. Despite the brilliant sunshine outside lighting up the bright and airy church, despite the celebration of his life, despite the warm stories and emotional tributes and the reassurance that Mark is now free of pain and with Jesus, it was still a dark day.

But as I've been reflecting about it this week I keep coming back to that cycle ride through the forest. It was dark, but my little bike light was shining. Occasionally it was overpowered or overtaken by a brighter light, which allowed me a brief glimpse of the road ahead. But at no point did the darkness win. There was always a light shining in the darkness. My light was nothing compared to the glory of the bigger light, but it was still contributing in keeping the darkness at bay.

Never let your light go out.

"The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not put it out"