An inconvenience

I couldn't quite believe it when I read this article about proposals to put up railings around a former church in Cambridge city centre. The message that comes across is "the homeless and drunks are an inconvenience and we don't want anything to do with them. They are somebody else's problem".

Now, the Round Church isn't actually a church anymore. The former congregation now worship elsewhere, and it's being run as some sort of arts centre / intellectual talking shop. But it's run by an organisation called 'Christian Heritage'. The Christian response to the homeless problem should be to offer support, not to lock them out. In another place on their website they start to answer this criticism, but hide behind excuses that their charitable status doesn't enable them to contribute directly but that they (presumably intellectually) support the work of a local charity 'Wintercomfort', who seem to be much more switched on. Their response in a later newspaper article needs no further comment by me, apart from "well said!"

Ironically, Christian Heritage advertise for student interns to join them to learn "more about our unique approach to Christian engagement with contemporary culture". It's certainly an innovative apporach that Jesus would not have taken.

Christian Heritage - I'm not impressed. You use the labels 'church' and 'Christian' yet your actions tell otherwise.

The Cost of Marriage

...there, that's got you reading on hasn't it? What's been going on in the vicarofdidley's household? Actually nothing of excitement or intrigue....but I did read this article on the BBC website, with marriage being the subject of a new green paper.

There's so much in there that I could talk about. Labour seeing any "stable and lasting relationship" as a good basis for child welfare, versus the Tories arguing that marriage helps keep couples together for the benefit of the children. I'm with the Tories on this one.

They then go on to talk about tax breaks for married couples, something which has been slowly pulled apart by the last few governments (of both flavours), but it's at this point that I start to fall asleep. However, there's something else they don't expand upon, which surely is a major obstacle for getting married, and that's the perceived cost of the wedding day itself.

The current figure for the 'cost of a wedding', based on newspaper and magazine articles that I've read seems to be around £30,000. Now I don't know how much my own wedding cost, as I only paid a small part of it (the bits that the groom traidtionally pays for), and it was 15 years ago, but I'm sure it was nowhere near this. Only a couple of generations ago a wedding reception was a simple meal back at home. Now it's been turned into an industry of 'essentials' that are mostly superfluous trimmings.

The actual cost of a church wedding = the ceremony, registration fees etc, is around £300 - 1% of that £30,000 figure. How do people manage to inflate it so much?

I'm going to enjoy meeting and preparing engaged couples for their marriage. I'll do everything I can to encourage more to get married, maybe by attending local wedding fairs (most people don't realise they are entitled to get married in church) but there's little I can do about the things people tack onto the side of a wedding, that build a huge financial hurdle that will burden somebody for a long time.

And finally, the Tories green paper will suggest "the offering of relationship advice at civil ceremonies". That sounds awfully like a wedding sermon by another name. The last time I went to a civil ceremony the mention of God was banned, so I wonder on what basis that relationship advice will be given?

The holiday begins

I know, teaching finished 3 weeks ago and term 11 days ago, but I don't count my holiday as actually having started until my work is handed in.

I've finally written what I needed to write about 'Divorce and Remarriage' and 'The Unity of the Church'. The second one was subtitled 'The One Show', but I suppose both could have been....

Both essays were handed in at Ridey at 2256hrs last night on my way to pick Beth and her friends up from their Super Hero Ball.

So, now the break begins! I can start to relax by attacking the list of jobs that has been prepared for me....

It's Corsham and Lacock

Having visited the Bishop of Swindon yesterday (yes I did, he even mentions me on his blog entry for the day) and having received and accepted his offer of a job, I can finally announce the news that I'll be ordained and licensed as the Curate in the Team Ministry of Greater Corsham and Lacock* in Bristol Cathedral on Sunday July 4th 2010. I'm not sure how many others will be ordained at the same time, but if you want to come and sit close together I'm sure there will be room! The picture is of St Bartholomew's, Corsham, taken while eating our lunch in the churchyard on our first visit!

'Corsham and Lacock' is a group of 5 churches over a diverse urban, rural and agricultural area. My boss (more formally 'my training incumbent') will be the Rev. Sally Wheeler, the Vicar of Lacock. I'll be working mostly with her on her patch in Lacock, but cropping up from time to time in the other churches.

Corsham is a country town, population about 15000, Lacock is a National Trust village frequently used for filming (e.g. Cranford, Harry Potter), Neston is where the set for 'Lark Rise' is, I've yet to discover Gastard's claim to fame and have to confess that we ran out of time to go to Bowden Hill. But I feel exhausted just listing them, never mind flitting around them for the next four years!

We'll move in mid June 2010 and will be living in the Vicarage in Neston village, where hopefully Isaac will be able to attend the village primary school over the garden fence (go on Google Earth, Neston - Wiltshire and you'll see house, school and church in one handy package). Beth wants to go to Corsham School, a short bus ride away, so the next couple of weeks will see us filling in school application forms and getting proof of residency from the Diocese. It's a spacious four bedroomed bungalow, with a good sized garden, and we're looking forwards to getting our hands on it and turning it into our home.

Exciting times ahead!

*(subject to completion of training, other terms and conditions may apply, the value of curates may go up as well as down)

Last week of term

So I'm a still a little behind on blogging, but I'm getting there with the essays.

The last week of term, which appropriately was last week, was a little busy. Monday saw the Gospel Choir out singing in a shopping centre in Cambridge. Not sure if people knew why we were doing it, but it was fun singing at innocent shoppers for an hour, even if I had only learnt one song on the day, having never heard it before. And not a carol in sight, or sound.

Tuesday saw the non-first years having a half-day course on Managing Change in the Church - making us aware of how change is perceived by different types of people, and how to approach things so that people will want to engage with change rather than resist it every step of the way.

Wednesday was actually a day off - got lots of reading and writing done.

Thursday, not a chance of doing anything, with my diary packed full of little one-off meetings and events, starting with a Hall Meeting (all staff and students) and culminating in the annual Advent Carol Service and after that the Christmas Dinner/Party/Revue/Ceilidh. Which was nice, but the layout of Ridley offers little opportunity for mingling spaces. Suddenly it was all over, people had disappeared and we realised that we won't see most of them again for a month.

All those 'Happy Christmas' wishes remain unsaid.....

Sermon Class

Last Sunday I had one of those strange Ridley anomalies - a piece of work that is highly critical, yet which I can't pass or fail. Sermon Class.

This means that a small group of students, along with one of the tutors, comes along to my attachment church and listens to me preach. Shortly afterwards we then sit together and constructively criticise what we've said/heard. As there is a group of six of us this basically means that for six of the Sundays this term and next we are absent from our attachment churches. With each term being so short it feels like I've hardly been at St Georges this term.

It went well. I learnt that when I give examples of things I should make them a bit more anonymous, and a little less personal, so that there is less chance of being unintentionally misunderstood ("aren't I great" is never a good feeling to broadcast from the pulpit). I was also paid a great compliment by my tutor. Which was nice. And I'll resist the temptation to tell you what it was, because it's never good to use your position to say "aren't I great"!!

On balance, a very positive, affirming experience.

"Poor C Staircase, locked up in a cell"

Apologies to Tim Rice for ripping off his lyrics there....

It's been a bit busy these last few days of term since timetabled activities finished and lots of other things crept in. So I now have a backlog of things to write about, as well as trying to finish off the essays that are due in soon. But I can only read so many books in a day before I need to do something else, and writing this is a welcome alternative.

About a week ago we had 'College Quiet Day', where each staircase group does something quiet and reflective for a day, instead of hiding in studies. Last year we went to Coventry Cathedral, new haunt of Bishop Chris Cocksworth, former Ridley Principal. This year students and spouses alike* jumped on the train at Cambridge station and got off at Norwich. There we enjoyed a nice wander around Norwich Cathedral, stopping off in a side chapel for a contemplation of Psalm 23.

After which we had a guided tour and lunch at a 'New Frontiers' church, where none of my female colleagues were bold enough to enquire as to their opinions on the role of women in church leadership. That aside, this is a great example of a church with vision, engaging in the community by running a cafe and conference centre in the week and using for themselves. The profits from the business more than pay for the running costs of the buildings, allowing them the funds to further expand their ministry into other areas of Norwich.

Finally, we visited the Julian Centre, where Julian of Norwich withdrew from the worldly life in the 1500's, living in solitude in her cell for most of her long life. After observing the interesting juxtaposition of nativity animals (left) we then tried not to giggle as we were told the story of Julian. Once we had calmed down , we spent 20 minutes in a led meditation / breathing exercise in Julian's cell. Except it wasn't really her cell, as the building was flattened in WWII, and when it was rebuilt it was made bigger, with a doorway brought in from somewhere else, a bigger window, different floor etc, etc..... Not that this distracted me at the time. I was still thinking of the nativity scene.

And then it was back home for tea.

Thanks to Fred for the pictures.

* The stomach bug which was ravaging the college at the time prevented 2 students and 1 wife from attending. Which left Tash as the sole spouse representative!

Curacy and curiouser

Just a quick update.

Old Diocese and New Diocese are exchanging correspondence about me and nobody in New Diocese can find anything in them to 'cause concern'. That's a good sign!

I have an appointment to meet my New Bishop in a couple of weeks time. This will be a formal interview, a bit of 'getting to know you' but definitely more than a cup of tea and a fireside chat. It's also the final step in securing the job.

All is well.

Progress Report

Things went well on Thursday. We both got on well with the vicar, she (for a lady she is) wants us to go there, we want to go there, so it's pretty much a deal. We've held off a couple of days since the visit, just in case either side had second thoughts, but we didn't.

However, there are some formalities to go through yet with the local churches, the diocese and the Bishop, so I'm not yet able to go public and share details with you. If you phone me up and ask me I'll tell you, but it's not going on Facebook or this blog until we've got the official nod. It's not a million miles from Ferndown, and within spitting distance of my 'old' diocese.

It's a bit strange how quickly our perceptions change. A month ago Salisbury was 'my' diocese (and technically remains so until I finish at Ridley and they finish supporting me in June), but now a different Diocese has appeared on my internet favourites list. I still have allegiances to several past and current churches, but for the last 18 months I've never been too sure who is my vicar - now suddenly somebody has a 'my new boss/vicar' label and when I get new ideas I start making mental plans for how that might look applied to this new location.

And so you'll have to wait a bit longer to find out. But we know where we're going with enough certainty to start contacting schools and to get measured for wax jackets and green wellies. You'll have to phone my mum to find out.

Balance

There's a bit of a conflict going on in me at the moment. Trying to balance academic work with the job search is a bit of a struggle.

This Thursday me and Tash will be visiting a parish in the South-West, spending a day with the vicar and trying to work out if it:
(a) could be a good working relationship
(b) could be somewhere that we feel we could live and work
(c) is going to throw up anything unexpected

I'm trying to prepare myself by coming up with all sorts of questions that I want to ask, and trying to anticipate what is going to be asked of me. After I'd written my own list I then looked at the handy list provided by the college, which just made my list even longer. Hopefully the day won't merely consist of us each asking the questions off of pieces of paper.

And this is all distracting me from the work I need to do to keep my head above water in this terms disciplines of Doctrine and Ethics. Lots of reading to do, not only for the weekly seminars, but now also the essay deadlines loom about 6 weeks away....

Making progress

It's interesting how you make decisions based on sketchy information and then change them when you find out more. We've been looking at the details of four different curacies over the last 2 weeks - some of which we knew little about at the point of first contact, others for which we had a full 20 page 'Parish Profile'.

As time has gone on and I've gradually got the same level of information about each one the mental priorities we've had have been constantly adjusting up and down. Two parishes that we thought we liked the sound of turns out not to be so great, one that I'd love to be in hasn't responded as yet (so I can assume that someone else has been offered that one. And the one I wasn't sure about initially is now looking very interesting and wants to talk to me more.

So now I need to arrange a date to visit a friendly vicar, to go and find out if we think we can work together and to get a feel for the area and the churches. If we both like each other, everybody will be happy. My initial phone conversation was encouraging, so let's see what happens.

Curacy News

Things are looking OK on the curacy front. I've been in touch with a friendly bishop who has some interesting places that I could look at.

You have to be related to me to find out more. Or if you're at Ridley you can believe the rumours. Or if you're a former CYFA member you'll remember our unoffical mascot.

That's all I'm going to say for now.

One Year On - Remembering Mark

It's a year today since Mark Autherson died*. So when we met as a staircase group for prayers this morning I took the opportunity to remember Mark, and to offer the opportunity for people to light a candle in memory of people they have loved and lost.

I used music and pictures alongside the first part of Psalm 139, a piece of prose, and some prayers from the Anglican funeral and memorial services. I wasn't prepared for the raw emotions that would surface, and while I had warned people that it would be quiet and reflective I should also have told them to bring tissues and waterproof make-up.

I used the song 'Perfect Sacrifice' by Trent Vineyard's worship band 'Trent' (go to i-tunes, search for the song title, then buy the whole live album!). Listen to the words carefully - the song was written after the sudden death of a church member, and talks of the continuing hope that his widow had in Jesus, at a time when she could either have run from God or run to Him. Christians believe in life after death - death is just a horizon that we can't see beyond, and it's not something we need to be afraid of.


*see my entry from October 24th 2008

Deacon Blue

Deacon: It was the turn of 'C' staircase's to organise the weekly College Communion service this week. Whilst others took on the roles of music, prayer, readings and techie stuff, I chose to be deacon. Which means that I stuck on a cassock and angel wings, stood at the front and led the service, apart from the bits that I'm not yet qualified to do. All went swimmingly, it all knitted together really well, and I was floating on air for 24 hours

Blue: Then the Saturday morning post arrived, and in it was a letter from my Bishop, informing me that I have been 'Released'. This means that Salisbury Diocese (from whence I was sent) have been unable to match me and my training needs with a curacy post in a suitable Salisbury parish. So now I'm free to explore other options in any one of 43 other English dioceses. But I won't be coming back to Salisbury as a curate next year. That doesn't rule a return out after that, nor does it mean I can't go back in the meantime (for example, were any of my former youth group to want me to marry them that would be possible). But it does mean that next year might be shaped quite differently from how we had expected. And that's just completely thrown us.

Firstly, Saturday was a bit wierd. We both spent a lot of time on the phone and texting. For me it was a case of getting in touch with people who have been through the process recently or who know how this all works or who might know somebody who knows somebody who knows a friendly bishop. For Tash it was a case of leaning on her support network. It was just a constant barrage of phones, ringtones and text beeps!

Secondly, until something like this happens you don't realise how much you had been building your future on certain assumptions. I had assumed my ordination would be in Salisbury, which would have made it at the end of September, meaning we have a relatively leisurely move, set up house, start job, dawdle through the summer, get ordained. But most dioceses ordain in early July, so we could now be facing a really hectic June....

Now I start the next part of the process, but I’m not alone. I’ve just set up a photo map at college where we can see who has a job confirmed, and who hasn’t yet. At the moment there are only 5 people out of 30 who know for definite what is happening. I’m in good company with the other 25.

What happens next? I could sit back and wait, looking occasionally in the folder at college where all the vacancies are advertised – something which I have been doing casually over the last few weeks, just for practice so I can get a feel of reading about different churches and working out which ones appeal. Now I have to do that for real, and actually decide which ones do appeal, and if they still appeal when I realise where they are! Or I can be a bit more pro-active, and use my network of contacts to find out about things before they get to that folder. I’ve already done a bit of that and I’m waiting for some phone calls.

I’m afraid I’m going to have to be a bit cagey about places and churches now until I’ve got something sorted. We will have to visit places and decide whether or not we like them. It wouldn’t be fair to name somewhere and then tell you we’ve rejected it. So you’ll not know where I’ve looked, but you will know where I’ve finally settled on. Eventually.

Shipwrecked and Comatose

Red Dwarf fans will recognise the cultural reference here. It's exactly how I feel.

Somewhat prophetically my Facebook status this morning was: "Stephen wants to lie shipwrecked and comatose drinking fresh mango juice". Little did I realise how accurate that was going to be.

With the lecture timetable having finally kicked in I'm now getting accustomed to the rhythm of life for the next 8 weeks. This started last Thursday - with nothing timetabled for me. Friday had a couple of hours of 'Life and Service', where we looked at the content, shape and flow of the Communion service. Then it was the weekend!!

So far so good, not too stressful, and Monday continues that theme, where it's the afternoon before I settle down for a couple of hours of 'Christian Doctrine', in which we'll examine key areas of what Christianity actually believes. And that's where the fun stops.

Tuesdays are going to be my worst day, where I have a bit of every single module. Ethics, followed by double Gospel and Western Culture, followed by a Doctrine seminar, followed by Life and Service. There are breaks and lunch built in there somewhere, but during the afternoon sessions I was observed by my companions being comatose for short periods. It probably didn't help that in Doctrine we were talking about a particularly difficult passage by Archbishop Rowan Williams which very few of us had been able to make any sense of - thankfully the lecturers were struggling with it as much as us.

This evening I've been preparing the service for this week's College Communion where I'm helping lead the service. It's kept me out of trouble, as I sit on the sofa whilst Tash watches a film - the film seemed to fly past in five minutes as I grappled with the various liturgical options available to me....

Wednesdays look like they're going to be interesting - Gospel and Western Culture seminars and Double Ethics!

Score your vicar

It's been a bit of a quiet week this first week of term, which has meant that we've had time to complete a little project. The jokes might not mean much to you if you're outside the Ridley community of course, but there are potential applications of the candle technology in churches up and down the land.

Read carefully

This article caught my eye, because out of the corner of my eye I saw its title as 'Return to form for Rowan Williams'.

I wondered what the Boss has done now that warrants compliments from the BBC. It's only when I clicked on it that I realised I hadn't read it correctly.

It's still an interesting article though. Robbie's lyrics are usually laden with spiritual references - his album "Escapology" was a rich resource in my youth-work days a couple of years ago. 'Something Beautiful' brought us "You won't be lost hurt, tired and lonely, something beautiful will come your way", and 'Feel' offered "I don't want to die but I ain't keen on living either". Robbie asks the big questions.

The current single 'Bodies' from his latest offering is no exception. Robbie sings "if Jesus really died for me, then Jesus really tried for me". Spot on Robbie. Although later there is evidence that Robbie has rejected this when he replaces that with "Jesus didn't die for me".

In his authorised biography 'Feel' Robbie tells that he is constantly bombarded with correspondence from Christians who are trying to convert him. It's hardly a surprise when his songs are so full of his own spiritual search.

Safe to publish

I haven't written anything like this before because I thought I was being stereotypical and unfair, and in my new job I'm meant to challenge and demolish stereotypes. However, a conversation with one of the new students revealed that he has had similar experiences, so it must be true.

Soundbites of Cambridge:

1. Overheard following a well heeled family in the town centre, hovering near a tea room: "Mater, shall we venture inside this establishment? Tarquin rather fancies some tiffin". Translation: Mum, I'm just going to get some fridge cake"

2. While punting on the Cam, the day after exam results were out, the general sound was:
"Fwah, fwah, fwah, SPLASH. (pause) oh, Rupert! Pass the Pims"


Some things will never change. Cambridge, I love your ambience, but I'd find it really quite difficult to live with you permanently. You're just not my type.

Year 2 beckons

It's almost time to stop writing about 'what I did in my holidays' (although, just like school, I do have to do a presentation on that very subject) because it's nearly october, so it must be time to go back to Ridley!

However, the Back To School sales finished long ago. Because it's nearly Christmas. I will never get used to these Cambridge micro-terms. Mad. And traditional. Harder to change than the Church of England.

Over the last few weeks we've been meeting the first years who have been drifting into Cambridge and turning up to various social events. At first I found it hard to answer the question "What year are you in?", as I still felt like a first year. But as I've now answered the question enough times, or others have answered it for me, I can confidently say that I'm a second year. And that means it's also my final year.

I've looked at my course options and confirmed that they're not really options, in that having had no prior theological education I have to take the core modules, the plain vanilla option for the course. I do get a choice of which term I study the Old Testament in, and I do want to do one extra course which everybody recommends. The only question remaining for me now is one of assessment. I don't have to be assessed in all the courses in order to pass the course. So I'm looking carefully at the essay titles - if I understand the title now, before I start, I've got a good chance on that essay. If on the other hand the titles wash over me like Mr Bean talking I think I'll choose differently.

Still waiting patiently for the Bishop to drop any hints about a job though... Lord Bishop, if you're reading this - hello!

Holy Bones Batman!

I'm a little confused. Some of the bones of St Therese are currently touring the UK in order that those who believe that the relic will heal may touch them and be healed.

I have a few problems with this.

1. If you believe that God can supernaturally heal an illness (and I do, having heard enough modern day evidence for it from trusted friends) then why do you need to rely on channeling this belief through a long dead person's remains?

2. You can't actually touch the bones. They're enclosed in a casket, so the nearest you can get to actually touching them is the box they're in. So does the box have the healing powers, or the bones, or the box but only when it's got the bones in it?

3. Due to swine flu precautions you can't touch the box, or as is more traditionally done, kiss the box in case you catch or transmit swine flu. So, you've gone to be healed of something, believing God will heal you, but you can't kiss the relic in case it makes you ill.........

I'm not sure which to treat with more contempt - the healing properties of a bit of bone, or the complete over-reaction we're having to swine flu.

Calendars

As I was thinking about my old job earlier today I realized that there are many small changes in your life that accumulate over time to make a huge contrast. Today’s small change was calendar related.

For some strange reason I was thinking about how we reckon time. In a couple of days when the solistice comes it will officially be Autumn. In my old Project Managers head the end of September was always ‘week 39’ – each quarter of the year was 13 weeks long, so I always knew that the end of March was wk 13, June was wk26, Sept was wk39, Dec (obviously) was wk52. We rarely scheduled things according to the actual date – usually we knew how many weeks tasks took, so we worked things out that way, much easier than working with months of variable length. Weeks tended to ‘start’ on a Monday, unless you were using a particular piece of bespoke planning software, which for some reason known only by some bean counters in Eindhoven had the week starting on Saturday.

So to most people today is Saturday September 19th, but to my old self it was wk37.6, and to me now it is also the 7th Day of Trinity 15. All clear? No? Read on!

For a few fleeting months last summer I was able to work to the normal calendar, before getting swept into a combination of the Cambridge academic calendar where 3 brief bouts of work called ‘Michaelmas’, ‘Lent’ and ‘Hilary’ (no idea, sorry!) are punctuated by long periods of apparent inactivity, and the Church (or ‘liturgical’) calendar, in which the year begins somewhere around the end of November.

As my life is shortly to be dominated by the liturgical calendar, here’s a potted summary.
The year starts with Advent, 4 Sundays before Christmas, which tends to hover around the last few days of November/first few days of December. So that Sunday is ‘Advent 1’ and is followed by Advent 2, Advent 3, Advent 4 and Christmas Day (which isn’t necessarily a Sunday of course). It’s nice and easy for me now that my week starts on a Sunday. Except of course I might end up having a day off on Monday or Tuesday, in which case it’s almost over before it’s started. But here in Cambridge for me the only day that’s truly a day off is Saturday, so it’s nice and neat for the moment.

After Christmas Day most clergy collapse in a heap, take a week off and rejoice that New Year is not a church festival. But the calendar plunges on relentlessly, through ‘Christmas 1’ and ‘Christmas 2’ (yes, the Twelve Days of Christmas come from us!) to Epiphany in early January, and then (I guess you’re getting the hang of this now) through to Epiphany 4 before it’s Ordinary Time.

Yes, plain old vanilla Ordinary Time, which is what the church calls it when it can’t think of a better name. This pads the gaps in the calendar – sometimes well, sometimes pathetically as was the case in 2008 when the gap between Epiphany and Lent was a whole two days. More Ordinary Time later.

Lent begins 40 days (not counting Sundays) before Easter Day, which moves about through March and April* and takes us through Lent 1 to Lent 5. Lent 6 is called Palm Sunday, and then it’s Holy Week and Easter. After Easter most clergy collapse in a heap, take a week off and rejoice that the next church festival isn’t for another 8 weeks.

So that takes us through to Easter 7, followed by Pentecost in late May/early June. A sporting fact about Pentecost is that the Monaco Grand Prix is always held that weekend. We’re always ancouraged to wear red for Pentecost, and it’s difficult to not be mistaken for a Ferrari fan.

Now we find ourselves back in Ordinary Time with the Sunday which gives its name to the most Sundays in the year, Trinity Sunday – our annual opportunity to preach sermons about ice, water and steam being of one substance but of different appearances, a bit like God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Nearly there now, as we’ve not managed to invent anything major to celebrate for the next 21-23 weeks. Either that or somebody decided that as everybody would be on holiday around now there was no point. So we now plod our way through Trinity 2 to Trinity 23, although prayer book writers always seem to be reluctant to write specific prayers to use on Trinity 22 and 23 as they won’t be used very often. You may notice that in these weeks some of the standard prayers sound quite a lot like the ones from Trinity 21….

Actually Trinity 21 is quite popular for Church of England prayer book writers – if there’s ever an occasion when they were lacking inspiration or couldn’t be bothered they will refer you to the Collect (Special Prayer) for Trinity 21.

So that’s the top level view of the church year. I used to moan as a Project Manager that major milestones always had a tendency to slip towards Easter, Christmas or the holiday periods. Now I’m going to be working where that’s an unavoidable fact.

*There’s a formula relating the date of Easter to the ‘n’th Full Moon of the calendar year, invented by some Pope or other. Yes, it would be easier to have a fixed week for it, but it’s not worth falling out over.

A slightly different wedding

Watch this wedding video. Who says the bride's entrance has to be formal?

Restoring Prayer

This last weekend there was a Very Special Event at Ridley - the Simeon Centre's first conference - 'Restoring Prayer' - ready for birth after a two years gestation.

The marquee returned to the Ridley lawn and between Thursday and Sunday over 300 delegates gathered, hearing addresses from (amongst others) Eugene Peterson, the author of 'The Message', a contemporary paraphrase of the Bible, and Alistair McGrath, one of the few theologians that Richard Dawkins will lower himself to talk to. A varied programme of worship, addresses and seminars had been put together by a dedicated team from Ridley's Simeon Centre, and was supported by Ridley staff (my tutor was Eugene's chaffeur!) and students past and present.

As one of about 60 volunteers I got to go to anything I wanted to for free, and it's not often you get to hear the names on your bookshelf speak, so when I wasn't on duty setting things up or tearing them down I turned up to as much as I could and started to practice my note taking technique ready for the resumption of college in 3 weeks time!

Attention for me now turns to the small matter of writing a sermon for next Sunday when I return to my placement at Histon, and I start to think about the report and presentation on the placement which I need to get out of the way before term starts.

The conference organisers now have a chance to catch their breath, and possibly a little sleep.

"The answers my friend are blowing in the wind..."

Have I just quoted Bob Dylan there? Dunno. Don't really care.

Part Two of my summer/autumn holiday in Wales reflects on two aspects of Creation. That's Creation as in The Created Universe, not the verb, as I had neither the time, equipment or the inclination to attempt to rival what God's already done. I couldn't fit it in the car.

A couple of nights were clear enough for me to be able to go outside and marvel at the stars and planets. Although we were only three miles from the nearest town we were shielded from the glow of artificial light by the surrounding landscape, so you only needed to be outdoors for a couple of minutes before you could see the Milky Way. Look, there it is.

Click on the picture so it enlarges and the white haze that you can see is the Milky Way. I took that picture myself. No the stars aren't out of focus - in the 2 minute exposure the earth rotated enough that the stars leave a trail on the picture...

The second mountain was definitely climbed on purpose. This time we had proper shoes, fleeces, waterproofs, and most importantly a flask! We climbed Lord Hereford's Knob (I kid you not!) at a more leisurely pace than Isaac's usual, and it was so worth it. Truly panoramic views, and a ferocious wind that reminds you of its power. It's not uncommon to refer to the Holy Spirit as being like wind - I think people would be truly astounded and in no doubt what it was if experiencing it was anything like this.

Theologians often speak of people having 'mountaintop experiences'. My particular experience on this occasion included laughter at not being able to stand up in the wind, amusement at a teenage strop, and amazement at the view laid out all around me. God created all of it - even the teenage strop....

The Lost Sheep Climbs Every Mountain

One of the distinct advantages of being (nearly) clergy is that little things pop up out of the woodwork, like the opportunity to enjoy a holiday at a substantial discount. Even if that means you have to go to the middle of nowhere o'clock in Wales.

Wales should market itself as being ahead of the times - we left England enjoying its summer and found Wales was already into autumn weather. This meant that Tasha could enjoy using the Aga in the cottage. Not only does an Aga provide a constant source of heat, meaning that a kettle boils in a fraction of the normal time and that the building is permanently toasty (you could wander around in swimwear inside even if you couldn't outside), but it also burns an incredible amount of oil at the landlord's expense!

With no TV, Playstation or Wii the only entertainment was board games, books and jigsaws and we had a lovely week together as a familywithout the usual technological distrcations, although Beth's initial enthusiasm for her 1000 piece challenge wore off after the first time, leaving me and Isaac to complete it under more and more pressure as the week wore on.

One day we hired two-man canoes and paddled for 5 miles down the River Hay between Glasbury and Hay-On-Wye. I think Tasha and Beth did more teamwork in their boat - Isaac was a passenger for much of my trip, but was enjoying it anyway. We went past ducks and swans and the girls spotted kingfishers, which are really speedy!

We also climbed mountains. The first time was an accident - we were driving around in the late afternoon, stopped at a car park to look at the view, and before we knew it Isaac had gone in the opposite direction determined to 'climb that mountain'. Not taking him seriously we gave him a bit of freedom, until I realised that he had gone past the easy lower slope and wasn't turning back. By the time I had reached the same point in hot pursuit I was already exhausted and 15 minutes behind him. People coming in the opposite direction in their full waterproofs and sensible hiking boots, seeing me dressed in trainers, T-shirt and shorts were warning me that the weather was about to turn. But turing back wasn't an option, as I had to retrieve my lost sheep. The Oxford English Dictionary defines a mountain as "a natural elevation of the earth surface rising more or less abruptly from the surrounding level and attaining an altitude which, relatively to the adjacent elevation, is impressive or notable.". Let me assure you that this particular mountain met all those criteria. It's just that I couldn't really appreciate that as I was breathlessly ascending its abrupt elevations. In fact I probably set some sort of record in my ascent - I've never gone upwards under my own propulsion so fast. The picture at the top of the article doesn't do justice to it - it's 200 metres up from that point, pretty much at 45 degrees most of the way. And when I got to the top of the path the Lost Sheep was nowhere in sight. He'd gone off in search of the actual top of the mountain, and re-appeared after a couple of minutes having obviously found the triangulation point at the summit. He was ready to run back down and couldn't understand why I needed five minutes rest before going back down. I was 'slightly' annoyed with him for wandering off on his own, but also quietly impressed that he was pleased with himself for climbing a mountain all on his own.

Jesus lets us have the freedom to do what we want. If we run off up some mountain of our own he doesn't stop us. In Matthew Chapter 18 he tells the story of the Lost Sheep, putting himself as the shepherd.

Verses 12-14 (The Message) "Look at it this way. If someone has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders off, doesn't he leave the ninety-nine and go after the one? And if he finds it, doesn't he make far more over it than over the ninety-nine who stay put? Your Father in heaven feels the same way. He doesn't want to lose even one of these simple believers.

You might be one of those lost sheep who has wandered far away from the path that Jesus would have you on - but he still searches for you and wants to greet you when you are ready to be found.

And He can get up a mountain faster than I can.

A-Maize-ing Grace

After our London trip we've managed a few days lazing in the garden, reading books, doing Sudoku, reading more books, doing a jigsaw puzzle. The pattern of the day is getting a little tedious. So yesterday we had a change of scene - a day by Lammas Land paddling pool in Cambridge, not far from Ridley. I exercised some brain cells by exchanging a few books in the college library and saw a couple of familiar faces for a chat - the ways in which the summer holidays are being filled is as varied as the number of ordinands! Some students are about to embark on an MA course and consequently have just had an intensive 2 week summer school, with a full-on program of lectures and reading. That's a bit too extreme a contrast to my current lifestyle for my liking, so I'll stick with 'predictable-if-a-bit-dull' for a few more weeks.

Today was a return to familiar territory - the Milton Maize Maze, where we were hosting SPICE (the partners group). Looking back I find an article I wrote about the Maize Maze on Sept 5th 2008 a few weeks after we arrived, where we were the new family meeting the old hands. Fast forward a year and we 've switched positions. We spent a couple of hours meeting Jodie and her family, and Mark sent his family even if he couldn't be there. Jodie arrived in Cambridge earlier this week and needed the break from unpacking, and Mark will be arriving soon. Us former first years are beginning to realise that people will be looking to us as their seniors in a few weeks time.

Some of us wandered around the maize maze while others sat and chatted about life as an ordinand('s spouse). The maze is planted with a different pattern every year, and is a fleeting temporary thing - in a few weeks it will be harvested and turned into animal feed.

Ridley too has a different set of people each year - we were constantly being told that our year was 'more lively' and 'less serious' than the previous first year - and in a few months we too will be turned out and fed to the waiting masses!

Up Deptford Creek with a rabble

Continuing the latest in our series of "What do trainee vicars do in their holidays?", here's the latest installment, which could be easily entitled "What else can we do for free?"

With Bethany packed off on a coach back to Shepton Mallet for Soul Survivor we had 2 options:

1. Take advantage of our relative North-ness and go a bit further North for a few days camping near York, do the Railway Museum, the Yorvik centre, North York Moors Railway etc.


2. Go to London and do the Science Museum and anything else we can think of.
   

With the weather forecast looking dodgy, Eboracum being three times further away than Londinium (and therefore costing three times as much in diesel), and knowing of free accomodation in Deptford we went for the second option.

24 hours later the not-quite-newly ordained Rev. Jane Yeadon was welcoming us back to her Creek Road pad, this time with unpacking completed, pictures on the wall and cat installed.

We mastered Oyster cards and spent a day enjoying the Science Museum (well, Isaac and I enjoyed it whilst Tasha did a load of crosswords). We stumbled across the Albert Hall, which is so big that it is perfectly possible to walk past without noticing it is there, and enjoyed a cup of tea and a chocolate muffin in the Diana Memorial Playground whilst observing London life and different styles of parenting. For example, when Isaac plays in sand and water we tell him to wait until his feet are dry then to brush them off before putting his socks and shoes back on. Others have a complete change of clothes, bottles of water specially reserved for washing feet, towels, the works. I guess it allows them to exhibit Jesus-like behaviour in washing feet, but what a hassle!!

The following day we ascended the tower of Deptford St Nicholas and marvelled at the panoramic view before returning to ground level, Greenwich Maritime Museum and Greenwich Observatory.

Returning home our car accidentally ended up in the car park of a certain Swedish furniture retailer but luckily we managed to emerge only with some meatballs inside us, a few packs of batteries and a picture frame.

The trip to York will have to wait for another day.

New Whine

Ater our return from Ferndown we had a few days at home, before preparing for one of the major events of the summer, the family trip to New Wine - a Christian festival/conference for families.

We had heard reports that the previous week at Shepton Mallet (it runs for 2 weeks there, one at Newark) had not been the best weather-wise. As in it had tipped down pretty much continuously, some camping areas had been flooded and moved to the car park. More than slight drizzle. Upon arrival on Sunday 2nd August we weren't particularly encouraged to find that our camping area had been moved. Previously 'Green 2' we were now to report to 'Yellow 3'. But we drove past 'Green 2' on the way to 'Yellow', and found that our group was camping there anyway, as Yellow had already filled up (and actually over the coming few days looked worse than Green anyway!).

So, having set-up camp we now had time to re-acquaint ourselves with our 43 other friends from Ferndown over the course of the next seven days, which was largely done via the medium of wine, beer, brandy, nuts, crisps and biscuits.

New Wine has two main worship meetings per day. The first choice you have to make is whether you are a Venue One or Venue Two person, as the event is so big that there isn't a marquee big enough to hold everybody in one place (ignoring the vast Big Top that's going up in the field behind for Soul Survivor). Here's a handy guide:

Venue One: like worshipping in an aircraft hangar. I'm sure there was a discarded Vulcan bomber in a corner. Think of a Party Conference with bright colours, rows of cut flowers on the edge of the stage, hosts cheesily nice in nice comfortable polo shirts and safe haircuts. Music is acoustic gee-tars, pianos and muted drum kits. And my favourite - 'Worship Barbie' - a blonde female singer who sings squeakily and jumps randomly. Always spare seats.

Venue Two: More like worshipping in the kitchen that's the best place at the party. No cut flowers, hosts in black and grey with stubble. Music is all electric and the drummer wouldn't know what muffling is! Often a struggle to find either grey hair or a seat, even after all have 'scooched' up to fill empty gaps.

Suffice to say that we bought the CD of the band ('Trent') that was playing in Venue Two!

While the adults do Venues, the children have their own fantastic age-specific groups to attend, and with our children being 9 and 13 we only really had to entertain them for 5 hours in the afternoon, and they're old enough to go and come back themselves. Great!

Unfortunately, theological students are a nightmare at places like this. Over the last year I've learnt to reflect on various situations. This can also be translated as 'criticise'. I'm not sure if I'm pleased with myself that I now look at song lyrics and dissect them, saying things like "this verse doesn't mean anything, it's just a load of thoughts stuck together because they rhyme". Maybe that's good, maybe it's not. Tasha got a bit bored of me wrinkling my nose at things, whether it be leadership style, content or theology of speakers. But the church would be boring if we all did things exactly the same, and New Wine is a place where people can explore their boundaries and influences.

Another side effect of this education is that when speakers refer to the original Greek text of the new Testament I get heads turning towards me asking me to confirm if that's true. I don't know! I translated 5 chapters of John, I didn't memorise the whole flippin' book!!!

The weather was grotty for the first 3 or 4 days. The rain built on the previous week, and mud became sloppier and sloppier, before it finally became sunny on Thursday and things started to dry out, although the ground never became truly solid - there was always a squelch underfoot somewhere.

A return home on Sunday to a roast dinner prepared by our house-sitters, a hot shower and a soft bed was most welcome. As I write this Bethany is preparing to go back to Shepton Mallet tomorrow for 5 days at Soul Survivor. Hopefully the ground has dried further, as the forecast is for more rain.

Light of the world

A former colleague texted me to ask what trainee vicars get up to in the holidays. I referred him to this blog, only for him to reply that I haven't written anything for 3 weeks. Whoops!

So, I'm still waiting for news from the bishop, but lots has happened since then. Let me tell you in several easy chunks, starting with my reason for being back in the south three weeks ago.

A few years ago, my children were in the local dancing school, First Position School of Dance (Google it if you live in Bournemouth!), which was about to do its first ever stage production. They were looking for somebody to do the stage lighting, which was a dormant hobby of mine, so I was volunteered for it. I must have done a good job, as I've done each major show since! And I must have done well this time as I'm now having to ponder my availability another two years hence.

As I'm on university terms my summer holiday this year is over three months long, and things like this serve several purposes:

1. Keeps me off the streets
2. Gets the family back 'home' to see old friends
3. It's a cheap holiday. On top of my grant from Salisbury I receive a rather generous 'long vacation' allowance of just over £300, which presumably is meant to cover the cost of a family holiday - I'll probably spend that in petrol costs this summer!

So I spent most of the week in a darkened theatre programming a computerised lighting desk, taking part in over-running Technical and Dress Rehearsals, and four performances, along the way providing a Wogan-style commentary to the crew on the backstage headsets. By the final performance all the lights were perfect!

Along the way I renewed old friendships, and had an amazing number of conversations with these people, who when I last worked with them had no idea of the turn my life was about to take. As one old gentleman said "you don't meet many people in your line of work these days" (by which he meant people who were in training for the Ministry). People are fascinated by what I'm doing, and joked about wanting to come to my church if services were going to be technologically anything like what I'd just accomplished.

Well I can't promise that, as not many churches have the budget to have amazing lighting (but if I found one that did, I'd use it to help focus attention on proceedings, appropriately without distracting from the main purpose of worship). But many places do have more technology than you realise. Before I left St Mary's Ferndown we had upgraded the vision system from a 'simple' projector based song-words set-up to a multi-monitor, multi-location camera based set-up, allowing better sight of what was happening at the front/back/sides - wherever the action was taking place, enhancing the worship experience for all. But again, if technology is overused in worship it becomes distracting, so the key is understanding what the limits are - what your congregation can cope with - and this will vary depending on what the service is!

When I know where I'll end up I'll maybe have further chances in the technology department. Maybe I'll be somewhere where a radio microphone is cutting-edge.....

False Alarm!

I had an e-mail yesterday inviting me to make an appointment with the Bishop. As I'm currently in his vicinity I wasted no time in making a phone call, and was pleasantly surprised to find myself in his study 7 hours later!

We'd spent all day speculating about which exotic Wilts/Dorset location he might be asking me to consider, but unfortunately we're still none the wiser. That's because I've got a really good bishop!

As I might have mentioned before, we have to fill in a fairly limited tick-box form, which tells him very little about us. So the purpose of today's meeting was for him to hear what I want out of my first placing from my mouth, not from a form. Now we've done that he's in a much better position to match me to a suitable parish and vicar than he was this morning.

The wait continues, and I now expect to hear from him again at the end of August!

Four Croissants and a Funeral

The title seems to be a fairly accurate summary of the last seven days. The final week of my summer placement seems to have been mainly one of food, although there have been other highlights:

Monday - Deanery Synod (yawn) - cup of tea and a plate of biscuits
Tuesday - a pre-funeral visit, preceded by a McDonalds lunch (offering value for money!), and a 'Council of Churches' meeting where the refreshments were notable by their total absence.
Wednesday - 'Essence' - a cafe church where at least 2 if not 3 of the aforementioned croissants were consumed.
Thursday - Men's Group, with a cup of tea (but no biscuits), and a Marriage Preparation Review Meeting (with Dot's 'Lavender Cake')
Friday - 'Thirst' - another cafe church (technically not part of my placement, but my stomach doesn't care), followed by the funeral, followed by an interesting combination of crumpets and baked beans.
And tomorrow morning I round it all off with a prayer breakfast.

More tea vicar?

EDIT: Saturday morning - the prayer breakfast brought the tally to 5 croissants!

Where are you going to be working?

...is a question that I'm being asked increasingly.

And the honest answer to that - at the moment - is "I don't know". But I might know soon.

The Church of England has a process for allocating the outgoing ordinands to suitable training posts - curacies - and this process is just starting to kick into effect.

Just before the end of term I had to fill in a form stating my preferences (type of church, location, personal requirements etc). It was tempting to put my standard post-gig demands here - a crateful of chilled Carlsberg and a flock of nuns mopping my fevered brow in the vestry - but unfortunately I think it was after more practical stuff such as housing needs. At the same time the staff and Principal were writing a report on me that by now has gone to my Bishop.

The default position for all candidates is that our 'sending' diocese has first call on our services, and until they say that they have no position for us ('releasing' us) we have to work on that assumption. So around about now the cogs are turning in Salisbury to try to match my preferences with curacy opportunities that Bishops David, Stephen and Graham have in mind, taking into consideration anything flagged up in my college report as a specific development need. Shortly I'll hear from the Diocesan Director of Ordinands, and will be asked to visit the parish that they have in mind. Which could be almost anywhere in Dorset or Wiltshire.

Then we'll arrange a visit, probably over the course of a weekend, and will have to assess whether we think it will work or not. Both sides can say 'yes' or 'no'. If both are positive, we have a result. If either are negative we see if the diocese has anything else in mind. If they do, we try somewhere else. If not, I'm released and we go national, and there's a whole other bit of process for that.

Of course, I might not be able to tell you anything more for ages - we've got a busy summer ahead of us so it's going to be a while before we can visit anywhere - and even if it does all work out first time there are going to be formalities to go through before I can write about it....

Jane's ordination - Every Little Helps

As Roy Castle once sang:

"Ordination, Ordination, Ordination,
That's what you need"

And so the family decamped to deepest darkest Deptford for the weekend to support Jane at her ordination. Jane was on my staircase, a good friend and a free babysitter who liked lying on a real sofa in a real house every once in a while.

We drove down to her house in Deptford, picked up the keys from her vicar, Steve, and helped ourselves to her house. At this point it might help to understand that the last few days before your ordination are spent 'on retreat' away from the distractions of everyday life, in order to allow you to prepare properly for the life-changing ordination day. One distraction that Jane had was her post-ordination party. As a single lady she had to think long and hard about how she was going to find a 'wife' to sort this out for her, so the plan that evolved was this:

1. We, and another family, would spend the Saturday evening in her house, waiting in to receive the online supermarket order of party food that she had placed before leaving.
2. All would then go to Southwark Cathedral on Sunday morning to attend the ordination (except for Beth and Isaac who would be taken off in London by their uncle for the day)
3. Upon return from the Cathedral it would be all hands on deck to get the food out onto the tables.
4. Party starts, everybody happy.

The plan started to fall apart at step zero, on the Friday night, when I got a text from the other family saying that their car had broken down and they wouldn't be able to make it at all. So now we were the primary receivers of the shopping order. So on Saturday, having availed ourselves of Janes house, we went into London to look at Big Ben/Downing Street/Trafalgar Square/Buckingham Palace etc, with Isaac becoming a master climber of statues along the way.

At Tower Bridge as a thunderstorm broke over our heads it was time to head back to make sure that we were there before the opening of the delivery window at 7pm. We were a bit damp after a ride through the rain on the Docklands Light Railway, but we made it with 15 minutes to spare.

We had dinner, put the kids to bed, and waited. And waited. And waited. The delivery window closed at 9pm, with no sign of the order. Checking the copy of the order that Jane had left behind we saw that we could ring Customer Services up until 11pm, so we gave them half an hour's grace before calling. Upon calling them I got an automated message telling me that the lines closed at 8pm on a Saturday and didn't re-open until 10am on Sunday. Hmm....no party food, and due in the cathedral at 10.30am.

Plan B swung into action.

When Jane saw me at Southwark before the service started she made ber own assumptions about Tasha's absence, putting it down to 'childcare problems'. I wasn't confirming or denying anything - it wouldn't be good to lie to a nearly-Reverend, and we'd agreed not to get Jane worried.

I wasn't hanging about after the service. I pegged it across South-East London back to the house to find everything under control, and the last few things being put out onto tables.

So how had this miracle been achieved?

Tasha had stayed house-sitting, ringing Customer Services on the dot of 10am. They tried to help, but ultimately their best offer was to deliver on Monday evening, blaming 'XXXXX Weather'. So she told them to cancel the order and got in the car, finding the local superstore and doing the shopping herself. Of course as she'd been expecting to go to an ordination she only had her 'best' clothes, which drew some strange looks in Lewisham.

Upon her return she now had a couple of hours to kill before everybody was due back, so got everything out onto the tables. Not a bad achievement when you're in a strange house, not knowing what bowls/plates/dishes are available, or even if they've been unpacked yet.

Jane was blissfully unaware of any of this, as the supermarket had not even been bothered to phone her to tell her that the order would not be delivered. She only found out the truth when she arrived home and couldn't work out why the food was already on the table. Needless to say, Tasha was immediately everybody's best friend!

The Christian website 'Ship of Fools' drew my attention this morning to Bishop Jonathan Blake's latest addition to his ministry - the 5th emergency service 'Bishop on Call'. Why, oh why didn't we think of him on Saturday night. Tash could have still come to the ordination whilst Blake cruised the supermarket aisles. I bet he'd have got even funnier looks about his apparel than she did.

On Placement

With all the academic side of life finished until the end of September you could be forgiven for thinking that I'm going to be doing nothing for 3 months.

Wrong!

One course requirement is for me to spend four weeks hanging out with a friendly vicar, to really find out what life in a vicarage is like. You might think it's a bit late for that - vicarage life is going to happen anyway, but some people are still not quite sure what they want to do after ordination. The huge majority will go into a parish life, but others may be considering chaplaincy work, or other roles within the church. This month is a good time to find out how much you like day to day parish work; it's also a chance to do stuff you haven't done before.

So I'm spending a month with James (vicar) and Paul (curate) at St Andrews Histon and St Andrews Impington. As a former scientist I'm tempted to write that as an equation, to save use of multiple 'St Andrews', thus: St.Andrews (Histon and Impington), but that would require it to be the same St Andrews, which it's not. There are two of them. And I've now written more words than I would have saved. Enough rambling.

Starting last Tuesday I've been cycling a 10 mile round trip from my house to Histon, and spending large parts of the day accompanying James and Paul as they do their work. A cafe church ('Essence'), a home communion, a hospital visit and another home visit are among the highlights. This week holds the prospect of some schools work, a playgroup and some evening meetings, whilst also trying to maintain some semblence of family life.

Along the way I'm looking out for interesting situations to comment on, as I'll have to do a presentation and an essay on the placement when I get back to Ridley in September.

And as if the cycle ride wasn't enough I rounded off the week with a Men's Group cycle ride. I've done on of those before, in Ferndown, but that gentle 8 or 9 mile ride had nothing on this Cambridge epic. I never thought I'd cycle from the extreme north of Cambridge (Histon) to the extreme south (Grantchester), but I have now, and done the return trip too! 17.3 miles! Add to that the 10 miles for me to get to and from home and I was ready for bed on Friday night.

The phone lines are closed...

..the votes have been counted and verified, and the results are ....


L - O - N - G


P - A -U - S - E


...in your pigeon holes for collection.

Actually it doesn't seem to be the done thing to talk about our results. Sorry about that. If I actually published the breakdown of my scores somebody would probably get upset. But for those who have been following my progress in Greek, that particular result rhymes with fix-de-swine.

Most of my results started with a 6, only one with a 5, one even with a 7, and the figures 7 and 8 were common as second figures. If we were to get Peter Snow to project these results onto a final degree result, it wouldn't quite rhyme with Thirst. But as I'm only staying long enough to complete a Diploma that's a fairly academic point. (academic! - get it? Oh, please yourself)

A few days after the results were issued we also got our essays back with the examiners comments. This is where we start to get a real feel for what we need to do to improve our marks for next year, if indeed we're aiming to improve - I started out aiming only to pass the diploma, but I feel an increasing urge to continue study after ordination at a slightly slower pace in order to complete to degree level and to see just how well I can do! I do have a common theme of not making sufficient reference to the books that I've read on the subject, or an over-reliance on one particular author. In one case, I read loads of books on Youth Ministry but struggled to find anything of direct relevance to the Romsey Mill situation that I was writing about, so the bibliography was long, but the list of references was very short... I guess I can learn library skills from that for next year.

We now have the summer holidays to decide which modules we'll be taking next year. There is very little choice to be honest, as most people on my course have little prior theological education, so we're guided to the same core choices as each other. Where it will vary a little is in detailed choices such as between studying one pair of Old Testament books or another, and the ability to 'audit' certain additional courses, which means we can sit in on lectures but don't have to submit any assessed work - this way we get to hear material, and can read around what interests us, but without the pressure of related essays.

And I've got all summer to consider my options, even if I didn't make any notes from the options meeting......ooops!

How to stump a leading theologian

Last week we had a visit by a distinguished guest, the highly influential 20th century theologian Professor Jurgen Moltmann. You might never have heard of him, but if you've heard a sermon in the last forty years you will have heard his ideas.

Professor Moltmann was speaking on the occasion of the 2nd annual Moule lecture, held in memory of Charlie Moule, another key theologian who had a long association with Ridley Hall. A marquee full of staff, students, former students, invited guests and members of the public listened to his lecture for nearly an hour, before the floor was opened for questions.

And this was the first question. (Don't worry, it really doesn't matter if you weren't there for the lecture itself. It makes no difference whatsoever to your understanding of the question. Or indeed to Moltmann's understanding of the question. If by any remote chance the questioner is reading this, please let us know who you are. We're not quite sure why we want to know, we just have a morbid fascination.)

Questioner: “This is a double whammy if you will pardon the approach. The first thing is that for years there have been sermons preached about the Parable of the Sower which I think to have been quite erroneous for the simple reason that they ignore the work of C.H.Dodd and Joachim Jeremias in pointing out the context of the parable and trying to make out that Jesus was an idiot because he taught in parables which was a traditional Pharisaic method. So therefore my question is, starting from that point to ask the question: do we not recognize that the Parable of the Sower has two contexts? The context of the ministry of Jesus when he stands in the Hebrew background to understand that there is one particular truth held which is the victory of God that’s coming with a magnificent harvest that is far beyond anything we can dream of and then the context of the Greek speakers who couldn’t understand the Hebrew thinking and tried to deal with the allegory. That is the first bit, and the second bit is related to the question of time, which has been something that has run through all of your lecture, that is the question of how you relate time to eternity. And years ago I came to a certain picture and I’ll share it with you for your consideration, which is to say that if you take a ball and let that represent eternity and you draw a tangent to touch the side of that ball then that represents the amount of time that is in existence from when time began to when it ends. But everyone’s time is interpermeated with eternity and therefore we have that to add to our picture of the historical Jesus who is the eternal Jesus, who interpenetrates everyone’s time, our time now, he’s with us, their time then when he was with them. I offer those two things to you….”

Jurgen Moltmann: “Errr.. I’m not quite sure whether I understood every word you are saying…”


Jurgen is not alone. This was one rare occasion when I was on the same level as the staff.

End of Year

Would you believe that Year 1 of 2 is nearly over? A whole month before Beth and Isaac finish school Dad finishes first!

With our leavers having finished last week (although still departing!) things are a lot quieter round here. At lunchtime there are just three tables occupied rather than the normal seven.

There are a few things to help us pass the time, between packing up our studies into boxes and moving into the basement so that a language school can take occupation next week. On Monday and Tuesday we did 'Community Tasks' - a variety of jobs helping to maintain the college and grounds, ranging from hedge trimming to sorting out the library - which I was assigned to - the only time that it's acceptable to make lots of noise in the library. Unused books were removed, creating space for new acquisitions - it's amazing how satisfying it is just moving books from one shelf to another. However, I'm not sure how easy it was for the visiting student who chose that day to write his assignment on 1 Corinthians. He took out most of the books on that topic, whilst we merrily rearranged and moved the shelf leaving no gap for him to return his books into!

Tuesday lunchtime brought possibly the last game of croquet of the season, and Wednesday the final Common Room meeting of the year (meeting of the student body) where we reviewed the year and looked forward to the things we need to do early next term to welcome the new students.

Thursday will have a final meeting with the staff, a session on our summer placements, and an All Age service to close the term. Which my team is leading.

It's going to be busy tomorrow. And then there's little let up, with a weekend trip to Ferndown and a single day off on Monday before I start tagging along behind a real vicar for a month.

That sinking feeling...

I'm sorry to report that the Ridley Hall punt, Penny, suffered a fatal injury over the weekend. Over time her base had become rotten, and it just took somebody to stand in her to produce a reasonably sized hole. Fortunately this happened close to home, and in the presence of Chris, our friendly punt deacon. For future reference if this ever happens to you, simply sit everybody in one end of the punt to counteract the torrent pouring in the other end whilst making quick headway back to the mooring point.

The punt was given by an ordinand a number of years ago in memory of his wife Penny, who died whilst he was training at Ridley. Now that Penny the Punt has been retrieved and returned to dry land at college her nameplates will be removed and he will give them to his daughters.

Since then, Chris has been busy negotiating with local punt companies and has come up with an amazing deal that enables us to have unlimited use of commercial punts at advantageous rates with none of the expense or hassle of ownership.

This all comes mere weeks after my family took Penny out for a spin. Very nice, but slightly soggy feet at the end. Now we know why.

Leaving and returning

It's one of those odd days at Ridley today. Yesterday was 'Leavers Day' - the official last day for those who are finished their time here. Most will be going off to be ordained, a handful have other plans, or are doing other roles for a year before being ordained next year. In the afternoon there was a children's party, a three-line-whip college communion and a Leavers Dinner in the evening.

There was a definite point when I can identify that I stopped being a First Year and became a 'Returner' - during the communion service all students went forward by staircase to pray for the leavers of that staircase. As my friends stood in front of me there was a real sense of sending them out, commissioning them for the next phase of their ministry, and a sudden realisation that I and everybody else who leaves next year were now in a position of seniority. In twelve months time I'll be the one going out...

As the marquee from the dinner is cleared out today there is a stream of leavers emptying their studies, carrying boxes and pushing trolleys, stuffing cars and vans full of that one roomful of possessions. Some of those who have lived out of college are already moving house today.

Ordinations take place on various dates. Many dioceses ordain at 'Petertide' - the last weekend of June / first one of July, others have to wait for 'Michaelmas' - the last weekend of September. I'm planning to go to one in Southwark on 28th June. For those being ordained earliest the next two weeks looks something like: move, unpack, have a bit of a rest, go on a 2-3 day pre-ordination retreat, get ordained, start work.

For them I reproduce here an article from this week's Church of England Newspaper, an excerpt from a regular column by Catherine Fox*:

Ordination dilemmas for new candidates
This week, some words of wisdom for those preparing for
ordination. ‘Foxes have holes, birds of the air have nests,
but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.’ Bracing
words. The nitty-gritty of discipleship. If the Lord
genuinely called us to be homeless for the sake of the
Gospel, we’d do it, wouldn’t we? ‘Jehovah jireh, my
provider, his grace is sufficient for me, for me for me.’ But
what if the Son of Man did have somewhere to lay his head,
only it was a curate’s house with blown vinyl wallpaper,
a damp poky study that used to be the garage, pub lounge
carpets, with all the good schools nearby full?

Curiously enough, this can feel like an even harder calling.
Grace sufficient for blown vinyl? Ooh, that’s a different
theological category entirely. Brace yourselves, folks, that’s
what you’ll need. Your bathroom suite will be avocado or
Germolene pink. Your kitchen tiles will have wheat ears and
harvest mice on. In short, your curate’s house will be full of
things that are nearly bad enough for you to do something
about, but not quite, because it’s only for three years. Yes,
you can stand it for three years, but it will annoy you for three
years. You will, of course, have your resettlement grant.
Here’s my advice: use it all on carpets. (A chancellor I know
would say use it all on bookshelves, but he’s wrong about that.
Books can be stacked in a corner, but there’s nothing you do
about exploding cabbage carpets.) There will also be a pot of
money for redecoration. If you are lucky, your congregation
will be full of able-bodied volunteers who can wield a roller
and repaint the entire house without falling off a step-ladder and
breaking a hip. Otherwise the parish will have to pay someone
to redecorate, and the money will run out halfway up the stairs.
I know there are ordinands out there snorting ‘At least they’ve
GOT a curate’s house! I’m getting ordained in a matter of weeks
and the accommodation still isn’t sorted!’ Welcome to the C of E!
Let’s find someone to blame. The parish? The bishop? The housing
officer? The DDO? All of the above? The trouble is that the church
is staffed not by villains so much as good-hearted folk trying to
make an impossibly under-funded over-stretched system work.
It didn’t ought to be this way, but it is this way. And you will
survive. You will. Just don’t look to your training incumbent for
sympathy. The minute you raise any of these issues, I guarantee
that older clergy will immediately go into a Monty Python-esque
Four Yorkshire Vicars sketch. ‘Curate’s house? Luxury! We lived
in a wheelie bin in the graveyard!’

*(c) 2009, The Church of England Newspaper

The Besom Project

At the risk of blowing my own trumpet, we did something fantastic last week - "The Besom Project".

Besom started small over 20 years ago and now operates in 30 locations around the country, Cambridge being one of them. It aims to "provide a bridge between those who want to give money, time, skills or things, and those who are in need". For more info on Besom visit their website. I organised a group of ordinands to do something to help a Cambridge family, and all we had to do was give our time. Besom put us in touch with a family in need, and provided the tools and equipment we needed to do the job.

The story is best told by plagarising my own material, so here are edited highlights of my daily prayer updates that I sent to the Ridley community. The names of the family have been changed to preserve their anonymity.

Wednesday

Thank you for your prayers for us in chapel today. A team of five managed to clear an overgrown back garden and painstakingly weed a gravelled front garden. Along the way a fair amount of time was spent chatting and praying with our 'recipient' Sarah, who is happily publicising to anybody who passes what a wonderful job these trainee vicars are doing for her and her family.

Sarah is a single mum who has struggles with aspects of life and with bringing up her two daughters Dawn and Charlotte. Dawn seems to be the one who manages to combine schoolwork with keeping the household going, and is remarkably level-headed for it.

Today the social worker visited and suddenly there is an increased interest in the family, which we hope is unrelated to our presence. We are also making efforts through the appropriate channels to draw attention to a broken soil pipe with Sarah's disinterested faceless landlord, The Council, and have uncovered a bees nest for them to deal with too!

Tomorrow we continue with the gardening, and move on to re-painting Dawn's bedroom, but we have taken the family to our hearts and want to do so much more for them than we can possibly achieve in 3 days.

Becca and Charlie have both prayed with Sarah on her front doorstep, something that she welcomed.

Please continue to pray for the team, both those who will be joining us tomorrow for the first time, and for those who are exhausted from today's efforts. Also that we continue to deal tactfully with issues that arise, and resist the temptation to totally blitz the house to bring it to our own personal standards. Finally, for Sarah, particularly worried about the sudden increase in interest from Social Services, and turning to us for advice.

Thursday

Day 2 in the Big Besom house was as productive as yesterday. We took a van full of rubbish to the tip, some progress towards Sarah's desire to get a skip for most of the stuff she doesn't have the ability to dispose of. Work in both gardens moved on, and we're starting to feel that we're getting on top of it all.

Our main target today was the redecoration of Dawn's bedroom, and we got further than I expected we would. The room was totally emptied (but given how jam-packed full it was this took nearly an hour) before being thoroughly cleaned and painted. So far we've got two coats of paint on the ceiling, one on the walls and one on the woodwork. Tomorrow we need to raise that count to 2 coats of everything, along with returning the furniture and belongings to some sort of order.

Yesterday's 'prayer on the doorstep' was superceded today by Andy’s 'Bible Study on the doorstep', reading some parts of Matthew's Gospel with Sarah. I'm not sure how we can top that on Friday, but we continue to pray with Sarah as and when she needs it.

Please continue to pray for Sarah, Dawn and Charlotte, with whom we have a great relationship. Sarah was really touched by our prayers for her yesterday, and we're finding it difficult to remain emotionally detached. Again, we're all tired after another day's hard work.

Friday

Phew - it's all over! Today we finished everything we'd set out to achieve. With the final coats of paint done by lunchtime, all that remained was lots of finishing flourishes. It's not quite like it is on the TV, where they have lots of money to throw at it, but today produced three rose bushes and a rotary washing line for the garden and some fresh furniture for Dawn's bedroom.

Charlie prayed with Sarah over the new 'rose garden' for a new beginning, blessing the garden and the house. The roses came after Sarah told one of us that she loved them, but that her last rose bush had been dug up some time ago. She now gazes out of her kitchen window at her flowers.

We replaced her dilapidated washing line with a new rotary drier, which we now know is one thing that she's been wanting to save up for. Dawn loves her revived bedroom. With everything having come out and gone back in for the redecoration she can now see the floor, and is having a good clearout as things go back in. A quick search of Besom's limited stock of donated furniture found a desk, CD shelves and rug for her. The desk provides her with an unprecedented place to do her homework, and is already proudly and neatly outfitted with her stationery.

Dawn gave me some insight into the social worker's increased involvement this week - this was extra support being provided as they weren't sure how her mum would cope with all the work being done in her house.

Before we left, Sarah told me that we've moved her closer to God this week, and that as a result she's taking Charlotte to Sunday School at her local church this Sunday. She also told that the support we've given has made her stronger - she acknowledges a problem with alcohol, but has visited 2 shops today and avoided the temptation of buying any. It's her 50th birthday in a couple of weeks time, and she's now planning a garden party to show it off to her friends!

This sort of stuff is where things happen - on the frontiers demonstrating Christ's love. We've learnt loads - but it can be summarised as "be bold, seize the chance"

Monday

As I write this blog entry, we might never know the impact that we've had on that family's life. We do know that Sarah and Charlotte went to their local church yesterday, despite the pouring rain, and that they are intending to go back. Several of my fellow students are attached to that church and each one has told me this morning of how Sarah's spirits have been lifted by this team of trainee vicars. I'm sure we haven't heard the last from her, but we will have left the area long before the story ends.

So the question for us, both students and staff here at Ridley is "what next?". For you, dear reader, in your churches and homegroups, it is "what can I do that will make a difference?". Even if there isn't a Besom project near you, what is stopping you from doing this yourself?

The blog software prevents me from putting as many pictures as I'd like here, so please go to my Facebook photo-album (you don't need to be a Facebook user to go there)